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Square Wheels

domestique
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Blog Comments posted by Square Wheels

    Longjohn

    Posted

    This is impossible to deal with during normal times, during these historical times when you can't have friends and family over to help, it must feel unbearable.  As for her plans, did you ever discuss hospice care, outside of the house?  I had a friend whose husband tried to care for her in their home.  She had planned to die at home, but he became overwhelmed and she was moved.  I think they were both better off for it.  My grandfather took care of my grandmother.  He was in his 80s at that time (he's 99 now).  I visited at least once a month.  It was not good for either of them. 

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    Longjohn

    Posted

    You are one of the kindest people I've never met.

    My Grandmother had MS and was bedridden.  Then she developed dementia.  My Grandfather took care of her on his own.  They had an aid and nurse come on some days, but the burden fell mostly to him.  He refused to put her in a home.  She died at home about 15 years ago, he's going to be 99 in a couple of months.

    I had a friend, only 37, who had planned to die at home.  It got to be too much for her husband, so they last few days were spent in a hospice  They stopped feeding her and giving her IVs, only oral, liquid pain meds they squirt in her mouth.  I only saw her once in hospice, the night before she died.

    As you already know, this is going to be much harder on you than her, but it sounds like you have a strong support system.

    You are a good man John, it's a honor to know you.

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