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My space is being invaded


BR46

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7 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

You have a wife that want's to help build race bikes.  Hush.

The other day she was cleaning gasket surfaces on the engine cases. I appreciate the help but every time I turn around she there.

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16 minutes ago, BR46 said:

but every time I turn around she there.

Until she’s not. When she’s not there, and never will be again, your feelings of being squeezed might seem like you preferred routine over connection. It’s a pandemic. She’s nervous. 

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24 minutes ago, roadsue said:

Until she’s not. When she’s not there, and never will be again, your feelings of being squeezed might seem like you preferred routine over connection. It’s a pandemic. She’s nervous. 

Meh, that's not what this is about. Just that the guy needs some space. Everyone does.

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2 minutes ago, BR46 said:

I do appreciate the time we spend together with racing and traveling together but sometimes I just like being alone tinkering in the garage. 

I know that I'm complaining about something that other people wish they had and I know that she's bored. 

 She is a very routine person with work and everything but since she retired she has no routine and is searching for something to fill the time. She did sign up to volunteer at the assisted living home driving residents to hair appointments.

 

Ya, I was thinking retirement has a lot to do with it. But seriously, HoSmudge and I have an understanding when at camp: you do your thing, and I'll do mine. I DO check on him now and again to make sure he hasn't fallen off a ladder or severed a finger. 😏

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1 hour ago, BR46 said:

but every time I turn around she there.

:D  You are now 'officially' retired...   and so is your wife.   

Yeah... "togetherness"...   I retired 3 1/2 years ago.  WoBG retired about 7 years ago.  I think I've spent more with my wife during the last 3 1/3 years than I did for the last 15 years I worked.   Sooooo many years of work, more work, sleep, repeat...  

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8 minutes ago, smudge said:

Ya, I was thinking retirement has a lot to do with it. But seriously, HoSmudge and I have an understanding when at camp: you do your thing, and I'll do mine. I DO check on him now and again to make sure he hasn't fallen off a ladder or severed a finger. 😏

I know that retirement has everything to do with it but I'm running out of excuses to go to stores or shops that I know that she doesn't want to go to.

I took some cylinder heads out to Dave for some machining and found myself driving 20 miles out of my way :whistle:

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34 minutes ago, BR46 said:

She is a very routine person with work and everything but since she retired she has no routine and is searching for something to fill the time.

Last year WoBG and I volunteered and were part of the planning committee for the 2020 Walk to End Alzheimer's - Illinois Valley  And then the virus hit....  we still work to do for the 'virtual' walk and looking for donations, etc...

I'm sure there are more then a few charity organizations that could use someone (Wo46 for example) who likes to work.   

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2 minutes ago, Bikeguy said:

:D  You are now 'officially' retired...   and so is your wife.   

Yeah... "togetherness"...   I retired 3 1/2 years ago.  WoBG retired about 7 years ago.  I think I've spent more with my wife during the last 3 1/3 years than I did for the last 15 years I worked.   Sooooo many years of work, more work, sleep, repeat...  

I retired 1 1/2 years ago and she retired October 1st and went back for a few weeks in December to fill in for someone who was out for surgery. When that ended she was lost. If she told me that she wanted to go for a walk or lunch alone I would understand that sometimes you just need time alone.

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3 minutes ago, Bikeguy said:

Last year WoBG and I volunteered and were part of the planning committee for the 2020 Walk to End Alzheimer's - Illinois Valley  And then the virus hit....  we still work to do for the 'virtual' walk and looking for donations, etc...

I'm sure there are more then a few charity organizations that could use someone (Wo46 for example) who likes to work.   

Wo46 has filled out paperwork for volunteering at the assisted living and the Humane society.

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5 minutes ago, BR46 said:

When that ended she was lost. If she told me that she wanted to go for a walk or lunch alone I would understand that sometimes you just need time alone.

WoBG goes out for most of the day with her long time friend (since HS) once a week.  Before the virus they'd drive somewhere, have lunch, shop, go see a movie, etc...  A day for the 'girls' to have fun.  And I got the day to go for a long bike ride.  

Retirement is an 'adjustment'...  

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1 hour ago, BR46 said:

I know that retirement has everything to do with it but I'm running out of excuses to go to stores or shops that I know that she doesn't want to go to.

I took some cylinder heads out to Dave for some machining and found myself driving 20 miles out of my way :whistle:

Take a laptop or tablet into the bathroom.  You ok in there dear??? Yeah good supper dear! I can guarantee she will not want to join you in there!

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14 minutes ago, BR46 said:

I would want to go there with her 

Then take a day and go...  maybe not tomorrow it looks like snow.

When I worked....  we just about always had a date on Friday night.   We still do that but.... now we don't wait for Friday. 

For those who are still working..    Every Friday I had a reoccurring meeting scheduled (forever)  in Outlook, from 1:00 PM to 5:00PM.   Only once or twice did someone call and ask me to move my meeting. (I probably didn't...)   Most just scheduled their meeting, call, etc... for a different time.   I never had any meeting on a Friday afternoon.  I just wanted to be sure I'd get home for my date with WoBG.  And I got a lot of work done too. 

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4 hours ago, BR46 said:

I always enjoyed putzing around in the garage working on motorcycles and things but Wo46 has been hanging around in the garage more and more. She has been putting in hours of work on the sidecar and anything else that needs to be done. 

I don't mind having the help but my alone time is getting squeezed out......on the plus side the lath, drill press and the floor have never been cleaner.

So you clean stuff while she gets stuff done?  I hope you bring her a sammich every now and then.

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28 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

We're not retired, but we like spending time together.  Maybe when it's full-time we'll get on each other's nerves, but not yet.

We like spending time together but. ..

Since she retired it's now 24/7.  

Now if I want to go to Home Depot I'm explaining why I'm going to Home Depot and then she's trying to decide if she's going along. So just running in get what you need get back to the project has changed. 

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2 minutes ago, roadsue said:

How are you going to broach the subject with your wife? 

I guess that I will deal with her hanging around. Wo46 has been filling out paperwork to volunteer at a few places but hasn't heard anything back yet. 

I know that she's just bored since she retired and I feel things will change when the weather gets nicer. When the weather is nice she sometimes goes for a 4 or 5 mile run by her self because she doesn't need my fat ass slowing her down. 

 

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On 1/14/2021 at 8:13 PM, BR46 said:

I'm running out of excuses to go to stores or shops that I know that she doesn't want to go to.

Find some things that you both like to do, and get out of the garage to spend time with your wife doing those.

Give some time back to your wife in this way, and I suspect that even though you'll have less overall garage time you'll gain back most of your alone time.

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23 minutes ago, Thaddeus Kosciuszko said:

Find some things that you both like to do, and get out of the garage to spend time with your wife doing those.

Give some time back to your wife in this way, and I suspect that even though you'll have less overall garage time you'll gain back most of your alone time.

I do a lot of things that she likes to do. 

She's just bored ever since she retired, she never really had a hobby of any kind that she liked to do. She is looking at doing volunteer work so she can get out of the house a few days a week. 

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