Longjohn

I finally went through a big stack of paperwork that accumulated because at the time it came in I didn’t know how to deal with it. Most of it was explanation of benefits from medical bills that had been paid by my insurance. The total paid this year was over $300,000. Clear at the bottom of the stack I found an envelope with information about my wife’s second IRA. She told me she started a second IRA when she started working for a new company. Same location, same desk, same computers, doing the same job but working for a different company. Her IRA from the first company she used to pay off all her debts and it didn’t exist anymore. After she died our sons were here cleaning up and she had stacks of paperwork over by her bed. They gathered it all up and put it in the tote. I thought they were getting rid off too much stuff without looking at it first. 
They threw out her notebook with all her passwords in it. They cleaned out her purse and threw away her car keys. Anyhow I didn’t think I had any information on her new 401K. I’ve been waiting all year for them to send a statement. I figured at the end of the year they would have to send a statement.
Anyhow that envelope I found had information on her new 401K and the PIN number to access her account. It had only been a few years since the new company took over so I didn’t expect there to be very much in it. She has over $36,000 in that account. They are sending me the forms I need to fill out to transfer it over to me.

Well thank you, that is quite a complement. I think you are quite special too. I’d like to get up to visit you sometime, I wonder if this pandemic is ever going to end.

More catheter problems tonight. It was working so well this morning. Her urine was light yellow and clear and it was flowing freely. Tonight she said she was all wet. Sure enough her catheter bag didn’t have anything more in it since it was emptied at noon. All the underpads and sheets and her gown were soaked. I changed everything and asked her if she wanted me to call a nurse and get the catheter changed tonight. She said she wasn’t up for that so I’ll be doing another bedding change in the morning. I have a couple more loads of laundry to do tonight so I’ll have enough bedding for tomorrow.

Today was busy. When I changed her disposable bed pad yesterday I put three new pads down. She had diarrhea this morning and I was glad I had three pads under her. I had to change all the pads, top sheet and gown, wash her up after I cleaned her up, apply skin protectant on her lower region. She was doing fine, I fed her her breakfast and then had my breakfast. I just sat down to see what is happening on the forum. I read a few posts and them my wife said something just popped and scared me. It was something down by my crotch. I checked her and didn’t see anything but she was all wet. Sometimes for some reason she has leaks around her catheter. I like to use a wash basin with Olay body wash and a washcloth to get all the pee washed off so she doesn’t get skin burns. As I was applying skin protectant her catheter fell on the floor. That pop she heard was the balloon filled with saline that holds the catheter in place blew out. Never had that happen before. I had to call the weekend nurse to come change the catheter. She is all fixed up now and will probably sleep well tonight.

My cat Oreo who always ran away from everyone but me liked the nurse. He was rubbing on her legs wanting attention. I’m glad his ears are healing up and not oozing anymore.

I’m tired, between the CLL and the beta blockers the cardiologist has me on I wake up tired, cook meals tired, take care of my wife tired, do laundry, dishes, take care of the furnace tired. Everyone is dying, HB’s wife passed away this morning, scrapper’s wife passed a year ago, tonight they had the memorial service for a missionary friend of mine. She died in May and I didn’t even know because I haven’t been able to go to church for a year. I got to watch the service on FB live. Nobody at the service was able to speak without getting choked up. On the bright side she did enjoy 54 years of marriage and died unexpectedly from a heart attack. I remember thinking I probably wouldn’t be able to have a funeral service for my wife because of covid. 
The weather is getting cold and nasty. I always have trouble this time of year because it is so long before the weather starts to improve. My firewood girl is having trouble getting firewood because so many mills are not working. I’m thinking of ordering a load of logs and slice them up for firewood. The logs are more work and more expensive than the cut slabs Natalie brings me. Close to $1,000 for a log truck load of logs.

Something is going on with my ribs on my right side. I have had a couple nights where the pain kept me awake most of the night. I’m being a grump on here because I have to stay upbeat and cheerful around my wife. 
Tomorrow my wife’s sister is coming over right after church. I think I’ll make spaghetti and chicken.  I need a vacation.

On the bright side I have the best Hospice team in the world. Our aide is here for about an hour Monday through Friday to help me care for my wife. She is so cheerful and sweet and is so gentle and caring when working on my wife. Our nurse visits twice a week but will come as needed. He makes sure I have all the drugs I need and supplies like disposable bed pads, wipes, lotions, body wash, powder, and nitril gloves.

From what I see going on in the world I think I have a more normal life than a lot of people. My wife is doing much better. She still can’t sit up or stand but her pain is less. Her burn on her back is almost healed up. The expensive burn ointment the hospice nurses kept putting on her burn were not helping and I over ruled them and switched to triple antibiotic ointment. Every time I get stitched up from a bike crash or a skin cancer surgery that’s what they always tell me to use.

After my wife had breakfast this morning she went to sleep. I put on a playlist of Beatles love songs and listened to it very quietly while I cleaned up the kitchen and made up some more hummingbird food. I came back in the living room and got on my iPad and checked the forum while still listening to love songs. My wife woke up and turned on XM channel on the TV. My music is better quality. I picked up my Bluetooth headphones and continued listening to Beatles. 

If she needs anything she will have to call me on the phone.

My LBS called to tell me my bike is ready to go. I had them do a tune up on it even though it didn’t really need it. I don’t imagine I’ll get to ride it until either my wife gets a lot better or passes. I might order a new 520 if that happens. The new ones have disc brakes. I would get a dyno hub for lighting and charging devices this time. I think I will be ready for a road trip by then.

She has the do not resuscitate order which really isn’t needed. She is at home with no trauma team waiting just down the hall. When I got a new PCP the papers they had me fill out had a DNR form and I signed it. When I had my hernia surgery I told the surgeon I wanted to change that because I need to get home to take care of my wife. He said when you have surgery they always resuscitate if needed order or not. That’s a good thing because I coded twice and had to be resuscitated. Even if a trauma team was at the end of our dirt road they would never make it in time.

As far as end of life plans she has none. We have no idea when she might pass to gather family around. Every morning I quietly walk over to see if she is still breathing. With the rona virus you can’t have a regular funeral so we don’t have any plans for that. Probably have a celebration of life party for her once things get back to where that is possible.

Thanks Keith, your prayers are appreciated. She still talks about that ride.

Thank you, she deserves the best. She is a wonderful lady.

I bought Sean's book on Amazon. Sorry for the wrong spelling of his name but I didn't know he spelled it Sean until I did a google search looking for the book. The book was amazing. He described what his life was like while he was in the midst of growing up without a way to communicate. Last week with Zane went really well, praying for a breakthrough.

I think I could have fun on a fat bike in the snow if it had a big enough engine, oh wait, been there done that, have the trophies somewhere.  I used to race hare scrambles all winter 45 years ago, dang I'm old.  Congratulations on the ride.  You do a great ride report too.

I was looking at my time on Strava and noticed one of the guys from work did the same ride today.  He was using a Garmin and I used my iPhone 6. I finished twelve minutes before he did but it shows he was avg. eight tenths of a mph faster than me. It also showed he rode a half mile further, I looked on his map, he didn't go off route. The ride was listed as 35.5 miles and that's what my iPhone showed it to be.

Yay you are still alive.  Great report and pictures too.  I have been waiting to hear how it went.  The logistics of getting in and out of the city with all those people are what have kept me from doing the event.

Still waiting, the guys over at Two Spoke have already posted their reports and pictures from the tour.  We want to hear your stories.

Ok Smudge we will be waiting for a report on the tour.  I hope you take lots of pictures.

That's what makes it an adventure.  With no apprehension beforehand you have less feelings of accomplishment afterwards. I have thought about doing that ride many times, the logistics of getting in to the city and to the start of the ride and getting back out of the city is what has kept me from doing it.  I'm not a fan of big cities. I'm a country boy.

Are you going to ship it back home after the ride or ride it home?

But what if you break a bone on the five boro tour and can't ride your fat bike?