Kirbys Wild Sister

Asheville, North Carolina.

I started smoking in high school to distract from the fact I was running around with Kirby's boyfriend. Kirby would be at the library preparing for finals when Dennis would pick me up and we'd go cruising around and necking in the woods. Dennis smoked Kools and drove a Trans Am with the t top. Kirby, I'm sorry. Daphne

Sooooo. GRIECO stole my cabriolet. Offered me about 9 hundred less than I paid for it from LeRoy Cannon Volkswagen in 1991. Ten dollars more than I owe on it, but I would like more. Probably not going to get it. So I have to start car hopping. As much as I loved the cabriolet, I did not enjoy the ridicule or the bullying, but I do like the way the console held my Chick fil A Sprites. Only cost me about 75 per year to drive based on what Grieco is giving me. Not bad. Down side is that El Caminos of the same year cost about 25,000 more than what Grieco is giving me and I am not sure I want to spend that right now.  So I think I want a purple El Camino with pink pinstriping. Found this lowrider that I am going to go look at with Richard tomorrow. Same year as my cabriolet, lower miles, more features, but a lot more hip. Should cut my fights in half and give me much better cache with the ladies. Still has factory warranty left. Thoughts?

No. We were only doing this as a courtesy to Martha. Offer has been rescinded and we are reporting you to the Dallas chapter of the Bureau for Insurance Fraud. God bless, Marlin

I hate this has happened to you. If you switch to us now, we will backdate the paperwork for you so you were covered with us during your accident. Complete replacement truck, loaner car, cute 2nd car such as a vintage cabriolet for Martha, and some casino money. We'll throw in 2 days at the doggy spa for Rascal, Romeo, and Remi. We cannot insure Toby at this time. - Marlin

Sir Edward Hopper, 1958 @Road Runner

Thank you for your interest in Mutual of Omaha but we do not currently offer insurance to Canadians at this time. Marlin

We can help you with those type of issues also, Mr. Scrapr. Once the vehicle is "no longer operational" (with our help), the owner has 24 hours to move or it will be towed at their expense. Just like on the interstate or highway. Who do you use for your highly successful scrapping company? We will not match lowball quotes from scam artists like Geico but we will be there for you when needed. Marlin

MOH now offers policies protecting from encroachment from hippies and the homeless. Annual refunds checks and quick claim service also available. Marlin

Mutual of Omaha has been the official insurance provider for the historical and beautiful city of Savannah, Georgia since 1932. In fact, one of our first joint endeavors with this southern gem was the complete renovation of the iconic Forsyth fountain on Drayton street in 1935. Call us today for all your estate fountain needs.

You can count on when the going gets tough.

Yay! I will have Jim contact you for a free quote when he returns from cleaning the chimpanzee cages.

No, but we offer wonderful accidental death benefits. You or your spouse would be mortgage free. God forbid.