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Major life change in the middle of a pandemic and unstable economy


Dottleshead

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No.  Honestly I would buy a camper.  Even if I knew that I was going to sell it later.  My sister and her family moved in with my parents for a few months that turned into almost a year.  No way in hell I would do that to myself or either of our parents.  Worst case scenario you take a small hit on a camper, but these days they are in high demand.  If you buy it right you would probably stand to make a few bucks when you sell.  Best case scenario you discover a new hobby and keep the camper.

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If you wait for them”right” time, it will never be right and you will have regret. If you want out of your current house do it. Seems like you have already bought a new house so don’t let current anxiety keep you from a brighter future. And to answer your original question, I would have NEVER moved in wth my in-laws.  I would have done a camper, a rental apartment, or a tent in a homeless camp before that. 

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1 hour ago, Dottles said:

My wife and I will be putting our house up for sale in 2-3 weeks and moving in with her mother before landing in another county.  You'd do it, right??

Some people move every few years, some once or twice in a lifetime, so a "big life change" for some is a "what's the big deal?" situation for others.  Maybe you can channel the latter's attitude, and make this a normal transaction?

Is the MiL charging you rent?

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I guess a lot depends on how well you get along with your mother in law.  It can be hard if you're used to living on your own because you're in someone else's house and really have to consider how the things you like to do impact someone else. Even things that are perfectly reasonable may be constrained because they impact others.

But if you get along well with her, it can be a good way to help achieve your other goals.  Sometimes a sacrifice is necessary to achieve a bigger goal and it's nice that she wants to support you in this goal.

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22 minutes ago, Dottles said:

Which part?

All.

I'm at a point where change in my life is almost always bad.  I can afford what I've got and I don't need any more problems.  First the well failed and now the septic may be in trouble.  Hopefully, (fingers crossed, toes crossed) it's a simple d box replacement or one new line add as mentioned above along with a root removal.

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4 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

All.

I'm at a point where change in my life is almost always bad.  I can afford what I've got and I don't need any more problems.  First the well failed and now the septic may be in trouble.  Hopefully, (fingers crossed, toes crossed) it's a simple d box replacement or one new line add as mentioned above along with a root removal.

Most plumbing issues can be fixed with $$$, so you are okay.

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24 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Some people move every few years, some once or twice in a lifetime, so a "big life change" for some is a "what's the big deal?" situation for others.  Maybe you can channel the latter's attitude, and make this a normal transaction?

Is the MiL charging you rent?

I'm fine w/ moving and my wife insists on paying her mom rent but that won't happen until after we close.  Until then, I'm saving as much as I can.

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15 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

All.

I'm at a point where change in my life is almost always bad.  I can afford what I've got and I don't need any more problems.  First the well failed and now the septic may be in trouble.  Hopefully, (fingers crossed, toes crossed) it's a simple d box replacement or one new line add as mentioned above along with a root removal.

Good luck Max.  That stuff always seems to crop up.  I had a water line that needed replacement.  I had a drainage issue in the front of my house.  i just had to have the septic pumped and a new roof.  When we moved in I put in $4000 on electric work.  I had to install two flues and have some chimney work. But then I needed the stoves.  But there still needs concrete repoured and more drainage issues and an old driveway that has seen it's better days. Quite honestly, I'm expecting the next foot to drop and I'm looking forward to getting outta here for that reason.  And yet, a funny thing happens, after putting all that work and expense into it, I've become fondly attached to it.  While I'm excited to leave, I'm sad to see it go.

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4 minutes ago, Dottles said:

I'm fine w/ moving and my wife insists on paying her mom rent but that won't happen until after we close.  Until then, I'm saving as much as I can.

So you're all good!  Well, except the actually moving shit part. That sucks. Always.

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12 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

You can never market time, unless you own a crystal ball.  I don't own one.  Do you?

I am thinking that a lack of inventory will pull us up higher into early next year.  

If it drops, we may have to add some time to our working years.  No biggie.

That's my thinking.  And if I lose my job, I'd have to panic sell my current place anyway.  At least where I'm going should provide us some solitude and a smaller mortgage to limp along longer if I need to.

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Just now, Dirtyhip said:

I am excited to pack up.  I look forward to putting things into a new place.  

Not looking forward to moving the heavy things.  We may have to hire a helper.

We are going to hire helpers.  It's a two stop move.  One from the house to storage.  Another from storage to the new house.  I'll pay for them to put it up in storage and then probably piece meal the rest at my leisure.  But to get us out of here faster to put it on the market faster is the game plan.  And golly, I don't have to move the heavy crap!

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1 minute ago, Dottles said:

We are going to hire helpers.  It's a two stop move.  One from the house to storage.  Another from storage to the new house.  I'll pay for them to put it up in storage and then probably piece meal the rest at my leisure.  But to get us out of here faster to put it on the market faster is the game plan.  And golly, I don't have to move the heavy crap!

We will move our stuff to a container box, for a short duration.  We will be living at the build site, and taking days here and there to flee to a friend's home.  My pal said we can move in, but I only want to use that invite a little bit.  Love her way too much to wear out the welcome.

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1 hour ago, Parr8hed said:

No.  Honestly I would buy a camper.  Even if I knew that I was going to sell it later.  My sister and her family moved in with my parents for a few months that turned into almost a year.  No way in hell I would do that to myself or either of our parents.  Worst case scenario you take a small hit on a camper, but these days they are in high demand.  If you buy it right you would probably stand to make a few bucks when you sell.  Best case scenario you discover a new hobby and keep the camper.

By the way, I would consider this but far tougher sell on my wife.  Yet, I'm not crossing it off the list.  The thing is I need to work remotely and the size of my monitor would take up the entire dining area.  

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No way no how I’m moving in with my MIL.   I might be able to handle a few weeks with FIL but he’s in FL.  If this happened say 15 years ago we could handle living with my mom for a few months. Several of my siblings and nephews & nieces did it at one time or another when she was still alive.    

I don’t currently have a safety net, we are the safety net so we’d have to figure something else out.

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27 minutes ago, sheep_herder said:

Not sure this fits his personality!!!:rolleyes:

That obvious, huh??!

21 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I think I could live with anyone. Not sure everyone could live with me.

Ditto.  I don't go into another's house and try to change them.  I'm the one who has to adapt and change.  I'm the guest.

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2 minutes ago, Dottles said:

 I don't go into another's house and try to change them.  I'm the one who has to adapt and change.  I'm the guest.

That's the part of living with someone else that can be  hard for me.  I'm trying so hard not to be a bad houseguest that I don't relax.  But you know this is for a limited period of time, and you're doing this to help achieve a bigger goal.  Keeping that goal in mind can help keep you motivated, especially when you know it's not forever.

I think it's really nice that she wants to invite you and I'm sure it will be fine.

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4 hours ago, Dottles said:

My wife and I will be putting our house up for sale in 2-3 weeks and moving in with her mother before landing in another county.  You'd do it, right??

No...    We'd have to move to a cemetery.  Both of our mothers have passed.  

I like @Parr8hed's idea about buying a camper.   You'd just need to find a place to park it and plug in to power, water and sewer too.  (or don't flush too often)

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53 minutes ago, Dottles said:

That obvious, huh??!

Ditto.  I don't go into another's house and try to change them.  I'm the one who has to adapt and change.  I'm the guest.

Maybe keep to the basement luxury.  If careful, it might be good time, especially for your wife, in perhaps adding something for her relationship with mother. You are doing it for....your wife.  Her mother is not geting any younger.  It might the only time when her mother is still relatively healthy.

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37 minutes ago, Bikeguy said:

No...    We'd have to move to a cemetery.  Both of our mothers have passed.  

I like @Parr8hed's idea about buying a camper.   You'd just need to find a place to park it and plug in to power, water and sewer too.  (or don't flush too often)

We are gonna have a paid porta potty at the site.  I think it will be about 100 a month.  It's gonna be so much fun.  :unsure:

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5 hours ago, Parr8hed said:

No.  Honestly I would buy a camper.  Even if I knew that I was going to sell it later.  My sister and her family moved in with my parents for a few months that turned into almost a year.  No way in hell I would do that to myself or either of our parents.  Worst case scenario you take a small hit on a camper, but these days they are in high demand.  If you buy it right you would probably stand to make a few bucks when you sell.  Best case scenario you discover a new hobby and keep the camper.

This...

And in the process as you travel about, you may find a different county, or even a different State, that you want to settle in.

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42 minutes ago, Prophet Zacharia said:

In the medical field, they say there’s money in shit. But somehow the doctors and plumbers don’t get it directly from the waste,

Maybe in our lifetime they will.   Wait till we have to pay them for testing before we flush.

https://www.cnn.com/2014/10/30/health/smart-sewage-to-detect-disease-outbreaks/index.html

But... that won't help @Dottles plan his move. 

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6 hours ago, maddmaxx said:

Given the time of year, how cold will that seat get before the house is done.

...in MN with the hippies on teh organic vegetable farm, we cut out an outhouse seat from styrofoam. You have to be careful with those, though. Styrofoam is hard to wash. It's cheap enough so you can just cut out another one, though.

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