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How long as it been since you've been to a wedding?


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A friend was talking to me about helping to pay of his kid's wedding when it occurred to me that I don't think I've been to a wedding in well over a decade - it might even be closer to 15 years.   I don't have a big extended family, so once my friends mostly finished getting married, I really haven't been to a wedding.  I was invited to a coworker's kids wedding about 5 years ago, but it was out of town on a holiday weekend, so I sent a gift and my regards.

So how long has it been since you've gone t a wedding and whose wedding was it?

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3 years ago. 2 great women rented a home in a resort area & tied the knot in a beautiful backyard. There was a ton of food all over the house. Cigars on the patio. All kinds of nice touches. The last event before WoScrapr was diagnosed. She was showing some effects at that point

The FB memory popped up not long ago

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Last wedding was a niece's wedding 4 years ago. They had the reception at their favourite Cajun cuisine restaurant in Toronto...restaurant decor has voodoo beads, etc. year round.

4 years before that, was her brother's wedding. Wedding ceremony and reception at a castle (which is a tourist attraction) in a large banquet room.  They walked around outside for the wedding photos and it was beautiful sunny day.

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Feb, 2019. Cycling friend who has also modeled for me. 
If we can get pandemic under control, will be at my nephew’s wedding next year. 

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The last time we attended a wedding was 3 years ago.    WoBG's girlfriend's daughter.

I just realized..  we've been going to more funerals than weddings over the last several years.  :(

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My wife’s niece at some swanky boat club at Virginia Beach. About ten years ago. It was supposed to be an outdoor wedding but it rained all day so they had to move it inside. The bride was as mad as a wet hen because she wanted an outdoor wedding. The marriage only lasted about as long as the trip back home. The things you do for a relative.

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I think it was 3 years.

The son of my sister in laws first husbands second wife from one of her previous marriages.  :o

I felt like I was at a prison reunion.

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June 20, 2020. My cousin’s daughter was married on Cape Cod somewhere. We didn’t go but we watched online. Not the same. Prior to that was three years ago. Jeff and Ambrosia tied the knot at a winery. They’re expecting a daughter any day now. Supposed to happen yesterday but I haven’t heard anything.

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Daughter's was 6 years ago yesterday.

Did go to my nephew's reception a couple years ago. They exchanged vows privately then had a reception in a rustic setting on the grounds of a fish camp that had wooded areas with pavilions for groups and meetings. They did have to bring in some tents at the last minute as the weather didn't cooperate. 

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7 hours ago, maddmaxx said:

I think it was 3 years.

The son of my sister in laws first husbands second wife from one of her previous marriages.  :o

I felt like I was at a prison reunion.

Trying to figure that out gives me a headache, I gave up.

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In sept. My favorite cousin. Wedding decreased to 25 people from 300. No dancing. Beautiful and probably better than the 300. 

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52 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

Trying to figure that out gives me a headache, I gave up.

What else could you expect.  I have two half brothers that I have never met and two step brothers who are half brothers to each other and yet I'm an only child.

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15 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

What else could you expect.  I have two half brothers that I have never met and two step brothers who are half brothers to each other and yet I'm an only child.

 

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8 years ago, in an outside wedding on a ranch in north central Nebraska, our ('adopted' grand daughter) was married to a nice young man from Nebraska. They have since moved back to Miles City and have a set of twin girls and a boy. They are doing well.

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15 hours ago, Kirby said:

I don't have a big extended family, so once my friends mostly finished getting married, I really haven't been to a wedding.

Yep - that really is key.  I have a large family, so the weddings just keep on coming :)

In my 20's it was mainly college friends getting married - right out of college and for a few immediate years after.  Then, in my late 20s, it was my family getting going with the older cousins taking the lead. Then in my 30s, it was me and few more siblings and cousins - basically one every other year.  Then, in my 40s, the younger siblings, and younger cousins, also about one every other year. Now, we are tracking into the nieces and nephews.  I think everyone of my generation - siblings and cousins - are now married except my youngest sister (only 20).  Now, with a couple dozen nieces and nephews, from 32 yrs old down to a month old, I see the every other year trend getting going strong again.  Already have my first niece scheduled for 2022, so there could be space for a 2021 wedding.

Any non-family weddings just boost it to almost one a year, but most of my older friends are done with marriage - either married already or never planning to get married.

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32 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Yep - that really is key.  I have a large family, so the weddings just keep on coming :)

In my 20's it was mainly college friends getting married - right out of college and for a few immediate years after.  Then, in my late 20s, it was my family getting going with the older cousins taking the lead. Then in my 30s, it was me and few more siblings and cousins - basically one every other year.  Then, in my 40s, the younger siblings, and younger cousins, also about one every other year. Now, we are tracking into the nieces and nephews.  I think everyone of my generation - siblings and cousins - are now married except my youngest sister (only 20).  Now, with a couple dozen nieces and nephews, from 32 yrs old down to a month old, I see the every other year trend getting going strong again.  Already have my first niece scheduled for 2022, so there could be space for a 2021 wedding.

Any non-family weddings just boost it to almost one a year, but most of my older friends are done with marriage - either married already or never planning to get married.

Weddings I predict in the future would be happening in next family generation.

Only 2 close friends are married and still married after nearly 30 yrs. They each have adult children.

Others are  single still at this time and no partner.  And I've known these close friends each, over the past 35-40 yrs.  So I'm not the person feeling "left out" because  majority of good friends are married. 

THere are ALOT of single/uncoupled people these days.  More than one could know. This forum is not an accurate reflection of trends in society.

 

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My sister was married before me in 1962 and remained married until her husband died. I can't remember going to weddings of other family members, but probably did as a child. Don't remember ever going to weddings of friends or acquaintances, and this was partly because we've lived far distant from our hometowns for most of our married lives. May be able to count the weddings I've attended on one hand. Probably would have gone to a local one this summer, if not for Covid.

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1 hour ago, shootingstar said:

THere are ALOT of single/uncoupled people these days.  More than one could know. This forum is not an accurate reflection of trends in society.

True but...

What is sad is that there may be a challenging chicken-egg sort of societal situation that needs sorting out.  I worry younger generations have a little too much suspicion of marriage and not enough understanding of what a healthy marriage can do for them.  Personally, I know I'd be messed up if I came of age even 10-15 years after I did, as society - mainly through the internet and social media - has really thrown a wrench in what is "real" versus just a facade. :(  Maybe as a guy it is different, but I definitely see marriage - between equals and in agreement to being married - as a HUGE benefit in life - early on, now, and into the future.  It will be interesting to see if it is more a shift to later rather than a complete skip of marriage for these younger folks.  I do feel like the folks I know in my age group who got a little too wrapped around the "I need Mr/Mrs Right" soon found themselves no longer in the running for catching Mr/Mrs Right, and either became "settle for Bob/Barb" or missed the boat altogether :( On the flip side, some folks SHOULD be single and thrive in that sort of life.  There is freedom in only answering to oneself, and marriage would likely chafe at them constantly.  Being "in the middle", in the US, just seems to wishy-washy to me.  Either "commit" to the one you're with (and all the legal benefits and drawbacks) or decide why that commitment is difficult/impossible to make - the person is wrong, the restrictions too great, the system is broken, or something else.

image.thumb.png.8f50693c0034b28d43c9235c45f207b8.png

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16 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

True but...

What is sad is that there may be a challenging chicken-egg sort of societal situation that needs sorting out.  I worry younger generations have a little too much suspicion of marriage and not enough understanding of what a healthy marriage can do for them.  Personally, I know I'd be messed up if I came of age even 10-15 years after I did, as society - mainly through the internet and social media - has really thrown a wrench in what is "real" versus just a facade. :(  Maybe as a guy it is different, but I definitely see marriage - between equals and in agreement to being married - as a HUGE benefit in life - early on, now, and into the future.  It will be interesting to see if it is more a shift to later rather than a complete skip of marriage for these younger folks.  I do feel like the folks I know in my age group who got a little too wrapped around the "I need Mr/Mrs Right" soon found themselves no longer in the running for catching Mr/Mrs Right, and either became "settle for Bob/Barb" or missed the boat altogether :( On the flip side, some folks SHOULD be single and thrive in that sort of life.  There is freedom in only answering to oneself, and marriage would likely chafe at them constantly.  Being "in the middle", in the US, just seems to wishy-washy to me.  Either "commit" to the one you're with (and all the legal benefits and drawbacks) or decide why that commitment is difficult/impossible to make - the person is wrong, the restrictions too great, the system is broken, or something else.

image.thumb.png.8f50693c0034b28d43c9235c45f207b8.png

You know I don’t see a big difference in my kids and their friends now than my wife & I.  My daughter married at 25 but it was a 2 year engagement as they were both in college.  Some of their friends are in relationships with people that they met through social circles & not dating sites.   Many have gotten married/plan to marry.  

My son & his friends are a few years behind in their early 20’s and some are in relationships, some not,  none are married. My son met his GF through a friend, not a dating site.

Small sample size I know but I don’t see a huge difference in their relationships.

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We've hit a sort of dead spot in marriage age relatives among us 32 first-cousins and more 2nd cousins. It's been nearly a decade for me since I've been to a wedding. We've got some approaching 20 years old and some in their early teens and they're going to be the next two waves of marriages.

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Just about 5 years ago. Our niece who lives in Quebec had her wedding at a beautiful resort in the hills.

Quebec has lots of strange rules, among them the rule that allows anyone to officiate at a wedding. You don't need a minister, or JP or ship's captain or anyone like that. Just pick whoever you want, and they can go and get a one time ticket to do the deed.

 They had a superhero theme for the wedding, and the bride's brother in law officiated in a Batman costume. Here's me posing with him after the ceremony.

 

posing with batman.jpg

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5 hours ago, Razors Edge said:

True but...

What is sad is that there may be a challenging chicken-egg sort of societal situation that needs sorting out.  I worry younger generations have a little too much suspicion of marriage and not enough understanding of what a healthy marriage can do for them.  Personally, I know I'd be messed up if I came of age even 10-15 years after I did, as society - mainly through the internet and social media - has really thrown a wrench in what is "real" versus just a facade. :(  Maybe as a guy it is different, but I definitely see marriage - between equals and in agreement to being married - as a HUGE benefit in life - early on, now, and into the future.  It will be interesting to see if it is more a shift to later rather than a complete skip of marriage for these younger folks.  I do feel like the folks I know in my age group who got a little too wrapped around the "I need Mr/Mrs Right" soon found themselves no longer in the running for catching Mr/Mrs Right, and either became "settle for Bob/Barb" or missed the boat altogether :( On the flip side, some folks SHOULD be single and thrive in that sort of life.  There is freedom in only answering to oneself, and marriage would likely chafe at them constantly.  Being "in the middle", in the US, just seems to wishy-washy to me.  Either "commit" to the one you're with (and all the legal benefits and drawbacks) or decide why that commitment is difficult/impossible to make - the person is wrong, the restrictions too great, the system is broken, or something else.

image.thumb.png.8f50693c0034b28d43c9235c45f207b8.png

It's important that the younger generation if they are from parents who are divorced, that at the very least the parent that spent the most time raising them, or joint, non-bickering custody of 2 divorced parents, that the parent is a reasonable human being, tries to be consistently good/fair in childrearing and psychologically supportive to child's endeavours, etc.  the latter is possible if each household where the child spends time is generally "same" in childrearing style in a satisfactory way.   That lays a good foundation for child not be overly leery of marriage, later on. 

Biggest difference between marriage and living with partner is strictly :  legal and financial. Ok...keep the sex in house is another reason. Marriage (ring) does not guarantee (sexual) fidelity, respect, etc. Maybe it helps some (not all) people from wandering outside of their marriage. I dunno.  

 

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51 minutes ago, Rattlecan said:

Just about 5 years ago. Our niece who lives in Quebec had her wedding at a beautiful resort in the hills.

Quebec has lots of strange rules, among them the rule that allows anyone to officiate at a wedding. You don't need a minister, or JP or ship's captain or anyone like that. Just pick whoever you want, and they can go and get a one time ticket to do the deed.

 They had a superhero theme for the wedding, and the bride's brother in law officiated in a Batman costume. Here's me posing with him after the ceremony.

 

posing with batman.jpg

Burl!  :)

 

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9 minutes ago, Philander Seabury said:

Went to a covid weeding in August.  Came away withoot catching it - yay!

Someone from workplace, had a covid wedding this month. Wedding photo posted...groom and bride with masks on. That is something to talk about years from now and if one has a modest wedding, it can add another dimension.

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All the marriages in siblings in my family and among niece and nephew, the couple lived with one another for a few years first. In 1 case, sister and her BF bought and lived in a house together for about 7 years, before they got around to getting married.

For sure, that trend, living together for awhile, is totally different from parents' generation.  

So in a way, the weddings in our family, just an extension of what has been there all along between the couple.  And hence, the honeymoon holiday wasn't lavish/expensive or was postponed until a year later.  

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