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When you see a raccoon...


JerrySTL
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they don't get uppity with me like that one there in the picture. If I saw one acting like that, I'd fetch my gun and he'd weigh a few bullets heavier

 

I have several living here on the property. They get in the trash is all the damage they do. But even when they do that, they don't make a big mess. It looks like they untie the trash bags and sit down and have themselves a little moonlight picnic.

 

Its not like when dogs hit your trash. There's none of the mindless destruction that's the calling card of a pack of wild dogs

 

If they think you're scared of them, though, they'll get aggressive. The trick is to use peanut oil

 

They're delicious fried up in peanut oil and only city folk and high toppers are scared of delicious animals

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they don't get uppity with me like that one there in the picture. If I saw one acting like that, I'd fetch my gun and he'd weigh a few bullets heavier

 

I have several living here on the property. They get in the trash is all the damage they do. But even when they do that, they don't make a big mess. It looks like they untie the trash bags and sit down and have themselves a little moonlight picnic.

 

Its not like when dogs hit your trash. There's none of the mindless destruction that's the calling card of a pack of wild dogs

 

If they think you're scared of them, though, they'll get aggressive. The trick is to use peanut oil

 

They're delicious fried up in peanut oil and only city folk and high toppers are scared of delicious animals

They're kind of greasy.

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I had a raccoon trying to live next to my fence in the backyard... I was not having any of that! 

 

I walked up to it, looked it dead in the years and told him to GTFO! He looked at me and hissed ... I told him I did not want any part of him living in my yard, and to keep on trucking. 

He did not like what I had to say and tried to attack my foot.. Lucky for me and not him I was wearing my steel toe work boots. As he attacked me again I reached down and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and picked him up... At this point he was really pissed and I released it weighed in at a good 10 pounds. 

 

I was thinking of chucking him over the fence to the neighbors yard (The crazy lady that does not like me), but it was to heavy to just chuck without give'n it a two handed toss.. I walked the fat SOB down to a wooded section and dropped it off about a block away... 

 

I never did see it again after that. 

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Dear Kind Readers:

 

Pull up a stool and cop a squat while I tell you the bestest story in forever.

 

When I was kid, I watched the movie Trog late one night.  It was about this troglodyte creature that lived under ground and did bad stuff like killing people, returning video tapes unrewound and having more than 20 items in the express checkout line if I  recall correctly.

 

Anywho, I digress.  So I watch this movie about Trog, I think he also double parked in handicapped spaces and passed cyclists too close, anywhat, I digress.

 

So I watched this movie and then went to bed.  Later that night I hear noises and I wake up and see a shape peering in my bedroom window.  I begin to scream out expletives like "go away fart knocker" and that brings my mom to my room.  She turns on the light and we see a raccoon in my window.

 

Who knew that raccoons could imitate troglodytes so well.  Not me, that is for sure.

 

Well, anyway, that is the story of how a raccoon made me pee my pants and scream like a little girl

 

Thanks for listening to yourself read my story and I hope the Good Lord takes a liking to you and blows you up real good soon.

 

bye.

 

jsharr

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you gotta know your enemy JSharr...you gotta know your enemy

 

that's the only reason we dragged a cable of the ridge for the TV

 

so we'd know what the city slickers were up to

 

she's just pissed because nobody cared about here riding a trainer with no pants or whatever the hell it was

 

I just try not to get the mental image of an old hippy lady nekkid on an indoor trainer, but you know how women get when they get to  that age

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you gotta know your enemy JSharr...you gotta know your enemy

 

that's the only reason we dragged a cable of the ridge for the TV

 

so we'd know what the city slickers were up to

 

she's just pissed because nobody cared about here riding a trainer with no pants or whatever the hell it was

 

I just try not to get the mental image of an old hippy lady nekkid on an indoor trainer, but you know how women get when they get to  that age

How come you did not critique my raccoon story?  It was a good story.  I wrote it in Natestyle.  

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I'm in the middle of stuff at work and I just pop in for a second to take a break from what I'm doing here

 

its not a commentary on anything, I just didn't see it

 

give me a little while and I'll get back and check it out

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I'm in the middle of stuff at work and I just pop in for a second to take a break from what I'm doing here

 

its not a commentary on anything, I just didn't see it

 

give me a little while and I'll get back and check it out

WHAT EVER!!!!!!

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