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Parr8hed

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Has really done a number on my son.  Tris were all cancelled.  They are just now picking back up.  Triathlon nationals were cancelled.  He was really working hard to compete this year.  Goal was top 10 and I think he had a shot.  Cyclocross was all cancelled.  

He has lost all motivation to ride.  I have talked about a new trainer, one for zwift.  He has no interest.  He just does not want anything to do with a bike right now.  

He has still enjoyed running and lifting.  Running better now than ever.  Hoping that Xc picks up for school.  He is practicing with the team.

He's not lazy.  Does lots of yard work without being asked.  Runs almost every day.  Just doesn't want to ride.  

It breaks my heart because he loved the bike so much.  I wish I could help.

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1 minute ago, Parr8hed said:

Has really done a number on my son.  Tris were all cancelled.  They are just now picking back up.  Triathlon nationals were cancelled.  He was really working hard to compete this year.  Goal was top 10 and I think he had a shot.  Cyclocross was all cancelled.  

He has lost all motivation to ride.  I have talked about a new trainer, one for zwift.  He has no interest.  He just does not want anything to do with a bike right now.  

He has still enjoyed running and lifting.  Running better now than ever.  Hoping that Xc picks up for school.  He is practicing with the team.

He's not lazy.  Does lots of yard work without being asked.  Runs almost every day.  Just doesn't want to ride.  

It breaks my heart because he loved the bike so much.  I wish I could help.

Can't get him to ride with you? Maybe a mid-week bike-camping event?  Some sort of adventure on the bike to new places and things?

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5 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Can't get him to ride with you? Maybe a mid-week bike-camping event?  Some sort of adventure on the bike to new places and things?

I am not riding much (really at all) these days.  My work schedule has changed so much that I just really don't have time.  I have been walking a bunch in the mornings when work allows.  He never really liked riding with me anyways.  He HATES cars on the road (can't blame him).  He gets so freaked out anytime a car just passes (even at appropriate distances from us).  He has to wait for me up climbs and the catch up to me on descents.  I end up getting frustrated about the car thing and it ends up being no fun.  

 

The answer?  Prob gravel.  It's just hard to find any close.  I don't have time to drive too far.  

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Just now, Parr8hed said:

The answer?  Prob gravel.  It's just hard to find any close.  I don't have time to drive too far.  

Has he gotten his license yet?  If so, it may be more you work with him to plan some cool routes off the road and encourage him (and maybe another cycling friend) to head out and explore those trails.  Toss a GoPro his way and have him document it.

He definitely seems to have a competitive drive, but it is interesting he doesn't want to do it but will run when not competing.  For me, I know I have a few Nat Parks and Nat Forests nearby that are relatively traffic free, so if I wanted that sort of riding, I could get to it and feel "safe".  It is definitely one reason gravel has taken off - fewer cars.  

Hope you find something, but at least he is still pretty active and this COVID stuff will be over eventually.

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11 minutes ago, bikeman564™ said:

Hopefully he gets out of the slump, that is sad though :(  Everything in MI is canceled too, but me and other peeps ride a lot, together & solo. Any peeps he can ride with?

It really is.  See my response above about riding with people.

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16 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Has he gotten his license yet?  If so, it may be more you work with him to plan some cool routes off the road and encourage him (and maybe another cycling friend) to head out and explore those trails.  Toss a GoPro his way and have him document it.

He definitely seems to have a competitive drive, but it is interesting he doesn't want to do it but will run when not competing.  For me, I know I have a few Nat Parks and Nat Forests nearby that are relatively traffic free, so if I wanted that sort of riding, I could get to it and feel "safe".  It is definitely one reason gravel has taken off - fewer cars.  

Hope you find something, but at least he is still pretty active and this COVID stuff will be over eventually.

No license yet.  He has been working at a local ice cream place.  That's been keeping him somewhat busy.  And school is starting.  He and his coach talked.  A lot.  They've decided no more coaching for a few months at least.  Get through Xc season.  I want him to take the winter off riding and see if it excites him again in the spring.  Maybe crits will roll around and get him wanting to ride again?

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I wouldn’t sweat it too much. If he’s running and lifting he’s still motivated to do something.

When my son suddenly quit baseball I had a hard time with it but I came to realize that you can’t want it for them.  Give it some time, he may get back into it. Have the bike & kit at the ready but probably a good idea not to push.

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9 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

It really is.  See my response above about riding with people.

Yup, I get it. Too bad you weren't near me, lots of trails and dirt roads w/ minimal traffic. Some of our 30 mile gravel rides, we may only see 3 cars. I can go on a 50 mile ride from my house and do it w/ only about 10 miles on road. And I could probably keep up w/ him :D maybe :scratchhead:

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55 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

It breaks my heart because he loved the bike so much.  I wish I could help.

Maybe just tell him to ride for transportation and try not to go fast and just enjoy it.  Telling him not to go fast will certainly cause him to go fast, because teenagers.

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4 minutes ago, bikeman564™ said:

Yup, I get it. Too bad you weren't near me, lots of trails and dirt roads w/ minimal traffic. Some of our 30 mile gravel rides, we may only see 3 cars. I can go on a 50 mile ride from my house and do it w/ only about 10 miles on road. And I could probably keep up w/ him :D maybe :scratchhead:

:)  Youngsters have that crazy kid energy.  You gotta grind 'em down :D

18 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

No license yet.  He has been working at a local ice cream place.  That's been keeping him somewhat busy.  And school is starting.  He and his coach talked.  A lot.  They've decided no more coaching for a few months at least.  Get through Xc season.  I want him to take the winter off riding and see if it excites him again in the spring.  Maybe crits will roll around and get him wanting to ride again?

How far are from somewhere like Spring Valley/Tucker Lake:

https://gravelmap.com/route/81626-spring-valley#13.48/38.48445/-86.54665

...or Leavenworth/Pilot Knob:

https://gravelmap.com/route/83253-leavenworth-gravel-route#11.59/38.266/-86.3582

It might be fun to check the map on gravelmaps, Strava, RIde with GPS, etc, and see what shows up near you and make an outing around a ride.  That Tucker Lake one looks like the family could go, he could get some laps, and the rest could hang out.  Even camp (glamp)?

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5 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

:)  Youngsters have that crazy kid energy.  You gotta grind 'em down :D

 

True dat. I ride w/ a couple and their son, who is probably 17-18 now. He's fast AF. Although I also know people that are my age and can ride 20+ average for a century...not I.

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I think some of these posts are well meaning but get into that “wanting it for him” deal.  If G man becomes a great distance runner, maybe parlays that into a college career and lives the next 60 years as a successful career thanks to running is that a bad thing?  

Reminds me of a baseball dad who was pissed his son chose volleyball over baseball.  The kid went on to play at freaking Stanford and got a hell of an education while playing the sport HE loved, not his dad... This is not a bad thing.

Encourage, don’t push and if it’s a phase he’ll come back to it. If not, he may not ever.  I hate to say it but Em might hang up her cleats well before you think she should.  It happens and it’s OK.

You can’t want it for them.

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1 hour ago, Razors Edge said:

:)  Youngsters have that crazy kid energy.  You gotta grind 'em down :D

How far are from somewhere like Spring Valley/Tucker Lake:

https://gravelmap.com/route/81626-spring-valley#13.48/38.48445/-86.54665

...or Leavenworth/Pilot Knob:

https://gravelmap.com/route/83253-leavenworth-gravel-route#11.59/38.266/-86.3582

It might be fun to check the map on gravelmaps, Strava, RIde with GPS, etc, and see what shows up near you and make an outing around a ride.  That Tucker Lake one looks like the family could go, he could get some laps, and the rest could hang out.  Even camp (glamp)?

We are not far from leavenworth.  Maybe 45 min?  I am going to try and drag him out to some gravel.  Change of scenery.  And god knows I could use a good ride.  

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43 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

I think some of these posts are well meaning but get into that “wanting it for him” deal.  If G man becomes a great distance runner, maybe parlays that into a college career and lives the next 60 years as a successful career thanks to running is that a bad thing?  

Reminds me of a baseball dad who was pissed his son chose volleyball over baseball.  The kid went on to play at freaking Stanford and got a hell of an education while playing the sport HE loved, not his dad... This is not a bad thing.

Encourage, don’t push and if it’s a phase he’ll come back to it. If not, he may not ever.  I hate to say it but Em might hang up her cleats well before you think she should.  It happens and it’s OK.

You can’t want it for them.

I don't want it for him.  Not at all.  I only want it for him in the sense that I know how much he enjoyed the bike.  He loved to ride.  He followed all of the big riders on instagram and would converse with them.  He watched racing.  He lived for it.  And now that's all gone because of not competing.  I just don't want him to give up on something that brought so much joy to him.  

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1 minute ago, Parr8hed said:

I don't want it for him.  Not at all.  I only want it for him in the sense that I know how much he enjoyed the bike.  He loved to ride.  He followed all of the big riders on instagram and would converse with them.  He watched racing.  He lived for it.  And now that's all gone because of not competing.  I just don't want him to give up on something that brought so much joy to him.  

I wonder if he loved to compete more than he loved to ride?  Maybe running provides that outlet too?

I know it’s hard to watch them move on from something they once loved but it happens sometimes.  Maybe he’ll come back to it over time, he’s still young.

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1 minute ago, ChrisL said:

I wonder if he loved to compete more than he loved to ride?  Maybe running provides that outlet too?

I know it’s hard to watch them move on from something they once loved but it happens sometimes.  Maybe he’ll come back to it over time, he’s still young.

Without a doubt he loved the competition.  He was never good at ball/team sports.  I think the bike let him compete.  

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I get where G is at. I was dealing with certain levels of depression because all rides and races had been cancelled. Out of the blue, I saw the YMCA in a nearby town was having a sprint tri. I offered to be the bike if anyone was a available for a team. Just to get to competitive juices flowing again was great! Covid is still causing me to deal with other issues, but that little change of scenery on the bike did a world of good!

Wish you were near. We have several gravel routes around here. 

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3 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

I wonder if he loved to compete more than he loved to ride?  Maybe running provides that outlet too?

I know it’s hard to watch them move on from something they once loved but it happens sometimes.  Maybe he’ll come back to it over time, he’s still young.

As a kids grows I believe it's about the experiences.  My kids had different interests but all of them enjoyed horses.  They took their interest in horses in different directions.  They had different interests in sports - basketball, soccer or running.  They had different interests in the arts - music, painting, drawing.  Our job was to support those interests and help develop them to the extent that our girls were interested.  My job was never to offer advice without a request but to always offer support.  What was obvious was that each of the 3 had changing interests over time and all of it made them into the adults that are.

If G-man never gets on a bike again (but I'm pretty sure he will) the lessons he learned and the memories you helped him make will be with him forever and have become part of the basis for the adult he will be.

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13 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

Without a doubt he loved the competition.  He was never good at ball/team sports.  I think the bike let him compete.  

I don't compete, but I never had an interest in other typical sports. So biking to me is it :)  Having ridden for years, I go thru threw slumps.

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Seems like the clear message (that you already know) is listen to him, support him, and respect the direction he goes.  I think, as his dad, you'll sense if you are pushing to hard, but keep in mind we have blind spots. 

I hope he finds his "thing", but at least he is healthy and active, so even if it is evil running, it is something good for him.  And, of course, folks often return to cycling after long layoffs and re-ignite their love for it (sometimes decades later).

And PRO CYCLING IS ON!!!  :D  I'm up to my eyeballs right now in pro races, so maybe he'll get some joy from that.

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