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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/08/2019 in all areas

  1. What was the worst job you ever had? What did you learn? mine was sitting on a spinach line. I used wooden tongs to fling out slimy spinach. It was summer on the humid eastern shore of Maryland. I had decided to drop out of college to date a boy back home. I spent my spring tuition money on stupid stuff. Told my parents I was dropping out and staying home. They got me this job almost immediately and a bill for room and board. I went back to college that fall. They gave me more money becAuse they saved what they charged me and matched it. I was so pissed at them at the time. They were right. I learned that I wasn't above any honest work. I learned that many people are very poor but still have faith and hope. I learned that everyone on the line preferred shucking oysters because it paid better if you were fast. I learned I did not want to fling spinach for 50 years.
    11 points
  2. My job was to clean up after the ladies who flung spinach.
    8 points
  3. Last Tuesday, a friend asked me to meet her for lunch at Red Robin. This friend is recent divorcee so this made me feel nervous and apprehensive. I showered with my new Dove extra fresh body wash that was part of my Christmas stocking from MomCheese. This left me feeling refreshed, invigorated, but sad that I would be paying for lunch at Red Robin instead of freeloading from Mom. It's was raining which seemed to heighten my pleasant lemon scented starched blue oxford. I wore Bass loafers with yellow socks which made me feel I was conveying an attitude of, shouldn't lunch be dutch? and I do not kiss on the first date. My friend had her hair in a layered bob haircut which eroused me somewhat but I found her skirt and blouse less conservative than I would prefer. Our waitress asked for our drink selections. I allowed my friend date to order first and she ordered the raspberry lemonade. This made me feel relieved and appreciative since I had noticed the placard advertising 99 cent all you can drink raspberry lemonade. I ordered Mr. Pibb but had to settle for Dr. Pepper since our nice waitress said Red Robin no longer carried Mr. Pibb. This left me frustrated and angry but I did my best to hide my emotions with pleasant small talk and banter. She ordered some type of pineapple burger medium well. I find this repulsive but I continued to smile as I listened intently trying to discern her intentions. I ordered the Banzai burger burnt beyond recognition. The food was delicious and the fries indeed were all you can eat which made me feel satisfied and thrifty. In the end I offered to buy lunch and she accepted. This made me feel both chivalrous and instantly regretful at the same time. The check arrived and I was relieved to exit for under 30 dollars including tip. I never figured out her reason for asking me to lunch. She initiated a peck on the cheek. I acquiesced which made me feel considerate and lukewarm like a Hallmark Christmas movie. The End
    7 points
  4. I was a kid working at a skeet range. My job was sitting on the ground in a low cinder block hut loading clay pigeons one at a time. The club had a tournament and a lot of alcohol was involved. I heard several shots hit the cinder block right behind me. After a few more pulls, the trap arm stopped swinging around. After about 5 minutes, the club president came out and started yelling me as to why I wasn't loading pigeons. I told him I was but it stopped working. Then the president reached to the back of the trap and moved the power cord. The arm swung and launched a pigeon right into his forehead. He finished his drink, jumped into his truck and drove to the hospital. I never did see him again because that drunken shoot was enough for me. Especially when I found out the wire for the trap was damaged by shot. Lesson 1. Guns and liquor don't mix. 2. If you're going to screw with wiring, maybe disconnect the wire first. 3. Don't face a loaded skeet trap at close range.
    6 points
  5. Well, the Chinese lunar rover must be operating in a different sound stage than the US landings were.
    5 points
  6. Your orders of overcooked burgers have inspired great disappointment in each other (plus the requisite self-loathing), and you consequently put each other in the 'holiday greeting card' zone right away. You need to take her out again and order her a cheeseburger, medium rare, with a runny egg on top, and a lusty alcohol-infused beverage to drink. Tell her that her eyes are not lifeless from her recent divorce, and there is a glimmer in there that only you can spark. Then tell her you are going to deliver a movie star kiss, and there is a distinct possibility she may melt somewhat. Explain that this often happens when vulnerable women kiss you. You have to deliver at this point, she has waited all her life for this moment with you.
    4 points
  7. There I said it. Sue me. Couch
    4 points
  8. Over 72 years I've had a number of "filler" jobs between other jobs, from busboy in a restaurant to caddie at a golf club. While some weren't "great", none were horrible to the point that I had to quit. Lesson: People do what they have to do in order to survive. You have to try selling major appliances as a commission salesperson to understand that.
    4 points
  9. I am quite simply incapable of achieving a camel toe.
    4 points
  10. For an obviously blind woman with poor taste, she is very pretty.
    4 points
  11. Corn detasseling. I learned that I hated detasseling corn.
    4 points
  12. I don't think I can move to the south, you people are odd.
    4 points
  13. I have a phone interview at 2:00
    3 points
  14. In college, I answered an ad which essentially turned out to be a fundraising scheme. Knock on doors, get folks to "donate" to a good cause, get paid a portion of the total raised over the daily quota. Basically take a bunch of college kids out into the suburbs to knock on doors. Yeah. That lasted one afternoon, and no, I didn't hit the quota. I'm not sure I even got one sucker to give anything. And, my biggest disappointment, no hot but bored housewives needing a little extra attention
    3 points
  15. I get eroused on the internet sometimes...
    3 points
  16. How did the waitress respond to the $1.27 tip on the the 28.72 bill? I would have gone with a yellow and sky blue argyle sock to show my devil may care attitude and to get my socks to match my shirt. The charred burger left me feeling disgusted, reviled and revolted. Everyone knows that a burger is medium to medium well, with American cheese, iceberg lettuce, diced purple onions, hamburger sliced dill pickles and a generous amount of Frenchs yellow mustard. I am still debating whether or not I can see past this and give your thread a like. Also, can you give us a few more physical descriptors of your "date" such as bust size? Asking for a friend.
    3 points
  17. As I read this as I got to the “picking rejected brats” I thought for sure you were going to say you drove a school bus.
    3 points
  18. When my wife passes the granddaughters they still yell out “you cheater”. Grandma laughs every time so they continue to do it. They do understand if grandma didn’t have the motor she would not be able to ride with us.
    3 points
  19. 3 points
  20. Probably because the stranded aliens on the dark side of the moon are scavenging parts from all previous lunar landings.
    3 points
  21. There have been some interesting goings on at the womaxx cafe. It's the season that we move the tables back toward the tree cover to try and let the yard recover from the constant deer walking. First we had a rare sighting of the owl that lives near here. It's a fuzzy pic because it was still moving when the camera tripped. Some of you may remember this bird from last years pics when I posted a view from the back. Last night I believe someone told this visitor that it was standing room only. This goes a long way to understanding why all the low hanging branches are bare.
    3 points
  22. My wife’s Hilltopper conversion you can ride without pedaling except on the steep hills you have to help because the motor doesn’t have gears. My wife will ride with me and the granddaughters and when she has had enough (usually we are already heading back) she stops pedaling and uses the motor to return. It works out great because she would not be able to ride with us without it.
    3 points
  23. It is good to realize that bullies need pushback.
    3 points
  24. She thinks I am fantastic (I have succeeded in pulling the wool over her eyes) Down 6 pounds since my October visit..good (but I need to do more)...My BP was 132 over 64 and she would like that better too..A1C was a little lower as well. She is very happy with everything I am doing...I asked a couple food/diet questions...and I gave her a copy of my workout and my trainers card. Oh yeah..I got shot #1 of the shingle shot too.
    2 points
  25. My son came home from his first day back at school since winter vacation. I ask him how it went like always and like normal I got nothing great... It was ok as an answer. Knowing something went on ('cause my wife got a call from the principal) I try to bring out the talk without becoming mad and irritated. Well it took a while but I still got nothing.. anywho the principal said there was an altercation where my son hit another student. My first question was "did the other kid deserve it" My son is not one for violence. He is a cuddle bear that cries at the drop of a hat. So whatever went on.. that kid provoked my son, but everyone is blaming my son so they don't get in trouble also. The story I heard from the school went like this: My kid said something the other kid said something, my son said something else while a third kid pushed first said kid and first said kid said something then my son hit first or third kid.. I don't know... All I know is my kid threw first punch and got punched by some kid. About 4 hours after school and this call from my wife I hear the real-ish story of my sons side because he was so upset. Guess first kid was egging my son on about being a pussy and not good at something, my son spoke up, kid pushed his luck a little harder and got punched by my son. Another kid came in and pushed the kid that got hit as his back was turned towards my son, kid who got punched hit my son. Welp.. I wrote a letter to the principal stating what my son said and to question him again tomorrow, I don't care the punishment for him because he deserves it for throwing a punch. I also told my son he deals with whatever is given to him, and after all this bullshit I am going to teach him how to punch and lay out a smart talker out so they hit the ground and can't punch back. This is the 4th time he has been bullied this year by classmates. The principal knows what's going on and knows I do not like anything that was going on.
    2 points
  26. I was updating a document and remembered to change the copyright to 2019!! And it's only January 7!
    2 points
  27. I am waiting for shootingstar's response.
    2 points
  28. Don't take this wrong, but I call dibs on your stuff. Bite me @Kzoo! Oh, and I hope you start feeling better soon.
    2 points
  29. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/chinese-lunar-rover-finds-no-evidence-of-american-moon-landings/ You can always tell the reputable sites by the adds for other stories at the bottom of the page.
    2 points
  30. 23%. I considered this overly generous and thoughtful considering she had defiled her body with a tattoo. No love in the air. Perhaps deep mutual appreciation for nice hairstyles but I feel beholding to Kirby until she informs me otherwise.
    2 points
  31. We landed on the front side, they landed on the backside. Without an atmosphere, there is considerable erosion from micro-meteorites. You could find something, but you'd have to go there and prob do some digging. Having said that, World Nuts Daily???
    2 points
  32. 2 points
  33. Semi scalped ? NYC is a tough hood.
    2 points
  34. TIDE! Gonna be 60 minutes (at least) of football.
    2 points
  35. Here is a rather large bear that went vegan: Note the lack of discernible muscle tone and the lost ability to move. It would be no challenge at all for Parr8 to hit that, no challenge at all. This is a warning to all thinking of going on this dangerous fad diet. You can almost hear the plaintive moan coming from this emaciated animal's damaged psyche. A truer cry for help has not been heard.
    2 points
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