Unwritten rules

[Airehead]

What are the unwritten rules in your home?

In ours-- stuff doesnt belong on the kitchen counters.  It is not a storage area.  It is a cooking area.  Only exceptions should be coffee maker, knife block, and perhaps a bowl of fruit.  Same goes for the island.

[Randomguy]

100% agree!

[shootingstar]

No clothing nor piles of paper/books nor computer equipment, except for the wiring goes on the floor.

[Further]

Rules ???    

We don’t need no stinking rules!!!

[maddmaxx ★]

34 minutes ago, Airehead said:

What are the unwritten rules in your home?

In ours-- stuff doesnt belong on the kitchen counters.  It is not a storage area.  It is a cooking area.  Only exceptions should be coffee maker, knife block, and perhaps a bowl of fruit.  Same goes for the island.

Unfortunately with 2+ households of stuff here there isn't room for all of it and no one want's to get rid of anything because they might move out again in the future.  The cupboards are full of coffee cups and dishes so one end of the counter has a stash of dry goods boxes.  And of course everyone likes different food so the refrigerator and spice cupboard are also always full.

The first couple years of my retirement were great with just myself and womaxx around.

[sheep_herder ★]

You jest!!

[Airehead]

Oh and there is an unwritten rule about not waking sleeping dogs. That is just asking for trouble. 

[BuffJim]

No shoes on in the house. Also, wherever I put something, it’s in the wrong spot. 

[Ralphie ★]

16 minutes ago, Further said:

Rules ???    

We don’t need no stinking rules!!!

It should be like fight club. The only rule is that there are no rules. 

[shootingstar]

21 minutes ago, BuffJim said:

No shoes on in the house. Also, wherever I put something, it’s in the wrong spot. 

I forgot that since I grew up with that rule from babyhood and have that at home now. He's like that too. All guests observe it ..willingly.

[Kzoo]

12 minutes ago, BuffJim said:

No shoes on in the house. Also, wherever I put something, it’s in the wrong spot. 

Ditto.  No shoes.  And how come where she puts something is better than where I put something?  One of the unanswered mysteries of like.  I tried to get it answered once - I won’t do that again.

[Ralphie ★]

4 minutes ago, Kzoo said:

Ditto.  No shoes.  And how come where she puts something is better than where I put something?  One of the unanswered mysteries of like.  I tried to get it answered once - I won’t do that again.

I gotta dig up a copy of “The Rules”.

Ahh, here they are. 
http://www.ultimatehusband.com/the_rules_according_to_women.htm

[Tizeye]

Whatever she says (irrespective of how  wrong she is  )

[Ralphie ★]

“ The dog was right”.

 

[Forum Administrator]

1 hour ago, Airehead said:

What are the unwritten rules in your home?

In ours-- stuff doesnt belong on the kitchen counters.  It is not a storage area.  It is a cooking area.  Only exceptions should be coffee maker, knife block, and perhaps a bowl of fruit.  Same goes for the island.

You would die in my house. Whenever I clean the kitchen, I have to move around a stack of medical bills that date back to 2007 that we have to keep because of reasons.  We can't move them into the fireproof safe because of reasons too.  I won't even talk about the pile of misaddressed junk mail that we can't throw away...  because throwing away someone else's mail is a felony.

The unwritten rule in my house is when the toilet paper roll gets low, you should go under the sink and grab the spare roll. Do your business, then put the spare roll back under the sink. This way you don't have to change the near empty toilet paper roll.

[Prophet Zacharia]

Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.

[maddmaxx ★]

Yes dear.

[2Far ★]

1) Wo2 is always right. 
2) If Wo2 is mistaken, see Rule 1. 

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

5 hours ago, Airehead said:

stuff doesnt belong on the kitchen counters.

You would lapse into fits of uncontrollable twitching, were you ever to visit my ex. Every horizontal surface is for storage.

I stopped in to drop my son’s Christmas gift - a box of cool food items - when I went to set the box down on the dining room table, to show/explain what was in it....there was no room. 

Any time I get annoyed at the SO leaving stuff on the counter or whatever, I remind myself “....it could be worse....”

[Kirby]

Don't need a lot of rules when you live alone, but there is one I try to follow - always put your purse (and the keys in the purse) in the same place each night.

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

1 minute ago, Kirby said:

Don't need a lot of rules when you live alone

....but who do you blame stuff on?

[sheep_herder ★]

5 hours ago, Kzoo said:

Ditto.  No shoes.  And how come where she puts something is better than where I put something?  One of the unanswered mysteries of like.  I tried to get it answered once - I won’t do that again.

I damn near choked reading this!!

[Randomguy]

1 hour ago, F_in Ray Of Sunshine said:

Every horizontal surface is for storage.

My ex (the one you didn't meet) did that, drove me completely nuts.  Returning from shopping trips, absolutely no room on the kitchen table, kitchen chairs, or kitchen counters set the bags down and unload.  After some time I told her that I would start throwing things away if she can't be counted on to leave room on working surfaces to actually work.  That only worked to a small degree.

So glad I don't have to deal with that now.

5 hours ago, Kzoo said:

One of the unanswered mysteries of like.  I tried to get it answered once - I won’t do that again.

I always wonder about this whole dynamic.  If you are half of a team, you should be making roughly half the rules or have a large portion of your expectations agreed to.   I don't understand why or how the "yes dear" stuff flies, why would women respect any of that from a man?  It ain't a team of one and a subordinate, that BS is guaranteed to make somebody miserable.

[Randomguy]

6 hours ago, BuffJim said:

No shoes on in the house.

I am fine with no shoes in the house or shoes for short spell.  If I have 6 grocery bags and I want to unload, I am damn sure walking the bags into the kitchen rather than taking shoes off first.  I don't wear shoes as a default, but any sign of naziism is gonna get a quick rebuke.

Somebody else's house, of course, their rules apply.

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

1 minute ago, Randomguy said:

After some time I told her that I would start throwing things away if she can't be counted on to leave room on working surfaces to actually work.  That only worked to a small degree.

We added an addition and a second floor to the house we were in - major, major renovation. To do so, we had to empty the house and move into a camp next door. All the stuff that didn’t have an immediate need for, was stored over her mom’s garage. We finished the renovations and moved into the “new” house. As we needed stuff, we brought it down. After about two years, I suggested we get rid of whatever was left, since we obviously didn’t need it....

....nope

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

5 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Somebody else's house, of course, their rules apply.

Leave ‘em on. Gus doesn’t take his off.

[Ralphie ★]

36 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I always wonder about this whole dynamic.  If you are half of a team, you should be making roughly half the rules or have a large portion of your expectations agreed to.   I don't understand why or how the "yes dear" stuff flies, why would women respect any of that from a man?  It ain't a team of one and a subordinate, that BS is guaranteed to make somebody miserable

We used to have a small female dog who would just look at our bigger male dog when he was laying on the couch and he would slowly slink down. 

It’s like that.

 

[Square Wheels]

Our house is pretty laid back.

[Kirby]

2 hours ago, F_in Ray Of Sunshine said:

....but who do you blame stuff on?

the cat

[Zephyr]

No technology during meals.  No tv, no cell phones, no radio and we all eat at the same table together.  No exceptions

[sheep_herder ★]

21 minutes ago, Kirby said:

the cat

Ahhhhh, that is what happened to the shelves in the closet.

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

Rule #1: get out of my kitchen. Coffee maker, bean grinder, microwave, cutting boards and cooking utensils can live in the counters. Knives have their own drawer with cork sleeves that they rest in until needed. Everything else has a place.  

[sheep_herder ★]

We really did not have any unwritten rules when I was growing up. I am with RG on the shoes in the house. That is OK until there is an emergency, and one needs to go to the bathroom or get a quick fix, and there is not time to take off lace up boots. Gets even more interesting in winter, when one is wearing more than one layer of clothes. Things also get a bit more challenging as one ages. Rules are OK, but there is a limit, and life must go on.

[Further]

My word is the final and absolute ruling........._{in the basement.....}

[Guest]

I’m not allowed to talk about the rules.

[shootingstar]

4 hours ago, Randomguy said:

I am fine with no shoes in the house or shoes for short spell.  If I have 6 grocery bags and I want to unload, I am damn sure walking the bags into the kitchen rather than taking shoes off first.  I don't wear shoes as a default, but any sign of naziism is gonna get a quick rebuke.

Somebody else's house, of course, their rules apply.

That would not work in our homes.  Just too dirty.

[sheep_herder ★]

1 hour ago, shootingstar said:

That would not work in our homes.  Just too dirty.

Different strokes for different folks!!

[Randomguy]

1 minute ago, sheep_herder said:

Different strokes for different folks!!

WRONG! would also have been acceptable. 

[shootingstar]

10 minutes ago, sheep_herder said:

Different strokes for different folks!!

I think dearie was more casual at his farmhouse outside of Toronto, not in the Toronto home in the city at all.

As for my chlldhood....imagine allowing 6 chldren running around in shoes from outdoors, at home.  Too hard on mother to clean the floors and carpet all the time.  Or the older kids would have to do it. 

Anyway, alot of Asian city homes require one to wear slippers or barefeet at home.  

[ChrisL]

Don’t touch my personal items. My wife & son are notorious for ”borrowing“ my stuff and then putting it in a place that makes perfect sense to them but not to me. I am anal about putting my stuff in the same place every time.  

I’m a pretty easy going person but goddamn when I go to get my keys out of my basket and they are not there because my wife borrowed them & put them back in her purse, jacket pocket, her car etc I get pretty freaking hot.  

[Randomguy]

2 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

when I go to get my keys out of my basket and they are not there because my wife borrowed them & put them back in her purse, jacket pocket, her car etc I get pretty freaking hot.  

I gave this a like for the first part, but the quoted part is on you, I feel.   Keys belong in your pants pocket when you take your pants off, whatever the last pair is that you wore.  No one touches your keys but you, the spare set is for other people.  I am always perplexed when people lose their keys, I just think it is so simple to leave the in your purse if you are a chick, or in your pants if you are a dude, or in a place accessible to no one else if you have to hang dress pants or somesuch.  Of course, this is all so easy when you live alone like I do, people grubbing your keys constantly complicates the issue considerably.

[shootingstar]

24 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Don’t touch my personal items. My wife & son are notorious for ”borrowing“ my stuff and then putting it in a place that makes perfect sense to them but not to me. I am anal about putting my stuff in the same place every time.  

I’m a pretty easy going person but goddamn when I go to get my keys out of my basket and they are not there because my wife borrowed them & put them back in her purse, jacket pocket, her car etc I get pretty freaking hot.  

Dearie and I are very good about not touching each others' personal items....except when my shoes overcrowd his side ...so he piles it high, etc. For instance, I will not use any of his computers and will ask.  He has certain software set up that kick up automatically and tons of bookmarked pages..etc. We actually do our clothing laundry separately since I can't expect him to figure out "delicate" textiles and clothing that I've spent money on.  He just throws everything of his and puts it on cold wash.  I can't quite do that..for my clothing.

Edited July 27, 2020 by shootingstar

[sheep_herder ★]

27 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

I think dearie was more casual at his farmhouse outside of Toronto, not in the Toronto home in the city at all.

As for my chlldhood....imagine allowing 6 chldren running around in shoes from outdoors, at home.  Too hard on mother to clean the floors and carpet all the time.  Or the older kids would have to do it. 

Anyway, alot of Asian city homes require one to wear slippers or barefeet at home.  

Hey, why do you think I said "Different strokes for different folks."? I am not disagreeing with you, but your lifestyle does not work for me at all times.  Remember, I have spent time in China and have had Japanese friends during my lifetime. Thus, I have followed the rules when I needed to. Your rules just do not always work for me, wearing braces and lace up boots, when there is an emergency. You just have to accept there are different folks with different needs.

[ChrisL]

7 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I gave this a like for the first part, but the quoted part is on you, I feel.   Keys belong in your pants pocket when you take your pants off, whatever the last pair is that you wore.  No one touches your keys but you, the spare set is for other people.  I am always perplexed when people lose their keys, I just think it is so simple to leave the in your purse if you are a chick, or in your pants if you are a dude, or in a place accessible to no one else if you have to hang dress pants or somesuch.  Of course, this is all so easy when you live alone like I do, people grubbing your keys constantly complicates the issue considerably.

Wrong! 😁

I have a spot on the Kitchen counter. On my spot is a small basket for my wallet, keys, pocket knife, work security cards and then next to my basket is a case for my sunglasses. When I get home from anywhere, all my stuff goes in my spot.  When I leave the house, all my stuff is in my spot.  

Except my wife will leave her keys in her purse which is now upstairs & Instead of getting her keys will take mine.... Sometimes it’s for a totally nice thing like changing out the insurance cards in my wallet but she’ll absent mindedly put my wallet in her purse?  

My wife is on it 99% of the time but she is an absolute scatter brain with her stuff. She doesn’t think about where she puts stuff down and is forever loosing her shit. Our son is just like her in that regard.

[sheep_herder ★]

14 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Wrong! 😁

I have a spot on the Kitchen counter. On my spot is a small basket for my wallet, keys, pocket knife, work security cards and then next to my basket is a case for my sunglasses. When I get home from anywhere, all my stuff goes in my spot.  When I leave the house, all my stuff is in my spot.  

Except my wife will leave her keys in her purse which is now upstairs & Instead of getting her keys will take mine.... Sometimes it’s for a totally nice thing like changing out the insurance cards in my wallet but she’ll absent mindedly put my wallet in her purse?  

My wife is on it 99% of the time but she is an absolute scatter brain with her stuff. She doesn’t think about where she puts stuff down and is forever loosing her shit. Our son is just like her in that regard.

Thus, what RG is saying 'fits'. Your stuff is accessible to others and not always available to you, which causes you a problem. How do you solve the problem? Select a more secure spot for your stuff, otherwise suffer the consequences.

[Dottleshead ★]

No peeing in the bedroom corner no matter how drunk you are.

[sheep_herder ★]

1 minute ago, Dottles said:

No peeing in the bedroom corner no matter how drunk you are.

That seems a bit severe!!

[ChrisL]

3 minutes ago, sheep_herder said:

Thus, what RG is saying 'fits'. Your stuff is accessible to others and not always available to you, which causes you a problem. How do you solve the problem? Select a more secure spot for your stuff, otherwise suffer the consequences.

Negative ghost rider.  It’s my house too, I shouldn’t have to secure my stuff from my family. If my kids had substance abuse issues or were taking money yeah then shame on me. 

To be fair I’m dredging up old stuff. My son knows better now and my wife rarely takes my keys these days.  They learned to leave my stuff alone.

[sheep_herder ★]

5 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Negative ghost rider.  It’s my house too, I shouldn’t have to secure my stuff from my family. If my kids had substance abuse issues or were taking money yeah then shame on me. 

To be fair I’m dredging up old stuff. My son knows better now and my wife rarely takes my keys these days.  They learned to leave my stuff alone.

You sure seem to have a lot of drama in your life.  You seem to be getting a bit combative calling folks names. Glad you get to ride your bicycles to reduce some of your aggression. Have a Good Night.

[Randomguy]

31 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

I have a spot on the Kitchen counter. On my spot is a small basket for my wallet, keys, pocket knife, work security cards and then next to my basket is a case for my sunglasses. When I get home from anywhere, all my stuff goes in my spot.  When I leave the house, all my stuff is in my spot.  

So you are taking all that you need from a central place accessible only to you and putting it in a high-traffic area where those items are now accessible to others who disregard directives to leave it be and take those items at least from time to time.  

I see a problem here, reality is invading what "ought to be" and creating cognitive dissonance.  You might think about giving the pants idea a try, just hang the last pair you are wearing on a hook, and your keys, wallet, security cards, everything is right there.  Wearing new pants?  Transfer the items from where you know they are to where you know they will be until the next transfer.  This method is foolproof.