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Couch_Incident

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Couch_Incident last won the day on August 28 2018

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About Couch_Incident

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  1. Couch_Incident

    Angry Fish Tank Guy.

    Original ad: 55 gallon tank great condition.no scratches. comes with filter. $125. 484-***-****. CALL ME ONLY - NO EMAILS. 484-***-**** From Me to Felix *********: Hey, That fish tank is beautiful. I must have it! Is it still for sale? Mike From Felix ********* to Me: CALL THE NUMBER From Me to Felix *********: What number? From Felix ********* to Me: 484-***-**** From Me to Felix *********: I just called that number and nobody answered. From Felix ********* to Me: i never heard it ring. call again and leave a message if no answer. From Me to Felix *********: I just called again. Nobody picked up so I went to leave you a message, but it said your voicemail was full. From Felix ********* to Me: my voicemail isnt full the phone never rang. are you calling the right number? 484-***-**** From Me to Felix *********: I just called the number again and I got a fax machine noise. Is there a trick to dialing your number? From Felix ********* to Me: what trick??? its a phone number you just dial it! From Me to Felix *********: Are you sure you didn't give me the number to a fax machine? Would you rather communicate through fax? That would actually be easier for me. From Felix ********* to Me: NO! From Me to Felix *********: I wasn't sure what to do, so I sent you a fax. Did you get it? From Felix ********* to Me: DONT SEND ME A FAX From Felix ********* to Me: STOP SENDING ME FAXES From Felix ********* to Me: SERIOUSLY STOP TRYOING TO SEND FAX! IT WONT WORK BECAUSE ITS A CELL PHONE!!! From Me to Felix *********: Can't you just set your cell phone to fax machine mode? From Felix ********* to Me: what the hell is fax machine mode? cell phones dont have that! From Felix ********* to Me: OMG dude ENOUGH WITH THE FAXES!!!!!! From Me to Felix *********: Sorry, I set the fax machine to try sending the fax every fifteen minutes until it goes through. It was the office fax machine and I already left for the weekend. Can this wait until Monday? From Felix ********* to Me: NO IT CANT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME From Felix ********* to Me: GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE AND CANCEL IT RIGHT NOW From Me to Felix *********: My apologies, I can't go back. I'm at the airport and my flight to Vancouver leaves in an hour and a half. I'll cancel the fax on Monday when I get back. From Felix ********* to Me: HEY! NO! FUCK THAT YOU BETTER FIND A WAY AND CANCEL THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!! CALL SOMEBODY AT THE OFFICE MAKE THEM DO IT I'M FUCKING SERIOUS From Me to Felix *********: Nobody is at the office, it is 6:30! Actually, you know what? The janitor might be there. We are pretty good friends. Do you want me to contact him? From Felix ********* to Me: YES From Me to Felix *********: Okay, I gave him your info. He's going to call you shortly. I'm on the plane now and they are making us turn our cell phones off for takeoff. Good luck! From Felix ********* to Me: DONT HAVE HIM CALL ME YOU IDIOT JUST HAVE HIM CANCEL THE FAX From Me to Felix *********: This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow: I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I will not be checking my emails until I return. Have a great weekend, eh? From Felix ********* to Me: GOD DAMMIT From Me to Felix *********: This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow: I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I will not be checking my emails until I return. Have a great weekend, eh? =================================== I made another email account as Dave the Janitor... =================================== From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Hi there! Is this Felix? Mike told me to contact you about buying a fish tank. I'm Dave, the janitor at Mike's office. I tried calling the number he gave me but it sounded like a fax machine or something, so I am emailing you instead. From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: yeah hi dave here's the situation. mike has no idea how phones work and tried to send a fax to my phone using the fax machine at his office. now my phone is getting a call from the fax machine every 15 minutes. he said you can cancel the fax? From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Mike didn't mention anything about a fax machine to me. He told me to buy a fish tank from you and he'd get it from me on Monday. From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: oh jesus christ...no... he was supposed to tell you to cancel the fax that keeps calling my phone. are you at his office? can you stop the fax? From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: So you aren't selling the fish tank? From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: look forget the fish tank just stop the fax machine, PLEASE!! From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Why are you so worried about this fax machine? Can't you just turn your cell phone to fax mode? From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: that isnt a thing! look im done screwing around here. just stop the fax machine, ok? From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Tell you what, I'll cancel the fax machine if you drop the price on the fish tank to $75. From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: look im in no mood to haggle with a janitor over a fucking fish tank. From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Excuse me? "with a janitor?" What is that supposed to mean? What if I had a fancy rich person job as an investment banker? Would you haggle with me then? I don't like your condescending tone, buddy. I know being a janitor isn't the most desirable job, but I gotta put food on the table for my kids somehow! Sorry I'm not an astronaut with a degree in brain surgery! You're in no mood to argue with a janitor? Well guess what? I am in no mood to turn off fax machines for a rude, snobby, patronizing fish tank owner! From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: i didnt mean to insult you. i like janitors. im sorry! can you please just turn off the fax machine! From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Fine. But I am telling Mike what you said to me and I don't think he will want to buy a fish tank from you after that. Are you this rude to your fish? Oh I'm Felix! Sorry, I'm in no mood to feed a goldfish! Maybe if you were a $500 Blueface Angel fish I would feed you. From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: ......are you done? From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********: Yes, I stopped the fax. Sorry it took me so long to figure out how to cancel it. I'm just a janitor. What do I know about fax machines? I don't have a fancy degree in fax machine engineering. From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor: yeah yeah.... thats enough. thanks bye =================================== A few days later, from my original email account... =================================== From Me to Felix *********: Felix, I just got back from Canada to find out you were belittling my janitor? Dave is one of the best janitors I have ever had the pleasure of working with, so you better watch your mouth. You think you are better than him or something? Big words coming from a guy who doesn't even own a fax machine. You can forget about me buying your fish tank! Mike From Felix ********* to Me: good because im not selling anything to a stupid FUCK who cant even figure out how to dial a phone number!!!!!!! From Me to Felix *********: Please, stop harassing me and Dave. You've done enough. Leave us alone. From Felix ********* to Me: oh im harassing YOU? the dumbass who sets a fax to send me every 15 minutes and then LEAVES THE FUCKING COUNTRY? you know how many times that fax machine called me you stupid piece of shit you have the nerve to say IM harassing YOU? go fuck yourself you fucking fuckhead!!!!!! From Me to Felix *********: This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow: Hola! I will be on vacation in Mexico until Monday, June 17th and will not be checking my email until I return. Adios, amigos! Link --> http://www.emailsfromanasshole.dontevenreply.com/ Couch
  2. Couch_Incident

    Only one win away from THIS!!!!

    Tom Brady did nothing wrong. Couch
  3. Couch_Incident

    Only one win away from THIS!!!!

    He supports Trump. They are friends. Couch
  4. Couch_Incident

    I wish these folks had been my in-laws

    you said me cheater?body pain not go out 。you mean stay inside body more pain more problem 。who fix heal the pain can go out ?you can have do good skill ?let the pain go away !i only one person to teach 33 sky chi master wise to the all over the world everybody !i am so hard and lot difficult 。people lot not believe trust 。because chi wisdom teach very hard 。 Couch
  5. Couch_Incident

    Star Wars

    They all sucked. Couch
  6. Couch_Incident

    Meep found a great place to take a nap.

    Yes I will. Seriously, you can have her. Couch
  7. Couch_Incident

    Meep found a great place to take a nap.

    You can have Ylva. Everybody knows her name. Couch
  8. Couch_Incident

    Meep found a great place to take a nap.

    She's on the bed; being an idiot. Couch
  9. Couch_Incident

    Meep found a great place to take a nap.

    She's very tired. Couch
  10. Couch_Incident

    Apropos of the Ruminations of Randomguy

    Give me the Cliff Notes. Couch
  11. Couch_Incident

    Do you have hair in odd places?

    This gives you the legal right to start parody threads again. Seriously, if people get pissed, tell them it was my idea. Couch
  12. Some animals are more equal than others. Couch
  13. Couch_Incident

    NFL Conference Championship Round (now Official thread)

    Yea, there were talks of his retirement after this season. He's hurt. Couch
  14. Couch_Incident

    NFL Conference Championship Round (now Official thread)

    You are always welcome to stay here in Rochester. Couch
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