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Airehead

The terrible tale of the exploding watermelon. Now with lame pictures

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Mr. Aire bought a round watermelon. Yesterday, I told him it looked delicious.
 

Tonight, I wiped down the counter, wiped down the watermelon, and reached for a knife. I stuck the knife into the very attractive watermelon.  I didn’t get it in but an inch when the whole thing cracked and exploded.  

Wet, sticky liquid, with an odor so noxious that I can still bring the stench to my mind just by writing this, came blasting out.  Literally shooting into the air, hitting the backsplash. Now I know why they call it a backsplash. Then it hit the window and me and ran off the counter into the dish washer. Some ran down the cupboard door. The smell.🤮🤢🤮. Did I mention how bad it smelled?  Just awful and the liquid was all over the counter too.  Keep in mind, I had only made one small puncture to this melon  

Typically a kitchen disaster brings the Airedales looking for treats to steal. Not this time, they backed away— far away. 

I got out a mop, a couple rags, and hot soapy water with non- chemical cleaner.  I spent about 30 minutes cleaning up.  Mr.Aire came in and said, what are you doing?”  I tried to explain, yet, he was doubtful. Then I showed him the cracked watermelon shell. There is about half the flesh gone and a big empty cavity.   On the outside it still looks lovely.   I made him take the bag of smelly waste to the curb. 
 

it was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I am wondering if it was injected with something as a prank or whether it just rotted internally and fermented. It was bad. The end. 

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Sounds like it fermented and built up gas pressure. 
 

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Wow. That’s not anything I’ve ever experienced. 

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Well if it was fermented, there might just be some hope left for that watermelon.

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Wow, seems fermented.

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When I slit open a butternutsquash, I came across this inside!  Yea, squash sprouts inside the cavity!

 

Frankenstein self-seeding bean sprouts grows inside butternut squash --before I cut open squash. In my kitchen 2015. Photo J. Chong

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51 minutes ago, Airehead said:

Mr. Aire bought a round watermelon. Yesterday, I told him it looked delicious.
 

Tonight, I wiped down the counter, wiped down the watermelon, and reached for a knife. I stuck the knife into the very attractive watermelon.  I didn’t get it in but an inch when the whole thing cracked and exploded.  

Wet, sticky liquid, with an odor so noxious that I can still bring the stench to my mind just by writing this, came blasting out.  Literally shooting into the air, hitting the backsplash. Now I know why they call it a backsplash. Then it hit the window and me and ran off the counter into the dish washer. Some ran down the cupboard door. The smell.🤮🤢🤮. Did I mention how bad it smelled?  Just awful and the liquid was all over the counter too.  Keep in mind, I had only made one small puncture to this melon  

Typically a kitchen disaster brings the Airedales looking for treats to steal. Not this time, they backed away— far away. 

I got out a mop, a couple rags, and hot soapy water with non- chemical cleaner.  I spent about 30 minutes cleaning up.  Mr.Aire came in and said, what are you doing?”  I tried to explain, yet, he was doubtful. Then I showed him the cracked watermelon shell. There is about half the flesh gone and a big empty cavity.   On the outside it still looks lovely.   I made him take the bag of smelly waste to the curb. 
 

it was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I am wondering if it was injected with something as a prank or whether it just rotted internally and fermented. It was bad. The end. 

But how did it taste?

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51 minutes ago, Airehead said:

whole thing cracked and exploded.

Maybe it was caused by the “exploding gene,”  Or it was haunted....

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I’d have him return it for a refund.

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3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

But how did it taste?

I would not taste that thing with your mouth. Ughh

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edumacate Einstein

but WHY are bananas in the Melon Mania display???

 

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1 minute ago, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

I suspect Gallagher. 

No where near that good or tidy. 

1 minute ago, Kzoo said:

I’d have him return it for a refund.

I said no because I feel for the clerk who didn’t make it rotten but would have to smell it. 

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A0CEBA37-DA58-435B-9556-BE36F8EDEA08.jpeg

6942310D-D7CA-4F1C-8010-0005CAEECA80.jpeg

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It looks ripe.

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2 hours ago, Kzoo said:

I’d return him for a refund.

I am not sure she can return him at this point.

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Skull caps.

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11 hours ago, jsharr said:

I am not sure she can return him at this point.

She can try.  I'm not sure it will work.  I think WoKzoo has tried several times.

 

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1 minute ago, Kzoo said:

She can try.  I'm not sure it will work.  I think WoKzoo has tried several times.

 

If I were her I would just toss you out with the rotten melon.

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2 minutes ago, jsharr said:

If I were her I would just toss you out with the rotten melon.

Life in the compost pile.

 

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1 minute ago, Kzoo said:

Life in the compost pile.

 

I was thinking more of the mushroom treatment.

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According to theprodusesavant.blogspot.com: a watermelon that rots from the inside will release gas that will eventually build up enough pressure to break the skin resulting in a natural explosion, often spraying all nearby surfaces with rotten watermelon. Your knife cut just moved the process up a few days. Mr Aire should learn how to select watermelon more carefully. #whenbadproducehappenstogoodpeople.

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1 minute ago, Old No. 7 said:

According to theprodusesavant.blogspot.com: a watermelon that rots from the inside will release gas that will eventually build up enough pressure to break the skin resulting in a natural explosion, often spraying all nearby surfaces with rotten watermelon. Your knife cut just moved the process up a few days. Mr Aire should learn how to select watermelon more carefully. #whenbadproducehappenstogoodpeople.

I think he did it on purpose.

 

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Wow!  I'm guessing it was stored somewhere for a long time or maybe it was injected as you suspect.

The inside is sealed from contamination by yeasts, etc. so I wouldn't know what to think would cause the gas build up - unless it was pecked by a bird or burrowed into by a bug while growing and then healed the skin with the gas-instigator inside.

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I did can  a bunch of pumpkin one year.  Turns out it continues processing until the mason jars explode all over the basement.

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What an awesome story! I think the mess was worth it.

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