You've gotten some good advice here and I wouldn't suggest changing that. What I might suggest, if you are still concerned about the bio when you are done banging on it, is to convince your employer to send it through a PR firm. They are asking you to represent them. They should be able to spend a couple hundred getting pro advice. That advice might include creating a couple different versions of the bio. Your bio for a local in person event might be different from a local on-line event and those different from a national event. The attendees all care about different things.