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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/01/2019 in all areas

  1. I did not have bad parents, I did not have good parents. I had people that were more like roommates. No guidance, no instruction, no punishment. It made growing up hard. About 5 or 7 year ago my mother in law was staying here. My wife and her were talking about my wife contemplating a new career. Her mom said she loved her, she was a wonderful person, a success, and whatever she did, and no matter what she decided, she'd land on her feet. I NEVER heard any such words in my life, I didn't know parents talked to their kids like that. I remembered back to the time I was doing construction and told my parents I wanted to go to college, they said what would you want to do that for? A simple of example of not good or bad - this was what my whole upbringing was like. Rarely a word of encouragement. When I was in my early 20s, my biologic dad owned property in a nice (wealthy) town. They told me there were going to double the size of an antique carriage house, and sell that with the barn and a few acres behind their house. I assumed it was because they needed the money. I agreed to do the job, it was about a summer. Some of the finest work I had ever done, it was featured in Better Homes and Gardens (sadly I do not have a copy). Again, this was over 30 years ago. I charged them 3,000 for the summer, I felt bad taking money from family, but it was a lot of driving, and I had to hire a guy to help with some of the heavier timbers. If I had done the work for strangers, even back then I would have charged at least 20k, probably 30. When I was just about finished he told me he and his wife were divorcing, and they were selling both properties. I never learned how much, but I'm sure both were in the millions. I felt so used. So at the party two weeks ago, my biologic dad didn't come, he also hasn't met his 19 year old granddaughter. That hurt a little, but I'm used to it. My 98 year old grandfather (who live with my dad) needed to leave as it was getting to be a lot for him. Understood. I was just about to play with the band and my mother told me she was leaving because it was too hot. I asked her (begged) to go in the house and cool off. My bedroom has a couch, I suggested she go up there for a while, cool off and then watch me play. She's never seen me play as I've never joined a band (except one about 30 years ago and we only played out once). I told her it really hurt that none of my parents would see me and that this was likely the last time I would ever do something like this, she said she really needed to go. I was hurt. When I bought my new car, I was going to trade in my old one. They offered 7k, I bet I could have sold it for closer to 10, but I didn't want the hassle. I then learned her car was not doing well, so I offered to give her mine. That added over 100 to my monthly payment, she didn't know that. I called her a few times after I gave it to her to she how she liked it, it was a 5 year old fully loaded Camry in really nice shape, nearly new. All I got were complaints. It's too low to the ground, there are too many features, it's hard to figure out... I can't tell you how mad that made me. I wanted to say give it back. This has been my whole life, then I married an alcoholic. That was fun. I let things like this get to me with my family, it makes me feel like a victim. I should have seen the car thing coming, but even if I did, I likely would have done it anyhow. Not looking for advice, just venting a bit. I'm still hurt, but it's getting better. I took so much of my anger over the past two weeks out on the most wonderful person in my life, my wife. She knew what was going on and just rode it out. I love her so much.
    8 points
  2. I was riding the fat bike around town on a couple of errands which I typically do, and stopped at a local restaurant for a couple of beers which I typically do. In walks BCC and her mom for dinner so I ate dinner w/ them the end.
    8 points
  3. I have a key for the corner bar 3 blocks away so I will have a endless suply of Jim Beem and beef jurkey. I'll be fine.
    8 points
  4. Sam and I have prepared day rations for 6 months in case the hippies take over. Here is an example.
    6 points
  5. Wedding was perfect, especially now that it is over. Now married and no intent of living in my basement.
    5 points
  6. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. No matter how grown up we get, we still want our parents to be there for us, and it can be hard to accept their limitations. But it really makes everything you've accomplished even more impressive. I hope you can take pride in how much you've accomplished and that you did it in your own. You've also managed to overcome all that to marry a wonderful and supportive woman. Their limitations speak to them and say nothing about the kind of person you are. The problem with being a generous, kind hearted person is that sometimes people will take advantage. It hurts even more when those people are the ones who are supposed to help you. But it's better to have a few people take advantage than to become the sort of person who is unwilling to help or is always on guard. Becoming that sort of person would prevent you from opening up to the good people who treat you well, as you deserve.
    5 points
  7. I’ll be riding. Should I only use one gear and maybe set my brake calipers to rub the rims?
    5 points
  8. In the end, it wasn't really as many of the outlaws as I thought and turned out to be a number of old friends. So it was the day for fair food from the fryer. Corn dogs, onion rings, chicken, sweet potato chips, tater tots with bacon. Then I added burgers from the grill, someone brought chili with tomato peppers. There were various dips and chips and death by chocolate for desert. All in all a fine Labor Day party.
    4 points
  9. My SIL had four kids from four donors. A donor kept one, two were adopted out and my SIL kept one. Growing up, he was her source of revenue and would take him out, throw him in dumpsters behind pharmacies and he would have to collect all the meds he could and she would either take them or sell them on the streets. This is after her two year prison term for writing false prescriptions on pads she would steal from doctors offices. She dropped the kid off at our house for a play date and maybe pick him up 2-4 months later. Tkid was in 6 group homes before my SIL stole him from one and went on a 3 year road trip of homelessness and minor crimes. We took him in at the age of nine and enrolled him in school. I caught him pushing my 4 year old daughter down the stairs one day and that started an event he claims changed his life. I grabbed him by the throat and lifted him off the ground and threatened to end his miserable little life if he ever touched one of the girls again. He was so scared, he actually did crap his pants. I later apologized to him and we built a basement bedroom and washroom for him. He stayed with us to 14 years of age when his mother stole him again and went on another road trip. At 16, he ran away, found his biological father and stayed with him in Northern Ontario until he finished school. He now lives on his own in Winnipeg, works in a body shop, bought his own house, stays well clear of any drugs or alcohol, cooks and bakes for a shelter in his spare time and has no contact with his mother. He and I talk a few times a week and he has thanked me many times for turning his life around. No, that doesn't excuse my grabbing him by the throat but a time-out wasn't going to fix his behavioural issues. He too, has moved on from victimhood.
    4 points
  10. I have been a loyal SW forumite for 6 years and you've never bought me a car.
    4 points
  11. Had my first ever sfogliatelle from an authentic Eyetalian bakery - as good as it looks, but also as messy to eat as it looks! The seats in the Civic are a mess now!
    4 points
  12. I don't know about that, there are short straws in life that are randomly distributed. Some pull the short straw more than others. You cannot choose your parents, or genetic problems that surface early or late. There are lots of human (or subhuman) moving pieces all around you that suck you into their vortex of ruination as well. Some victimization is self-inflicted. Sometimes you are the ruination vortex for others (I try not to be). The best we can do with this is to learn from situations and try to make better choices, and to reframe thoughts into a positive as best we can. I have great parents, and I never felt worried in life until the last bunch of years. Even then, I compartmentalize better than most people. That said, I still feel (from time to time) trapped, fucked over, victimized, and more than a bit abused by circumstance. Then I smack myself in full realization that many people really have it much worse than I do in many areas, get over my own little pity party and divert myself and try to sleep more. and do a bit better Anyway, don't go all nuts and think you are the root of all the bad things that have happened to you. Life is at least half chance, have a good attitude when you can, and stop kicking the shit out of yourself. You are better than that, and you have risen above your circumstance before and you will again. Plus, everybody here does love you, no matter how much shit we give you.
    4 points
  13. I dedicate tomorrow to her. Will you join me?
    4 points
  14. Don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and don't mess around with JIm?
    4 points
  15. I was in our local bakery (I believe the owners are Hungarian) and a woman and her husband were looking at the sfogliatelle. Apparently his diet allowed for only a specified number of treats like that each month, and it was his day for a treat. He ordered one, and was so eager that he ate it standing up in the bakery as soon as he was handed the sfogliatelle. With that testimonial, I bought some and brought them down to my Mom and sisters who enjoyed them, but not as much as the man in the bakery.
    4 points
  16. On my way to yoga. Just sat in the greenhouse for a while with my wife. Beautiful morning, low 50s.
    4 points
  17. I hav half a shitload of beer in the basement and plenty of terlet pqper.
    4 points
  18. People do tend to flee when I show up.
    4 points
  19. I can definitely feel a change in the air! Plus I got an apple cider donut today!!
    4 points
  20. They used to suggest to me that I throw the shoes away and wear the boxes.
    3 points
  21. I don't think he's a victim, even though he's stating so. I think he's venting, and he really should in this case. His parents were shitty towards him, he wants to talk about it and he has an audience here that cares about subjects like this. SW has been extremely successful in career and relationships; contrary to what he might say. He's essentially AWWC's big brother and he guides AWWC via series of electric shocks and SW cares enough about AWWC via spying on AWWC through Cheese's webcam. That's true love if you ask me. SW also has a great relationship with his current wife -- that's pretty awesome and a hard thing to accomplish. SW did nothing wrong.
    3 points
  22. That was you? I was just there 4 hours ago off a red eye from YVR.
    3 points
  23. Square Wheels Cycling would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. Cicada (46)
    3 points
  24. No idea. All mountain miles. My foot has bothered me all summer, I am in PT now and riding as much as I can. Lost power for a few rides. Devices were dead for a few rides. I will sum it up in bullet points: Rode Bandon, Oregon Whiskey Run trails Rode Alsea Falls, near Siuslaw Forest Rode Spence mountain, numerous times camped there 2 times. Once was at a trail build camp. Rode Brown Mountain, and Rye Spur mountain above Fourmile lake Poached a wilderness trail. not telling where, ? Rode the Redmond pump track, and Bend trails by Wanoga ski park and Bachelor. Rode Alpine trail and Tire mountain in Oakridge. Rode Moon Point off the Middle Fork of the Willamette Rode Middle Fork and sections of Salmon Creek. Rode Dead Mountain near Oakridge. Rode The trails near Timapanogas Lake, in the mountains between Umpqua and Oakridge Road Toads Wild Ride in Tahoe. Very difficult ass kicker Road Downieville, CA DH run, twice. Fun each time. It was like 4000+ Road some Forest area near Tahoe. Don;t even remember the name, near West shore and Desolation Wilderness. Road Waldo Lake, and the loops around all some of the little mini lakes near it. Crashed at least 10 times this summer. No major injuries. Have a hematoma, on my shin, that has not healed for two months. Got one patch of poison oak on my arm. One rash from my knee pads and too many scabs to mention. 70+ mosquito bites. Wore a hole in the ass of my baggy shorts. Literally wore the fabric into a vapor. LOL I have a mega amount of pics. hopefully I can pull some up for you. Some were corrupted on my Go pro.
    3 points
  25. Well, I'm an alcoholic. I'm not married to myself but trust me I'm no walk in the park. I'm sorry you have shitty family dude. Honestly, I'm really impressed how well you turned out; it's a testament of your fortitude. Statistically speaking, you should either be a serial killer or politician by now.
    3 points
  26. You don't get to pick your family. This is why I am surrounded with nice friends. My family had it's share of fun times with our abusive alcoholic Parental figure. Aka: My step Grandfather. Luckily, I never got abused by him. I was only abused by my Mother (psychological). and Grandmother (psychological and physical). My Grandfather was mean, but I was not his "blood," so he didn't bother with me all too much. He provided food and shelter, that was all. My husband, of 23 years, and I live in Oregon for a reason. Our family lives in a different state.
    3 points
  27. Family is a biological title not a certificate of excellence. All we can really control is that we do better than they did. You are right, knowing it is the first step to handling it but it can still hurt like hell.
    3 points
  28. It does, but it's almost made me stronger. One thing I am certain of, being a victim is a choice, that is 100% on me.
    3 points
  29. You should always start a thread. Best case it helps. Worst case you get grief from those of us here that love you.
    3 points
  30. I rarely ride now. Maybe tomorrow, but it might rain. I just lost my passion for it. Like all things in life, this is temporary. I will ride again.
    3 points
  31. Thank you for wearing socks.
    3 points
  32. That sure looks like a “which one of these things is snot like the other” exercises!
    3 points
  33. Don’t piss into the wind. No wait, I already knew that. I’m thinking...
    3 points
  34. We live on the west coast where they preach us to be able to get by for up to four days on our own in the event of a major earthquake. We have water at home and I live near the office with a fully stocked earthquake cabinet. We also have camp stoves and camp food at the house so we will be good
    3 points
  35. Why did it take me this long to see the connection here? And we have never seen a picture of them together...... Jim has a bit of splainin to do, no?
    3 points
  36. Agreed. And Jim doesn’t show up here often on the eve of the biggest storms. Coincidence, I think not m
    3 points
  37. You need to get up pretty early to get a bar stool here in Wisconsin. My Saturday story. Today we drove up to Mount Horeb to buy me a pair of boots from Duluth Trading. This made me glad. And they were on clearance and I saved $70. This made me happy. So we stopped in New Glarus for lunch but all our favorite pubs had lines out the doors. This made me disappointed. So we went to New Glarus Motel/Restaurant for some Wienerschnitzel and Spotted Cow. This made me hopeful. The huge meal made me feel sleepy and lazy. And we still had an hour and a half to drive home. This made me almost ask the Mrs if she wanted to drive. But then I remembered we were driving with the top down in the Miata. This made me feel exhilarated again. The end.
    3 points
  38. Don't let him entice you into the shelter...
    2 points
  39. Even Carl had wifi in his cardboard box under the bridge. RIP, Carl. Cheese will post.
    2 points
  40. Wow, this is all true! We love to give you crap because we love you! If we didn't, we would just ignore you. Plus, everybody IS a victim at one thing or another on a daily basis. You will feel better if you go over to Speed Demon and make her feel like she isn't a victim, a good deed always feels good. Then you should bang her.
    2 points
  41. I like this part better than the first sentence. Take the laundry off the bike before you ride again!
    2 points
  42. Sure! Holidays used to be longish ride days for me back when I road a bike more, so that sounds good!
    2 points
  43. Good friend taking the boys bass fishing. Watching them rig their poles and prep the boat.
    2 points
  44. Football, pumpkin spice, perfect temps, a holiday, leaves starting to change. What’s not to like?
    2 points
  45. I don't know about "unconventional", but Jim and I played trumpet in high school band. He went on to become a MAJOR figure in Microsoft responsible for many of their products but after recovering from cancer went back to his first love...music. He also writes his own songs.
    2 points
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