Kirbys Wild Sister

It's always about you. 

Where are the open faced turkey sandwiches? Can a person get a cup of coffee around here with all this tea everywhere? 

Where's the smoking lounge?  

On 2/4/2019 at 12:05 PM, Page Turner said:

...and riffraff. Think about it. Where does @Kirbys Wild Sister live ?

Asheville, North Carolina. 

I started smoking in high school to distract from the fact I was running around with Kirby's boyfriend. Kirby would be at the library preparing for finals when Dennis would pick me up and we'd go cruising around and necking in the woods. 

Dennis smoked Kools and drove a Trans Am with the t top. 

Kirby, I'm sorry. 

Daphne

3 minutes ago, Geico said:

Hey big spender! Talk is cheap. If you really want to help around here, make the same offer of back-dated insurance coverage to the driver of the at-fault car and we can call this a day!

No. We were only doing this as a courtesy to Martha. Offer has been rescinded and we are reporting you to the Dallas chapter of the Bureau for Insurance Fraud. 

God bless,

Marlin

Sooooo.  GRIECO stole my cabriolet.  Offered me about 9 hundred less than I paid for it from LeRoy Cannon Volkswagen in 1991. Ten dollars more than I owe on it, but I would like more.  Probably not going to get it. 

So I have to start car hopping.  As much as I loved the cabriolet, I did not enjoy the ridicule or the bullying, but I do like the way the console held my Chick fil A Sprites. Only cost me about 75 per year to drive based on what Grieco is giving me.  Not bad.  Down side is that El Caminos of the same year cost about 25,000 more than what Grieco is giving me and I am not sure I want to spend that right now.

So I think I want a purple El Camino with pink pinstriping.  Found this lowrider that I am going to go look at with Richard tomorrow. Same year as my cabriolet, lower miles, more features, but a lot more hip.

Should cut my fights in half and give me much better cache with the ladies.  Still has factory warranty left.

Thoughts?

I hate this has happened to you. If you switch to us now, we will backdate the paperwork for you so you were covered with us during your accident. Complete replacement truck, loaner car, cute 2nd car such as a vintage cabriolet for Martha, and some casino money. We'll throw in 2 days at the doggy spa for Rascal, Romeo, and Remi. We cannot insure Toby at this time.

-   Marlin

Sir Edward Hopper, 1958

@Road Runner

Thank you for your interest in Mutual of Omaha but we do not currently offer insurance to Canadians at this time.

Marlin

We can help you with those type of issues also, Mr. Scrapr. Once the vehicle is "no longer operational" (with our help), the owner has 24 hours to move or it will be towed at their expense. Just like on the interstate or highway. 

Who do you use for your highly successful scrapping company? We will not match lowball quotes from scam artists like Geico but we will be there for you when needed. 

Marlin

MOH now offers policies protecting from encroachment from hippies and the homeless. Annual refunds checks and quick claim service also available. 

Marlin

Mutual of Omaha has been the official insurance provider for the historical and beautiful city of Savannah, Georgia since 1932. In fact, one of our first joint endeavors with this southern gem was the complete renovation of the iconic Forsyth fountain on Drayton street in 1935. 

Call us today for all your estate fountain needs.    

2 minutes ago, Dottie said:

You know, there's something about your picture I like.

Yay!  I will have Jim contact you for a free quote when he returns from cleaning the chimpanzee cages.   

1 minute ago, Dottie said:

You want to pay my mortgage too?  Thanks.

No, but we offer wonderful accidental death benefits. You or your spouse would be mortgage free. God forbid. 

2 minutes ago, Dottie said:

Very interesting.

We now offer a final expenses program. Call us at your convenience.  

1 minute ago, Kirby said:

I've napped at work, does that count?

No. 

You can count on when the going gets tough.   

Yes. Deepest, darkest Africa and snake infested India. I still had my manservant Jim to carry my bags and set up my tent. 

We could have helped you wirh that but you went with the lowest quote. We won't even touch most sections of Atlanta now. 

You're nothing but a ponzi scheme. You disgust me and should be in jail. 

I will be listening during my commute and I want you to listen.

Sincerely,

RWMW

20 minutes ago, Mr. Silly said: