Jump to content

So, I thought you’d like to be informed.


MoseySusan
 Share

Recommended Posts

1 minute ago, roadsue said:

mr. and I celebrated 28 years together this past Saturday. But, I almost took out a lease on an apartment last week Monday, I was so done with being called mentally ill in various ways. But, that argument faded and then passed. It’s complicated. We’re going forward with kitchen remodel plans. Living year 29 together. 

Stuff happens.  I've been married since 1973 to the same woman.  Not every day is perfect.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

You seem mentally sound to all of us, and I am sure it is just a passing thing!

It’s the same struggle, different day. #1 pisses off mr., I refuse to get involved, mr. calls me the mental illness de jour. Three days later, they sort it out. 

  • Hugs 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, roadsue said:

It’s the same struggle, different day. #1 pisses off mr., I refuse to get involved, mr. calls me the mental illness de jour. Three days later, they sort it out. 

Hmm, can you gift him the diagnostic handbook for mental illnesses and make him prove his point?  You could also use it to point out ways that he is crazy, too.

Alternately, kick him in the nads when he says shit like that.

  • Like 1
  • Awesome 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

31 minutes ago, roadsue said:

It’s the same struggle, different day. #1 pisses off mr., I refuse to get involved, mr. calls me the mental illness de jour. Three days later, they sort it out. 

Sounds similar with WOChrisL and our son.  She gets mad at him and then goes into hyper drive. Son tunes her out until he can’t take it and then he goes supersonic.  ChrisL steps back & let’s them sort it out, I ain’t getting in the middle of it.

Most if the time my wife has a valid gripe, it’s the approach that sets it whole debacle in motion...

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Hmm, can you gift him the diagnostic handbook for mental illnesses and make him prove his point?  You could also use it to point out ways that he is crazy, too.

Alternately, kick him in the nads when he says shit like that.

I’m not going anywhere near the name calling, except a firm “fuck you.” Not very gracious of me. 
 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

56 minutes ago, roadsue said:

It’s the same struggle, different day. #1 pisses off mr., I refuse to get involved, mr. calls me the mental illness de jour. Three days later, they sort it out. 

ohh, I thought you may have corrected his grammar. Red pens leave a mark

Happy Anniversary....and many more

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Philander Seabury said:

I always just say no to home renovations!

Meh. It's no problem. She steps back and lets me do it. I say bad words in multiple languages and have been known to throw things (and make the dog puke), but she just rides it out like battening down for a hurricane.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

Our marriage seems very blissful to people around us.  That being said, there were some tense moments when we worked on this house. It was very hard, and that time was some of the biggest fights we ever had.

Living with someone is hard.  Or easy.  It's just part of the human condition. My marriage is blissful too but this last year has been stressful and we're taking steps to try and eliminate the stress by making some life changing moves in the middle of a pandemic and unstable economy.  Hey, we're swinging for the fences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, Dottles said:

Living with someone is hard.  Or easy.  It's just part of the human condition. My marriage is blissful too but this last year has been stressful and we're taking steps to try and eliminate the stress by making some life changing moves in the middle of a pandemic and unstable economy.  Hey, we're swinging for the fences.

You’re swingers? Who knew:dontknow:

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, roadsue said:

I was so done with being called mentally ill in various ways.

It's very interesting to listen to some of the things you say "automatically" - almost as default conversation filler.  I know I often go to "crazy", "nuts", "insane", or other derivations of mentally ill.  Very rarely are they meant as truth.  Often some are in jest, some are in amazement, or some are just filler when no real thought is being put into a reply.  But my wife is now sensitive to that sort of language (partly due to her mother who developed some form of dementia for a year or two prior to dying), and she will call me out - sometimes angrily (and justified) - when she detects me using those words in conversation with her. 

An example: She says: "I just did an exercise class for an hour but I'm gonna also try this intense class out now."  I say "Man, you're crazy!" (a total "filler" response). She responds (with some edge in her voice) "I am NOT crazy."  And she is correct :)  But I hide the knives anyway :whistle:

But, yes, all words have meaning. Some words have "special" meanings. And words should be carefully considered especially with folks you love.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

It's very interesting to listen to some of the things you say "automatically" - almost as default conversation filler.  I know I often go to "crazy", "nuts", "insane", or other derivations of mentally ill.  Very rarely are they meant as truth.  Often some are in jest, some are in amazement, or some are just filler when no real thought is being put into a reply.  But my wife is now sensitive to that sort of language (partly due to her mother who developed some form of dementia for a year or two prior to dying), and she will call me out - sometimes angrily (and justified) - when she detects me using those words in conversation with her. 

An example: She says: "I just did an exercise class for an hour but I'm gonna also try this intense class out now."  I say "Man, you're crazy!" (a total "filler" response). She responds (with some edge in her voice) "I am NOT crazy."  And she is correct :)  But I hide the knives anyway :whistle:

But, yes, all words have meaning. Some words have "special" meanings. And words should be carefully considered especially with folks you love.

Oh just admit it.  You think you're intellectually superior.  Meh.  The truth will set you free!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Dottles said:

Living with someone is hard.  Or easy.  It's just part of the human condition. My marriage is blissful too but this last year has been stressful and we're taking steps to try and eliminate the stress by making some life changing moves in the middle of a pandemic and unstable economy.  Hey, we're swinging for the fences.

Living in an 18 ft trailer full time is gonna be interesting.   We have been through a lot.  

Hopefully, it will be seamless, and we can start early enough to just move in, after we sell.  Not sure that is going to work though.  Building a home is a slow process.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Dottles said:

Oh just admit it.  You think you're intellectually superior.  Meh.  The truth will set you free!

Let me add that one of the easiest ways to prove intellectual inferiority or immaturity is to use words like "dumb", "stupid", or "idiot" with regularity.  Not in the "Kzoo is a dolt" Cafe jest mode, but in the real sense where a person can't actually come up with a good argument so they just go straight to the dumb/stupid/idiotic route.  That says way more about the speaker than the "target", most if it unflattering.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Dirtyhip said:

Living in an 18 ft trailer full time is gonna be interesting.   We have been through a lot.  

Hopefully, it will be seamless, and we can start early enough to just move in, after we sell.  Not sure that is going to work though.  Building a home is a slow process.

Yeah.  You have a lot on your plate.  Sometimes just take a forced break.  I love my wife and I know she loves me -- but things can get heavy or stressful or irritating or just too much sometimes -- and the only thing required is/was some space.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

Living in an 18 ft trailer full time is gonna be interesting.   We have been through a lot.  

Hopefully, it will be seamless, and we can start early enough to just move in, after we sell.  Not sure that is going to work though.  Building a home is a slow process.

Friends from college lived in a trailer while building a log cabin house in the mountains near Flagstaff. They had never been so close to divorce even after surviving their early years of marriage in a house with no running water. She said big picture goals kept them going. 
 

mr. and I have already been through home remodel. It’s the adulthood of our children that causes the most strife. 

  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, roadsue said:

 It’s the adulthood of our children that causes the most strife. 

Why?   They are adult, what is there to argue about? 

I thought everybody was cool and brought great and different things to the table.  Please tell Mr. and #1 and #2 I said hello.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Why?   They are adult, what is there to argue about? 

I thought everybody was cool and brought great and different things to the table.  Please tell Mr. and #1 and #2 I said hello.

 

I will. 
mr. gets this notion that as “the dad” he should have status as the primary influence in his children’s lives. His knickers get twisted at the suggestion that #1 listens to other people. Last Sunday, mr. lost it when I said the union president helped #1 to deal with a situation at work. According to “the dad,” that situation wouldn’t have been a thing if #1 had just done what he said in the first place, and my codependent personality interferes with #1 really listening to the dad, the source of all wisdom for living right. 
 

Yes. I’m still stinging from the argument. 

  • Hugs 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, roadsue said:

should have

This will get anyone into trouble, as the world seldom does what someone thinks it should do.  Expectations are always going to be problematic, you will have to ask him why the world should follow his plot and script.  Maybe not, though, it might spark another argument.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

25 minutes ago, roadsue said:

I will. 
mr. gets this notion that as “the dad” he should have status as the primary influence in his children’s lives. His knickers get twisted at the suggestion that #1 listens to other people. Last Sunday, mr. lost it when I said the union president helped #1 to deal with a situation at work. According to “the dad,” that situation wouldn’t have been a thing if #1 had just done what he said in the first place, and my codependent personality interferes with #1 really listening to the dad, the source of all wisdom for living right. 
 

Yes. I’m still stinging from the argument. 

Man you women sure hold a grudge! (ducks head & runs away!) 

I actually hold the exact opposite view of your husband. If you want my advice I’ll give it but I really prefer you figure shit out on your own.  My dad passed when I was young and my mom was an emotional wreck through my teen years. I had to figure shit out on my own ever since I was 14,,,  

My wife tends to give the unwanted advice. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Randomguy said:

This will get anyone into trouble, as the world seldom does what someone thinks it should do.  Expectations are always going to be problematic, you will have to ask him why the world should follow his plot and script.  Maybe not, though, it might spark another argument.

...nttawwt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Randomguy said:

This will get anyone into trouble, as the world seldom does what someone thinks it should do.  Expectations are always going to be problematic, you will have to ask him why the world should follow his plot and script.  Maybe not, though, it might spark another argument.

...cripes, where do you get off giving advice on marriage and arguments and expectations ?  You've only been divorced once, for the love of god. :rolleyes:

If anyone should be in here giving advice on this, it's the guy who is on his third marriage.  Here's my advice: if you are arguing mostly about your adult kids, at least you don't have to stay together for the sake of the children.  :happyanim:

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Kzoo said:

OK now I'm offended.

#triggered

...day before yesterday I realized that nothing triggers me any more. 

 

My trigger neural complex has been so overloaded since 2016, that something burned out in the synapse pathways.

I figured I'd put this in here, because the topic is "So, I thought you'd like to be informed."

  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...