AirwickWithCheese Posted August 11, 2014 Share #1 Posted August 11, 2014 They complain about me. No matter where I drive they take it as an insult that I'm driving. Another driver and I were talking about a segment on Stone Avenue. I said "It won't matter today." I was speaking about my habit of driving without a license, getting drunk, and figuring out a route to get home. You really have to drive drunk alone, and not try for anything extra, like gas station ringdings, on the way home. Red lights and stop/starts can kill your odds of making it home. The Highway Patrol seem to take it as ... it won't matter, because we are going to bust this clown because he's driving. I can't win. No matter where I go, I run into the fuzz. Last time, it was because I stopped to pee on the side of the road and fell asleep for an hour before starting to drive again. The cop asked to get out of my car, and I told her I could make all her dreams come true, because I wanted to drive for a while in the early morning. I would meet her at Krispy Kreme after I finished sobering up that day. She didn't smile and took me to the county jail. Does that make me so terrible? She has said that "I vibe her with my competitiveness" This is not my intention. I think she takes everything I say as a slight to her riding skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopped Liver Posted August 11, 2014 Share #2 Posted August 11, 2014 tldr...but vibing a chick is never bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 11, 2014 Share #3 Posted August 11, 2014 top notch parody, but we needed more cowbell 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted August 11, 2014 Share #4 Posted August 11, 2014 Whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share #5 Posted August 11, 2014 Whatever. Get me a beer, woman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 11, 2014 Share #6 Posted August 11, 2014 Running into the fuzz while vibing a friend is good. Bribing, not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 11, 2014 Share #7 Posted August 11, 2014 3.27 on the Parody-Meter. You incorporated the text into your parody, but your subject matter was lacking. And it didn't have a beat that you could dance to. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirwickWithCheese Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share #8 Posted August 11, 2014 3.27??? :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted August 11, 2014 Share #9 Posted August 11, 2014 3.27??? Hey, I don't judge the contents. I just run the machine. The gauge said 3.27. If you suck at parodies, take it up with someone that cares. Or go join Jsharr in the whining and crying corner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 11, 2014 Share #10 Posted August 11, 2014 Hey, I don't judge the contents. I just run the machine. The gauge said 3.27. If you suck at parodies, take it up with someone that cares. Or go join Jsharr in the whining and crying corner. Based on your advice I added words to my sock parody. Can you run it back through your dual-column gas chromatograph, Hewlett-Packard model 5710a with flame analyzing detectors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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