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I was crawling around on the floor in the University Bar looking for the small screw which had fallen out of my spectacles when this guy asked me what I was doing. I said I'm looking for a wee screw.........and he said.....there's a wee screw sitting right here.

That was nice of them. I'd pass on the Qdoba, maybe a taste to be polite but not a fan. I brought bourbon balls to work today as my parting gift. Everyone likes my balls.

OK not really that I know of! Other riders send me stuff they want me to post in forums and blog etc. I guess they are kind of shy!

life is short and I'm not getting any younger

I got hit on a few times when I was young and hot, by both sexes. I kind of miss getting hit on, by any body. Now the waitresses call me honey, and pat my hand That hand killed dragons...honey, now get me a beer, and where the hell is my samich!! Ah...the older I get....the tougher I was

Pretty aren't they? Good quality beer in these kegs. Maybe some IPA or Arrogant Bastard? I'm thirsty.

I don't know why I get this drama. I try to live a drama free life. Clean living, treat others the way I want to be treated and I get LAJ and my mom thinks my sister is stealing from her. Good thing we're going out drinking tonight.

...the parody thread on this, "I got shit on by a gay dude," is gonna be epic.

They look pretty, eh? Hahaha

ha, ha..., we recently ended up with an electronic blood pressure cuff at our house that was my Mom's. We started seeing who could lower their heart rate the lowest, etc and we use it all the time. Took mine yesterday, pretty normal for me..., 53 bpm My wife told me not to move because she wanted to see if she could get a reaction. She did her thing then said "test it again"..., 138 bpm So the short answer is "Yes" she still does it for me

The secret to good writing:

I found my technique improves when I employ a fan.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

This is the bestest news ever me love cheese

I think Kirby would really like this picture. Look at the pretty streamers the pilot attached to his airplane!!

We should definitely make that a category in the Forum Olympic Games.

... why madam, we've only just been introduced.

I knew I had to leave an old job when I found myself looking forward to going to the dentist for a root canal because at least it wasn't work and nobody could call me there. Sorry you have to go though this (and pay for it), but at least the rest of your life is good enough that tyou're not looking forward to the root canal.

I worked in an office that had single usage bathrooms that were unisex. I had numerous wars with the VP's Admin who felt she ran the office when in fact all facets of the office except her reported to me. Anyway she put up signs that both of the bathrooms were women's only and the men had to use the bathroom down the street at the gas station! I told her she's full of sheot. She said we mess up the bathrooms and there for were not permitted to use them. She then put out a memo to all male employees stating as such. I then forwarded this memo to our Corporate HR and cited the OSHA code regarding restrooms in the work place which the gas station was not compliant with and she got slapped down hard. Freaking beotch... Couldn't stand her.

I know that would never happen to me, but it would be fun to turn the 'politically correct' tables around for once: Gay dude: nice bike Me: thanks (no kidding) Gay dude: you look familiar Me: I ride around here a lot Gay dude: you're cute Me: Gay dude: I'm gay Me: I'm offended.

I didn't know that NAPA needed IT people!

I was at work but I'm back now. There was a psychologist who was treating 3 different women in the same session. To the first woman he said you have a problem with eating. You even named your daughter Candy. To the second woman he said you have a problem with money. You even named your daughter Penny. The third woman jumped up, grabbed her son by the arm and said "Come on Richard, we're leaving. I don't have to put up with this. Miss me?

The losing weight and getting horny thread made me wonder, how many still get horny with their wives after all these years? Adulterers need not answer, that is cheating (see what did did there? ) I met Gina almost 30 years ago, she had everything I liked. Small waist, size 3, short, and a big booty! Catering wanting to please her man attitude and sweetest personality. I knew I could grow old with her and even though we would both get old, go white and gain weight, I knew I would still be just as attracted to her as when we met. Smartest thing I ever did in my life was to look for a woman who made me feel this way. I had a lot of women make offers before I met her but I steered clear form most of them not wanting to get trapped again. Especially with something I knew I would not like later in life. Meaning no one night lover was worth giving up a happy life down the road. Better to celibate! Though we have both gotten older, whiter and heavier, she still gets my blood boiling! The things that were excellent before are still beautiful in a mature woman. meaning I don't expect a 53 year old woman to have a 6 pack. We're both softer now and it's still just as thrilling as it was back then. I will say about the big booty. One would think a bit booty has to be soft. Not the truth! Though big, that sucker is still hard enough to bounce a quarter off it! So people, are you still just as attracted to your spouse as you were from the start? Be honest, just don't let them read this thread if not going in their favor. Almost 30 years ago. About 5 years ago, still had the butt! Not long ago (long black dress) and the pigtails last month. Still gets me going!

It's a nice night so I decided to ride the fatso to my local library for a book. (bout a mile from my condo). I get half way there, and this is the conversation. Grey dude: nice bike Me: thanks (no kidding) Grey dude: you look familiar Me: I read around here a lot Grey dude: you're cute Me: Grey dude: I'm grey Me: I'm not Grey dude: oh, you're cute through We went our separate ways. To be fair, I really thought about checking him out, but decided to get a book called Brokeback Mountain. I like Western novels.

Dude aint going there.... I just know if I did we would surely meet up on SART and you'd rat me out! Hey Chris said you he likes your _____ or you like to do _______ in bed... But yes after nearly 30 years I'm still very attracted to my wife and have no desire to be with anyone else.

Rude. Don't leave me and your drink alone when we meet up.

I thought this was going to be about a job.

People who get so offended that they offend others in retaliation.

If you were in the titty bar.

This accident was right up the street from where these people lived and most accidents happen within a few miles of people's homes. Re-think your habits!

Crashes happen to other people. I'm a good driver, that won't happen to me.

They should do a study on breathing. It eventually leads to death, IMHO.

Did they recommend probiotics? Antibiotics can wreak havoc.

I thought jammers were what you wore to bed.

I am part Sicilian but I don't think the Don was one of my direct relatives.

Hybrids, the "home" for older bikers.

Yes. The bike build is now complete. All the drivetrain is moved over from the old road bike for a 100% improvement in quality. The new rims capable of handling more than 7 speeds are on along with the new Avid brake calipers and Shimano rotors. And he saw that it was good. And he's going to rest......but only after a ride.

"He's so unhip When you say 'Dylan', He thinks you're talkin' bout Dylan Thomas Whoever he was The man ain't got no culture" --Paul Simon

Take half a cup of cheese and call me in the morning.

You made my day. Bring on the Camembert!

Not my pictures, it's on my photography bucket list.

Such a beautiful young lass. She looks like Laurie Partridge in that picture.

WofZeph says I'm so stunned that I have no idea when I am getting hit on. I have mentioned to her some weird random conversations I have had and she laughed and said that they were totally hitting on me and I was completely oblivious

If you are going to hang out at least do it with friends.

This doesn't apply to Angelina.

Nice! I got hit on by gay dudes in NYC every now and then. It doesn't matter if it is the wrong demographic hitting on you, it is just nice to know that people are noticing you. If gay dudes are looking, that means the chicks are, too!

He liked your assets.

I heard this because it was highlighted as "BREAKING NEWS" on CNN. Somewhere Edward R Murrow is silently crying.

Prior terrible spouse disease?