Paging all participants to the emergency medical phone.

[donkpow]

Prepping some shallots for lunch, I removed a chunk of flesh from my left index finger. Within a half hour, a knuckle not directly associated with my index finger swelled up like a golf ball. What's up with that, huh?

[Guest]

You need to amputate immediately 

[jsharr ★]

Why do you have a putty knife in your kitchen?

[donkpow]

Just now, jsharr said:

Why do you have a putty knife in your kitchen?

Because it is made of plastic.

[bikeman564™]

I'm an engineer

[jsharr ★]

Did it bleed alot?  Lots of bleeding can cause swelling, but usually in the area of the cut.

A cut tendon can cause swelling, but doubt that is happening due to location.

I am thinking something on the knife got into your system?

Benadryl?

The last thing you should do is seek competent medical advice from a trained medical professional.

 

[jsharr ★]

1 minute ago, bikeman564™ said:

I'm an engineer

This qualifies you to give medical advice on an internet bicycle forum that never talks about bikes.

[donkpow]

1 minute ago, jsharr said:

Did it bleed alot?  Lots of bleeding can cause swelling, but usually in the area of the cut.

A cut tendon can cause swelling, but doubt that is happening due to location.

I am thinking something on the knife got into your system?

Benadryl?

The last thing you should is seek competent medical advice.

Cold pack at this moment. We'll see.

[jsharr ★]

If you were in the armed forces they would tell you to change your socks and drink water.  Have you tried that?

[bikeman564™]

5 minutes ago, jsharr said:

This qualifies you to give medical advice on an internet bicycle forum that never talks about bikes.

good point

[donkpow]

I'm thinking I should have a cup of coffee and lie down. Do you think that will help?

[Kzoo]

9 minutes ago, donkpow said:

I'm thinking I should have a cup of coffee and lie down. Do you think that will help?

It sure would help me but coffee is in short supply here.

I wonder if @jsharr heard that... Coffee is in short supply here.

 

[jsharr ★]

1 minute ago, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

It sure would help me but coffee is in short supply here.

I wonder if @jsharr heard that... Coffee is in short supply here.

 

I seem to vaguely recall a certain someone leaving me this missive earlier today

BMBM

[Kzoo]

1 minute ago, jsharr said:

I seem to vaguely recall a certain someone leaving me this missive earlier today

BMBM

Good memory from like 10 minutes ago.

[2Far ★]

Toomah!

[Mr. Silly]

Do you have any leaches?  You could use leaches to suck the swelling down.

[jsharr ★]

27 minutes ago, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

It sure would help me but coffee is in short supply here.

I wonder if @jsharr heard that... Coffee is in short supply here.

 

So, IF, and that is a big IF, I were to send you coffee, would you prefer whole bean or ground on the off chance that Brandon just told me he is roasting Sunday and the even more remote chance that I decided to up my order with him.....

[Kzoo]

1 minute ago, jsharr said:

So, IF, and that is a big IF, I were to send you coffee, would you prefer whole bean or ground on the off chance that Brandon just told me he is roasting Sunday and the even more remote chance that I decided to up my order with him.....

Neither thanks.  I appreciate the coffee you did send and enjoyed drinking it.  If I got more coffee from you I would feel bad about trying to offend you.  Well, at least for a little while.  And I know you don't want me to feel bad...

[jsharr ★]

1 minute ago, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

Neither thanks.  I appreciate the coffee you did send and enjoyed drinking it.  If I got more coffee from you I would feel bad about trying to offend you.  Well, at least for a little while.  And I know you don't want me to feel bad...

Okay, so ground it is then.

[Razors Edge ★]

8 minutes ago, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

And I know you don't want me to feel bad...

Won't MSU keep you topped up on "feeling bad"?  Why add to your woes?

[Kzoo]

20 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Won't MSU keep you topped up on "feeling bad"?  Why add to your woes?

Maybe.  Haven't cared to pay attention.

 

[maddmaxx ★]

When you cut yourself did you jump and bang the hand but didn't know it at the time because of pain in the finger.

 

If not, that bleeder is on it's way to your heart.  I'm calling your stuff before anyone else.

[Kirby]

If the swelling hasn't gone away, you could try an online doctor visit.   That might get you some real advice without having to go to an urgent care.  Not sure if your insurance has an online service, but even if it's not covered by your insurance, you can "see" someone quickly for around $70

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Kirby said:

If the swelling hasn't gone away, you could try an online doctor visit.   That might get you some real advice without having to go to an urgent care.

At this time of day it's almost easier to check in to a Holiday Inn Express for the night.  Prolly cheaper too.

[Kzoo]

14 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

I'm calling your stuff before anyone else.

Pfffft.  We already dealt with this in another thread.  Go back to sleep.

 

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

Pfffft.  We already dealt with this in another thread.  Go back to sleep.

 

What thread is that.  Some threads don't quite get the attention that they used to.

[Kzoo]

1 minute ago, maddmaxx said:

What thread is that.  Some threads don't quite get the attention that they used to.

"search"  The thread in question got all the attention it needed.  Issue settled.  I'm hooking up the trailer now since we all know Donk is short lived.

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

"search"  The thread in question got all the attention it needed.  Issue settled.  I'm hooking up the trailer now since we all know Donk is short lived.

Nope.  For some reason that thread is still dead to me.

[Kzoo]

1 minute ago, maddmaxx said:

Nope.  For some reason that thread is still dead to me.

Careful, at you age you should be carful using the word dead.

 

[Kirby]

2 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

At this time of day it's almost easier to check in to a Holiday Inn Express for the night.  Prolly cheaper too.

My insurance subscribes to an online service that literally has doctors available pretty much on call.  You can also see the doctor's name in advance so you can check their credentials before selecting them.   It's not useful for a lot of conditions, but it might work for this sort of thing.  My old insurance also had a nurses' hot line where you could call someone for free and talk to them. 

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Square Wheels Kzoo said:

Careful, at you age you should be carful using the word dead.

 

 

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Kirby said:

My insurance subscribes to an online service that literally has doctors available pretty much on call.  You can also see the doctor's name in advance so you can check their credentials before selecting them.   It's not useful for a lot of conditions, but it might work for this sort of thing.  My old insurance also had a nurses' hot line where you could call someone for free and talk to them. 

Ohhhhh.  I canz talk to nurses for free?

[Mr. Silly]

30 minutes ago, Kirby said:

  My old insurance also had a nurses' hot line where you could call someone for free and talk to them. 

Are they hot?

[jsharr ★]

2 hours ago, Mr. Grumpy said:

Do you have any leaches?  You could use leaches to suck the swelling down.

I see you are a patient of Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber.

Sorry for the blurry picture.  Medieval cameras were not very good.  Not even one megapixel back then.

[Kzoo]

43 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

 

 

See you Thursday.

 

[jsharr ★]

13 minutes ago, Mr. Grumpy said:

Are they hot?

You do the best @Parr8hed impersonation!  What other forum members can you impersonate?

[Randomguy]

2 hours ago, donkpow said:

Prepping some shallots for lunch, I removed a chunk of flesh from my left index finger. Within a half hour, a knuckle not directly associated with my index finger swelled up like a golf ball. What's up with that, huh?

Have you tried the bacon cure yet?

 

[Longjohn ★]

8 hours ago, Kirby said:

also had a nurses' hot line where you could call someone for free and talk to them. 

I usually prefer to talk to nurses. My oncologist is hot, I like talking to her.

Where’s Dr. Mickin? He needs to weigh in on this medical emergency.

When I was having a heart attack I called my wife’s hospice nurse.

[Page Turner]

...just go to sleep and see what it looks like in the morning.

[Prophet Zacharia]

14 hours ago, Mr. Grumpy said:

Are they hot?

Why else would they call it a “hotline”? But they usually change by the minute for the phone calls.

[Parr8hed]

I got nothin.

[Ralphie ★]

17 hours ago, jsharr said:

If you were in the armed forces they would tell you to change your socks and drink water.  Have you tried that?

And I don’t see that longjohn has recommended buying a new bike yet, but I just started reading the thread so I ‘spect it any time now.

 

[Ralphie ★]

6 hours ago, Longjohn said:

When I was having a heart attack I called my wife’s hospice nurse.

And she said call 911, or did you drive yourself to the horse spittle?

[donkpow]

15 hours ago, Kirby said:

My insurance subscribes to an online service that literally has doctors available pretty much on call.  You can also see the doctor's name in advance so you can check their credentials before selecting them.   It's not useful for a lot of conditions, but it might work for this sort of thing.  My old insurance also had a nurses' hot line where you could call someone for free and talk to them. 

I am looking for an online x-ray service. Should be any time now.

[maddmaxx ★]

2 minutes ago, donkpow said:

I am looking for an online x-ray service. Should be any time now.

Easy to do.  Just put the film plate behind the area of interest and stand next to one of your monitors for a few minutes.

[Longjohn ★]

1 hour ago, Philander Seabury said:

And she said call 911, or did you drive yourself to the horse spittle?

I called my brother and he drove me to the horse spittle and they ran a bunch of tests, admitted me over night and then ran some more tests before shipping me off by ambulance to another horse spittle. Still getting bills from that first horse spittle. The second horse spittle never sent me a bill, they sent me a statement saying all $90,600 had been paid by my insurance. Heart attacks ain’t cheap, between the two horse spittles it was $100,000.

[Longjohn ★]

18 hours ago, donkpow said:

Prepping some shallots for lunch, I removed a chunk of flesh from my left index finger. Within a half hour, a knuckle not directly associated with my index finger swelled up like a golf ball. What's up with that, huh?

How is the hand this morning? Is it still puffed up? You might need to go buy yourself a new bike. 

[MoseySusan]

Update @donkpow ?

[2Far ★]

1 hour ago, donkpow said:

I am looking for an online x-ray service. Should be any time now.

I found one, but they wanted me to fax them cash. I don't have a fax machine anymore.

[donkpow]

13 minutes ago, roadsue said:

Update @donkpow ?

The swelling has subsided appreciably. It appears the swelling was probably a bleed of some sort since the area has started to look more like a bruise. There is no indication on the skin of some sort of trauma like impact, burn, cut, etc. I have arthritis in my hands. It's possible I reacted to the cut to the point that some internal injury occurred.  I don't know what happened but as long it clears up, I will carry on. Keyboard operations is tedious with the injured index finger.