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Not me...but there is this guy on the roof whose dick is a little sore from jamming with his zipper

Guy came into the store today. Double parked his Beemer across two handicap spots. You know the sort. He had some shoes with a broken buckle. Most common buckle on the market. Been that way for over a decade. Had a box full of them, but I also had some new shoes that I really needed to move. So I grabbed a really old buckle off the bottom shelf and told the guy this was as close as I was gonna get, old buckle, not available, blah blah. Buuuuutttt, I do have these.... only $400. Told him lots of guys in Europe used this shoe. Told him it was the BMW of cycling shoes. He pulled out his Black Amex and let with a smirk on his face and a $300 pair of shoes.

One other thing: Today my wife came home from the stent surgery; and this is what greeted her. The faith, prayers, and love of staff, students, parents of her school. This is one picture of a panorama of what is probably a hundred feet long. I sobbed just seeing it. It came just when she needed it most.

Update: The surgery went successfully. The stent has been placed; it will allow better flow of bile and blood between the liver and other areas, keeping these from backing up into the liver and causing damage, and hopefully bringing liver enzymes down. It took much longer than expected, but the initial objectives went as well as we can expect. Tests will be done on Friday to see if levels are becoming more normal. If they are within a reasonable range, we will be on for the clinical trial. Even if we aren't selected for the regimen in the trial we want, there are improvements to care when under the study. So, there are a number of dominoes we'd like to fall into place. A hundred miles an hour; an inch at a time.

Not because of COVID19. Rather due to the large number of gnats and dust from farmers harvesting their crops. I averaged over 16 mph for 30 miles which is pretty good for this old guy. So I don't think it restricted breathing much. Probably less than choking down bugs. I came within 3 feet of hitting a deer that came running out of the woods, but I don't think the mask had anything to do with that.

Left with $400 shoes.

Monday afternoon I started ordering my new bike. The frame, travel case, wheels, seatpost, and handlebars arrived from Richey today. Saddle and disk brakes are enroute. Going to order the drivetrain from the LBS, I think.

Year ago, running to catch the commuter bus (30 min between departures), I made a dash for it from the Metro entrance through a short cut. My jump over the curb also happened to bring my noggin up to crossbeam level, so I avoided the curb, but gave myself a mild concussion (maybe?) when my forehead whacked the bar. I luckily found myself on the sidewalk in one piece, groggily wandered to the bus, and sat another 5 minutes before we left.

Ya know, some people have a face made for a mask.... Looking good Jerry

She got a job doing similar work at her last job for a National medical products firm. Job is remote for first few months and then will be working a few miles from me. A little farther commute than before but not a bad commute. The company was actually a client of mine back in the day. Starts end of Oct. with same pay as before. She got laid off in early April so this was a looong break for her.

Online dating. I mean, it seemed fun for a little while, but I think what took all the joy out of it was all the complaints from my wife.

Older, shit I have been doing that my whole life. My kids always tell me.. We’ve heard this one dad....

Cable guys, like dogs, are very territorial. Did you have any other cable companies up there lately? If so, he was just marking his territory. I believe it may be a company policy even.

I need more time to make a list but most of them involve motorcycles

What are you going to wear on the other foot?

do you find yourself beginning to repeat your best stories? I do. But fortunately I'm on a forum with some other older people who forget they've heard my stories almost as fast as I forget I've told them.

..maintenance sent me to the roof to get the AT&T wireless upgrade people to move their truck and trailer..which was blocking our loading dock..got the the 7th floor..they had the stairwell door propped open...And the roof door propped open at the hinge..no one near the door..look out and there is this guy peeing in the corner by the boiler room...Boy oh Boy..I got to RIP into 3 guys....they came down and really apologized to our head of maintenance...I think I skeered the hell out of them...I am surprised the guys sitting down in the atrium didnt here me.

Repeat? No. I make up better stories.

You'll find something else to bitch about. I don't like your divers flag. It needs more water around it.

The summer I turned 15 we were at a family picnic in a park. There is a large field that was the shared outfields from 3 different ball diamonds. And around those is a drive with picnic pavilions on the outside. At this family picnic were 2 friends of mine that I played junior high football with the previous fall. One was a QB, one was a defensive back, and I was a wide receiver. It made a great setup to throw the football around before we eat. It was a great time. We were called in to eat so we gobbled down some hotdogs and left to go back and throw the football some more. The QB had the ball in his hands and I challenged the DB to cover me as we crossed the drive around the field. That is the last thing I remember. From here on out the story was told to me. I crossed the road at speed looking over my should for the pass. I caught the ball over my right shoulder and immediately tried to take down a telephone pole with the left side of my face. (It was reported and confirmed that I held on o the ball - the important part). I came to just enough to see some guy with a strange hat on looking down at me (local fireman in the back of the ambulance on the way to the ER). I was out again until they were taking me out of the ambulance and wheeling me into the ER. I was awake just enough to remember the outside of the hospital. The next time I woke up was the middle of the night in my hospital bed - at least that's what I remember. Yeah that was stupid to try to move the unseen telephone pole with my face. BUT what really upset me was the aftermath. I had played 4 years of little league baseball ad I was in my 3rd year of Senior League and I had to miss the next game. That was the first time in 7 years of baseball that I missed playing a single inning. I played 8 years of LL/SL and 3 years of varsity ball and those 9 innings were the only innings that I was not on the field.

Time for my quarterly labs so I chug a bunch of water before going to bed. Be hydrated they always say. This made me feel prepared. I wake up at around 3 AM and have to pee really bad and figure I’ll have to go again before 7 am so I’ll go. This made me feel relieved but I chug more water just in case and I go back to sleep. I wake up at 6:00, lab opens at 7 so I get dressed and as I’m ready to go I think, damn I need to go #2 but I can’t go #2 without going #1. Fuck it I’ll hold it, don’t want to wait in the lobby trying to go pee. This made me feel confident in my choices. Now I go to this lab for many reasons, primarily is they don’t take reservations, first come first serve and they open at 7. They are also never busy... I get there at 6:55 am and there is 4 people waiting at the door. At 7 the guy opens the door and he is by himself. This made me feel concerned I may both pee & shit myself... I sit very uncomfortably in the lobby for an hour until he calls me up. I’m standing at the counter crossed legged doing the pee pee dance. This made me feel relieved I was next but anxious as standing made everything worse. I ask the guy if I can do my urine sample, like right now and he sees my plight so quickly fills out the sticker & gives me the cup. I fill the cup and then relieve myself #1 but... I still have to go # 2 really bad. Should I just go here? Nah I don’t want to stink the place up. I decide to wait for #2. This made me feel partially relieved and considerate to others. Now I am a light weight with blood draws and often get woozy. I tell the guy this so he has me lie down. As he’s setting up I start to thinking, what if its a bad stick, I pass out and shit myself!?!?!? This made me feel anxious and made me focus on not passing out. I talked the guys ear off about the Lakers, Dodgers, the weather, I was basically a motor mouth for the blood draw. When he finished and I was conscious and hadn’t shit myself I felt victorious. Sir do you want to lie hear for a minute and....No I’m good see ya!! & out the door I went! I found a bathroom in the lobby area of the building and went #2. Finally blessed relief.

Too many to list. Most of mine revolved around my time working the boat dock. Concussion and head wound, lost front tooth. Massive bruise / hematoma to thigh. Probably the dumbest was when I was kid. I was a spaz. My poor mom. Anyway, was driving her crazy one day and she had had enough. I was in my room and standing on my head on my bed and somehow fell off and got stuck head down between the wall and bed. Could not get out so started screaming for mom. She came in and grabbed my ankles and pulled me out. My armpit caught on part of the bed frame and got ripped open. So off to see Dr. Roundtree to get stitched up. He sewed me up a lot when I was kid. Armpit, finger, knee, head, chin, eyebrow that I can recall.

Hey, I assume your shower was really their first choice, but did you even OFFER it to them as one???

I have the neck buff I pull up over my mouth and nose on super cold days, so that would work to keep bugs out, but I never thought of that either. I'm definitely a mouth breather - especially during exercise - so I find gnats to be particularly bothersome but am used to them by now. Here's my early "buff" plus filter set-up from back in March.

Today we bought a new washing machine and dryer LG that is highly rated by Consumer Reports. Our last two have been from the Facebook garage sale page for our neighborhood, so first new washer in years. Supposed to have WIFI, but not sure what that even means. https://www.lg.com/us/washers/lg-WT7800CV-top-load-washer https://www.lg.com/us/dryers/lg-DLEX7800VE-electric-dryer Washer Delivers tomorrow. Dryer comes in next week.

I found this on Facebook, a pie making group I belong to. The crust is gluten free and it’s not animal meat, it’s French Canadians so you should be ok there too. I can get the recipe but I’m not sure where to get French Canadians

If you get and wear elf boots, a 2020, trend, I still would not buy a pointy bra.

Prying stuck extension cords apart with a pocket knife.

As long as they don't forget the chocolates on you pillow during turndown service!

Running, it’s still evil.

Swimming for exercise is not everyone's thing. Swimming for the fun of it is totally different. Swimming in the ocean and riding waves is super fun. Swimming around in a pool and playing Marco Polo is fun. Or using a rope swing to launch yourself out over a swimming hole and then swimming back to sure is a blast. Swimming while SCUBA diving or snorkeling opens up a whole world of adventure that can't be over-hyped. But, yeah, some folks aren't "swimmers".

If only you had a box and your lab was in a Meijer store.

Yes and yes

Did she call the paramedics or keep running? Maybe tried mouth-to-mouth "just in case"

Turning my head to look at a runner that unexpectedly spoke to me as I rode past her. Dropped off a high berm and broke a rib and separated my shoulder.

nice boat, but I buy my yachts on craigslist

Walk about 900 miles per year. Drink about 22 gallons per year at the 19th hole Conclusion. The average golfer gets about 41 miles per gallon.

The only bright spot I can see in his situation is he made it home and is not stuck in China.

WOChrisL is dog sitting today as my daughter & SIL are having work done on their house... Smokey has never once even tried this when mom is around.... No mom, no rules! I’m sure gramma got him off the table tho.

I still have these. Of course, they haven't seen my feet in awhile, but they are durable.

Remember, you wear the mask to protect the deer, not yourself (although it will offer some level of protection for you).

Courtesy of my wife.

I refuse to watch My wife is watching politics all day every day, and all it does is piss her off. She may be needing a place to live soon

Thanks everyone. There are some beautiful (and some funny) pics in this thread. We need to get permission to go back into the office to retrieve items. There are a few items I want. If I go in, I'm planning to take a picture of my boss's office so that I can use that

Nothing wrong with that.

I always enjoy these. Thank you. I

That is more expensive than my oven.

Grandchildren can do anything.

These are all images I've taken. Feel free to use them.