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You are one of the kindest people I've never met. My Grandmother had MS and was bedridden. Then she developed dementia. My Grandfather took care of her on his own. They had an aid and nurse come on some days, but the burden fell mostly to him. He refused to put her in a home. She died at home about 15 years ago, he's going to be 99 in a couple of months. I had a friend, only 37, who had planned to die at home. It got to be too much for her husband, so they last few days were spent in a hospice They stopped feeding her and giving her IVs, only oral, liquid pain meds they squirt in her mouth. I only saw her once in hospice, the night before she died. As you already know, this is going to be much harder on you than her, but it sounds like you have a strong support system. You are a good man John, it's a honor to know you.

With Valentine's Day coming up there will be lots of focus on romance and love, and most of them will focus on the young romance aspect. But your care and actions demonstrate a truly selfless love that has grown stronger over time and through the tribulations of life. This can't be easy, but you have been a wonderful role model to your family on how a man treats the woman he loves.

Thank you, she deserves the best. She is a wonderful lady.

What a demonstration of love, John

Thanks John for posting this. So glad we got to meet Esther a couple years ago on the bike ride. Such a good memory. You both are in our prayers.

I finally went through a big stack of paperwork that accumulated because at the time it came in I didn’t know how to deal with it. Most of it was explanation of benefits from medical bills that had been paid by my insurance. The total paid this year was over $300,000. Clear at the bottom of the stack I found an envelope with information about my wife’s second IRA. She told me she started a second IRA when she started working for a new company. Same location, same desk, same computers, doing the same job but working for a different company. Her IRA from the first company she used to pay off all her debts and it didn’t exist anymore. After she died our sons were here cleaning up and she had stacks of paperwork over by her bed. They gathered it all up and put it in the tote. I thought they were getting rid off too much stuff without looking at it first. They threw out her notebook with all her passwords in it. They cleaned out her purse and threw away her car keys. Anyhow I didn’t think I had any information on her new 401K. I’ve been waiting all year for them to send a statement. I figured at the end of the year they would have to send a statement. Anyhow that envelope I found had information on her new 401K and the PIN number to access her account. It had only been a few years since the new company took over so I didn’t expect there to be very much in it. She has over $36,000 in that account. They are sending me the forms I need to fill out to transfer it over to me.

I suspect it won't. We may get it under better control, but I doubt we'll eradicate it. It would be nice to meet someday.

Today was busy. When I changed her disposable bed pad yesterday I put three new pads down. She had diarrhea this morning and I was glad I had three pads under her. I had to change all the pads, top sheet and gown, wash her up after I cleaned her up, apply skin protectant on her lower region. She was doing fine, I fed her her breakfast and then had my breakfast. I just sat down to see what is happening on the forum. I read a few posts and them my wife said something just popped and scared me. It was something down by my crotch. I checked her and didn’t see anything but she was all wet. Sometimes for some reason she has leaks around her catheter. I like to use a wash basin with Olay body wash and a washcloth to get all the pee washed off so she doesn’t get skin burns. As I was applying skin protectant her catheter fell on the floor. That pop she heard was the balloon filled with saline that holds the catheter in place blew out. Never had that happen before. I had to call the weekend nurse to come change the catheter. She is all fixed up now and will probably sleep well tonight. My cat Oreo who always ran away from everyone but me liked the nurse. He was rubbing on her legs wanting attention. I’m glad his ears are healing up and not oozing anymore.

From what I see going on in the world I think I have a more normal life than a lot of people. My wife is doing much better. She still can’t sit up or stand but her pain is less. Her burn on her back is almost healed up. The expensive burn ointment the hospice nurses kept putting on her burn were not helping and I over ruled them and switched to triple antibiotic ointment. Every time I get stitched up from a bike crash or a skin cancer surgery that’s what they always tell me to use. After my wife had breakfast this morning she went to sleep. I put on a playlist of Beatles love songs and listened to it very quietly while I cleaned up the kitchen and made up some more hummingbird food. I came back in the living room and got on my iPad and checked the forum while still listening to love songs. My wife woke up and turned on XM channel on the TV. My music is better quality. I picked up my Bluetooth headphones and continued listening to Beatles. If she needs anything she will have to call me on the phone. My LBS called to tell me my bike is ready to go. I had them do a tune up on it even though it didn’t really need it. I don’t imagine I’ll get to ride it until either my wife gets a lot better or passes. I might order a new 520 if that happens. The new ones have disc brakes. I would get a dyno hub for lighting and charging devices this time. I think I will be ready for a road trip by then.

Keep fighting the good fight John. She sounds like a special lady and you're not too bad yourself. She's lucky to have you.

Thanks Keith, your prayers are appreciated. She still talks about that ride.