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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/20/2019 in all areas
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RG goes into the doctor for his annual exam. Not to far into the exam the doc gets a concerned look on his face and tells RG he really needs to stop masturbating. RG reply's "WHY!?" "Because I am trying to examine you!" replies the doctor.9 points
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RG went to the doctor today. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." RG walked out, waited a few minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?' "There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it..."7 points
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A very badly beaten up RG came to hospital. Doctor asked what the hell had happened to him. RG: "I was banging my neighbor over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open." She said:" It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!". RG: "Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day."6 points
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After his accident, RG woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over him. She said, “You may not feel anything from the waist down.” “Fair enough,” he replied, and squeezed her boobs.6 points
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Ironically, a few days after Airehead’s post, I’m at the surgery center; my wife is having her right knee scoped. She tore the meniscus last month. The receptionist referred to me as the “responsible” driver. I pointed that out to my wife. She replied that the receptionist is paid to tell people that and she really didn’t mean it. ?5 points
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5 points
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4 points
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RG walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."4 points
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Update: patient is fine. Surgery Center was excellent. In and out in no time with the knee scoped and stitched. She didn’t want the narcotics so we picked up Tylenol and aspirin. She is resting comfortably at home. Much better than a hospital visit and all those sick people.4 points
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I've gotten 7 inches in 30 seconds on many occasions.4 points
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4 points
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OK I have to be the one to tell you. As RG jokes go in this thread, yours is just a bit weak. OK, real weak. OK, truth? it was lame. Sort'a funny but lame by 2Far standards. Please try again.3 points
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3 points
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3 points
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3 points
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3 points
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Our CEO is non technical. Does not like to read stuff off a screen. Everything must be printed and as a result, he constantly has stacks of paper, unorganized, all around him. He took a long lunch with our IT intern and when he got back, he walked in my office to tell me he could not find the scripts for our video. Said when he left, he had three stacks of paper to his right in the conference room. issuance documents, a contract and the scripts. I walked in the conference room and asked him what the stack of papers to his LEFT was. Lo and behold, it was the missing scripts. This is why I make the big bucks.3 points
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While I lurk in the shadows here, I also do a lot of fishing with the kayak. I got to thinking about why I can not find the lures in the colors I really want... Welp.. a few blank plastics and a few colors of my favorite rattle can, and I can get what I want. I never thought my misspent youth of tagging trains, and buildings would come in so handy when I was older. Two of these are ready to throw on Saturday for the bass tournament once they are fully dry. Bass camo Bluegill bass And not sure what I want to call it. I did however toss my work up on a local site, and some guy on the Texas/Mexico boarder that has a YouTube channel has contracted me to make him up about 20 lures for his show. Says he will be doing a giveaway and passing them off to his viewers. I gave him a price and he excepted which should net me about $100 for doing something I like after material costs... If he passes my name along, and I get a bunch of orders in... Who knows where this could lead.. maybe retirement and a job I actually like.3 points
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3 points
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Hmmmm. I missed this and I in my own way ventured away as well. @Thaddeus Kosciuszko, I got to know you over the course of your tenure in the forums and was fortunate enough to get to meet you and spend a week with you riding on the C&O. I can honestly say that you could not be a more gracious person; one whom I am honored to call friend. I hope you make your way back and I will reach out to you privately as well. Peace.3 points
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3 points
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3 points
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2 points
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My neighbor purchased a pie ready to bake and we split a 1/2 peck of "seconds"..which means we each got about 10 small to medium size apples. 80 degrees and humid..It does not feel like mid September.2 points
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2 points
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After the exam, the doctor said while exiting the exam room, "RG, you will need to leave a stool, semen and urine sample." RG looks at the nurse and says, "What did he say?" The nurse said "He says you have to leave your underwear."2 points
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2 points
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2 points
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2 points
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Here's a pic of Toby and AA from June when they were the same size. And here's a pic of AA (Rudy) this morning hogging the ottoman2 points
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Hope it clears quickly and doesn't interfere with flying. Now go wash your keyboard before posting to us again.2 points
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How is that guy that old? You would think stupidity of that level would be fatal earlier in life.2 points
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Dunno, it was a 1 point game two years ago & GA ended up at the Natty. It is a home game for GA and most stores in the area have removed Irish Spring from the shelves. LOL2 points
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2 points
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2 points
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@shootingstar Case in point. A thread devoted to sexy costume with a few sex worker shaming comments, but no sanctuary here for a thread about programs to benefit single moms because it would be too political.2 points
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2 points
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Only two likes? Vase-ectomy. The process of having your vases removed. Vase-ectomy. It's no fun if you have to explain them.2 points
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I am glad you clarified that @RalphWaldoMooseworth. For a moment I thought you moved next door to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. In Washington D.C.2 points
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I have the same deal with the bigass orange neighbor's kat! I'll have to see if his image can be captured.2 points
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2 points
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Whatchu talkin bout Willis!?!? I have an 8 weight that I fish for bass with a floating line & topwaters. I also have a 325 grain sinking line I take into the salt for spotted bay bass, calico bass & croaker. Muscling a weighted line and weighted fly on an 8 wt ain’t no fancy gymnastic dance son.2 points
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According to the ad, I need to switch to hydrogen infused water if I want to get down to fighting weight.2 points
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2 points
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I am more aroused by the pics on the left than the one on the right.2 points
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FTR, as a teenager I swore I’d never go in the military. I could have never seen myself in a regimented, warrior role. But, it was an end to a means when I had some decisions to make. And it was the time of my life when I was proving I was a ‘man’. I did gain a lot while serving and I look back fondly on those years. The skill set I developed; the self reliance I learned and the confidence that ensued are irreplaceable.2 points
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I feel that I'm a bit of an uninspired frog reading this thread, but I don't think I ever had "career goals". Most of my grandparents were immigrants to the US and my parents were raised with a lot of that immigrant mentality. When my parents talked to us about jobs, it wasn't about finding jobs that fulfilled you, it was about finding steady employment that would make sure you could pay the rent and put food on the table. When I was in high school, my Dad's company was having layoffs. There was a very real chance he could lose the job he'd held his entire life, and given his line of work, it would have been hard to find a comparable job at the time. While I'm sure I didn't understand all the pressure he felt, the fear of losing a job and not knowing where the next paycheck would come from, definitely made an impression on me. I wanted to find a job that was more in line with my strengths and interests (I never liked the sciences) , but I mainly wanted a job that I didn't hate and that would give me marketable skills . Working with mostly nice people went a long way to my not hating a job. Even on the days that work makes me feel stressed or unhappy, I try to remember that the job also frees me up from a lot of worse worries - like worrying about not being able to afford medical care or utilities. I probably would have a different sense of my life's purpose if I had kids and felt responsible for someone else. As it is, I'm mostly happy if nothing awful happens during the day, I have a little time to read or relax, and I can do some little things to make someone else's day better. So maybe what's held me back from doing anything grand is my belief that "good enough" is actually pretty good.2 points
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2 points
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I bought some tea at the health food store called “Smooth Move”. I thought it would be gentle, it wasn’t. I think it was made with henna or some such thing. I might still have it minus one teabag if anyone wants to try it.2 points