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Should I Go?


ChrisL

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Sister #3 who I call bitch sister is in town this week and wants to have a “girls” lunch with my wife & daughter. Daughter is working so can’t do lunch so they are getting together for sushi tomorrow after my daughter gets off work.  

Backstory is this sister basically told the entire family to fuck off and backed out of a family picture we took in August as she has a beef with several of the other sisters.   She often disinvites the brothers to family events as she doesn’t want men there. I haven’t seen her in about 2 years and really don’t miss her... She makes every family gathering difficult.  She really wants to see my daughter as she and her daughter are close and tolerates my wife “I don’t know why you have stayed with that ass hole so long”.  Yeah, she said that to her once...

So since it’s a dinner now, she tells my wife & daughter, well I guess Chris can come then... As outdoor seating is limited WOChrisL is making reservations & asked if I wanted to go. I told her to keep it a girls thing but part of me thinks I should see her as who knows when I will see her again if ever.. 

As it stands now I’m out, what says you in or out?

 

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2 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Sister #3 who I call bitch sister is in town this week and wants to have a “girls” lunch with my wife & daughter. Daughter is working so can’t do lunch so they are getting together for sushi tomorrow after my daughter gets off work.  

Backstory is this sister basically told the entire family to fuck off and backed out of a family picture we took in August as she has a beef with several of the other sisters.   She often disinvites the brothers to family events as she doesn’t want men there. I haven’t seen her in about 2 years and really don’t miss her... She makes every family gathering difficult.  She really wants to see my daughter as she and her daughter are close and tolerates my wife “I don’t know why you have stayed with that ass hole so long”.  Yeah, she said that to her once...

So since it’s a dinner now, she tells my wife & daughter, well I guess Chris can come then... As outdoor seating is limited WOChrisL is making reservations & asked if I wanted to go. I told her to keep it a girls thing but part of me thinks I should see her as who knows when I will see her again if ever.. 

As it stands now I’m out, what says you in or out?

 

I'd quote covid rules and stay the fuck home.

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14 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Sister #3 who I call bitch sister is in town this week and wants to have a “girls” lunch with my wife & daughter. Daughter is working so can’t do lunch so they are getting together for sushi tomorrow after my daughter gets off work.  

Backstory is this sister basically told the entire family to fuck off and backed out of a family picture we took in August as she has a beef with several of the other sisters.   She often disinvites the brothers to family events as she doesn’t want men there. I haven’t seen her in about 2 years and really don’t miss her... She makes every family gathering difficult.  She really wants to see my daughter as she and her daughter are close and tolerates my wife “I don’t know why you have stayed with that ass hole so long”.  Yeah, she said that to her once...

So since it’s a dinner now, she tells my wife & daughter, well I guess Chris can come then... As outdoor seating is limited WOChrisL is making reservations & asked if I wanted to go. I told her to keep it a girls thing but part of me thinks I should see her as who knows when I will see her again if ever.. 

As it stands now I’m out, what says you in or out?

 

Sit the fuck out and tell her to fuck off.

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it's hard for me to relate because I really like both my sisters, but simply having the same genetics is no reason to put up with people who treat you badly.   I can understand overlooking some faults in relatives, I actually think that's a necessary quality.  But that doesn't mean you should tolerate people not treating you well.

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1 minute ago, Kirby said:

it's hard for me to relate because I really like both my sisters, but simply having the same genetics is no reason to put up with people who treat you badly.   I can understand overlooking some faults in relatives, I actually think that's a necessary quality.  But that doesn't mean you should tolerate people not treating you well.

Sister’s # 1-3 all retired & moved to Palm Desert about 5 years ago.  Sisters # 1 & 2 have finally had enough and stay clear even though they all live a few blocks from one another.  It was hard for them to exclude her as they were all close but they are just tired of her drama.  
 

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2 minutes ago, Airehead said:

Skip it for sure. The real question is why do your wife and daughter have to go?

She likes my daughter and does treat her well.  She spoils the nieces and shuns the nephews. Been that way forever. 

My wife is just too nice to tell her to fuck off but is only going because our daughter is.  She isn’t looking forward to it.

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20 hours ago, ChrisL said:

Sister #3 who I call bitch sister is in town this week and wants to have a “girls” lunch with my wife & daughter. Daughter is working so can’t do lunch so they are getting together for sushi tomorrow after my daughter gets off work.  

Backstory is this sister basically told the entire family to fuck off and backed out of a family picture we took in August as she has a beef with several of the other sisters.   She often disinvites the brothers to family events as she doesn’t want men there. I haven’t seen her in about 2 years and really don’t miss her... She makes every family gathering difficult.  She really wants to see my daughter as she and her daughter are close and tolerates my wife “I don’t know why you have stayed with that ass hole so long”.  Yeah, she said that to her once...

So since it’s a dinner now, she tells my wife & daughter, well I guess Chris can come then... As outdoor seating is limited WOChrisL is making reservations & asked if I wanted to go. I told her to keep it a girls thing but part of me thinks I should see her as who knows when I will see her again if ever.. 

As it stands now I’m out, what says you in or out?

 

Unless she's in a position to make amends with you, it would seem to be nothing but stress for you to be there.  I learned that from Marjorie on "Mom."

In all seriousness, you have to determine for yourself how much family affection, etc. is there and maybe this is a good chance to get along.

A possible last chance to meet is important.  I had a couple out-of-state cousins I didn't like very much that I was close to when we were kids.  When their mother, my aunt, passed away around 2004 I made sure I traveled to the funeral because I knew it was likely to be my last chance to see and talk to them.  One has passed away since.

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I am lucky that my family pretty much all get along well, so we don't really have  that to deal with stuff like this.   That said, my ex has a difficult sister and they often shout at each other when together (well more than half the time), so I always tried to avoid those get-togethers.  They kept at it because they were twins and all the family is pretty much gone.  Seeing this and hearing other stories, it is easy to conclude family that makes you miserable and are completely crappy people no longer qualify to consort with you any longer.  No need for that in your life.

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For a number of years..my sister would cancel plans..I am still hurt about the Christmas Eve dinner she cancelled at Noon on Christmas Eve..After the time I made dinner for her..making things she asked about..her eating 2 tablespoons and not taking leftovers...plans have changed to..if we do dinner..her choice and I just deal with it.  I don't  think we get together once a year..she lives about 20 minutes from me. 

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1 hour ago, ChrisL said:

I’m not going.  Us guys are watching the NBA finals.  

Given the choice between watching the NBA finals and hanging with your sister, I think it would be the latter for me :D

Of course, Fleche Wallone is on today (should be about wrapped up by now), so there is that better option!

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3 hours ago, Randomguy said:

I am lucky that my family pretty much all get along well, so we don't really have  that to deal with stuff like this.   That said, my ex has a difficult sister and they often shout at each other when together (well more than half the time), so I always tried to avoid those get-togethers.  They kept at it because they were twins and all the family is pretty much gone.  Seeing this and hearing other stories, it is easy to conclude family that makes you miserable and are completely crappy people no longer qualify to consort with you any longer.  No need for that in your life.

7 of the remaining 8 of us get along fine and everyone has a problem with the one.  We actually don’t have an ongoing beef, she is just a miserable bitch and continually takes pot shots at me.  If I say something back then I’m being an asshole again.  Just let me rip on you and shut up about it...

Thus I stay clear.

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OK so update...

Since I wasn’t going to dinner she came to the house first.  She wanted to explain her side with all of the family drama swirling around her. She asked if I was mad at her too and I said I’m not mad at you but I don’t like the choices you have made.   She was good with that.

After she left my daughter called me, she drove separately.  She said bitch sister said about 3 insulting remarks about me before I got there and made a rude comment to my wife about the paint color she chose for the house...

Good grief.

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4 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

It is your sister.  You should go.

Eat the meal, tell her you love her and take the high road. 

But what do I know, my family all gets along.

I took the low road but didn’t make the situation worse. You probably hadn’t gotten to this part...

7 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

OK so update...

Since I wasn’t going to dinner she came to the house first.  She wanted to explain her side with all of the family drama swirling around her. She asked if I was mad at her too and I said I’m not mad at you but I don’t like the choices you have made.   She was good with that.

After she left my daughter called me, she drove separately.  She said bitch sister said about 3 insulting remarks about me before I got there and made a rude comment to my wife about the paint color she chose for the house...

Good grief.

 

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1 hour ago, Zephyr said:

It is your sister.  You should go.

Eat the meal, tell her you love her and take the high road. 

But what do I know, my family all gets along.

This is wrong.  All the others should have drawn straws, short straw kills the sister and dumps her in a body of water in BC.

  Spider-Man Dancing GIF

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