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What regrets do you have?


Square Wheels

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36 minutes ago, roadsue said:

I regret feeling compassion. It’s been a recurring scene that I express care for someone and then get ridiculed for it. Maybe it’s embracing Christianity I regret. Because the people who put me down the most are Christian. 

It must be something fundamental they disagree with you.

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29 minutes ago, roadsue said:

I regret feeling compassion. It’s been a recurring scene that I express care for someone and then get ridiculed for it. Maybe it’s embracing Christianity I regret. Because the people who put me down the most are Christian. 

Don't let them stop you from being kind.  They are likely in pain and lashing out.

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32 minutes ago, roadsue said:

I regret feeling compassion. It’s been a recurring scene that I express care for someone and then get ridiculed for it. Maybe it’s embracing Christianity I regret. Because the people who put me down the most are Christian. 

Never regret being compassionate, @roadsue.  It is a most honorable trait and worth more than great riches.  

I’ve never regretted embracing Christ. I’ve learned over the course of life that people can be harsh and unforgiving, no matter what they believe or embrace. But God has never failed me and I could never leave Him now.

My biggest regrets revolve around not doing more for the kingdom. There are so many hurting people in this world. 

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I have said this before, but knowing what I know now, there are literally thousands of situations I would love to do over. People who say they wouldn’t change a thing along the way are idiots, plain and simple, just completely contemptible.  
 

There are a few big regrets and lots of smaller regrets. I guess the more evolved would use those data points as calibration, and the unaware just shrug and say can’t change the past, I guess I am perfect and where I should be”. 
 

An unexamined life is truly not worth living. 

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Just now, Randomguy said:

I have said this before, but knowing what I know now, there are literally thousands of situations I would love to do over. People who say they wouldn’t change a thing along the way are idiots, plain and simple, just completely contemptible.  
 

There are a few big regrets and lots of smaller regrets. I guess the more evolved would use those data points as calibration, and the unaware just shrug and say can’t change the past, I guess I am perfect and where I should be”. 
 

An unexamined life is truly not worth living. 

You still haven't read Replay.

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9 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

Every time you spout off about being willing to change everything, I suggest you reconsider and read that book.  I've suggested it at least five times to you.

You never pay attention to what I say, I should be your girlfriend.

First, I wouldn’t change everything, I would change a bunch, though.  Bunches of bunches.  Second, having past regrets might help with current decision-making, “am I gonna have regrets about this?”  It has certainly refined thinking, although far from perfecting it.  
 

I am guessing that the book has a lot of presupposition that shoehorns you into certain other thought patterns. I am sure it is interesting, though. 

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1 hour ago, Square Wheels said:

I have many regrets and demons.  I read Replay a while ago, life changing.  

If given the chance for a life redo, I wonder if I would?

One often thinks of "what if".  However, would you be who you are today if you had?  Do you want to be someone else without really knowing how that might have turned out.

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1 hour ago, Square Wheels said:

If given the chance for a life redo...   

No.... once is enough.  I'd just f' it up in a different way if I got a redo.   

Just now, maddmaxx said:

One often thinks of "what if".  However, would you be who you are today if you had? 

this^^^

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3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

First, I wouldn’t change everything, I would change a bunch, though.  Bunches of bunches.  Second, having past regrets might help with current decision-making, “am I gonna have regrets about this?”  It has certainly refined thinking, although far from perfecting it.  
 

I am guessing that the book has a lot of presupposition that shoehorns you into certain other thought patterns. I am sure it is interesting, though. 

Give it a read.  Maybe you'll hate it.  Maybe it will change the way you think.

Ask @dennis or @Thaddeus Kosciuszko, they're booky type folks, I bet one of them read it.

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1 hour ago, Longjohn said:

My biggest regret is that I didn’t spend more time with my parents their last year of life. I visited them and I was their for their final hours but I should have done more. 

I have some of that with my Dad.  His death by pneumonia caught me by surprise.  It probably shouldn't have. I can't remember how long he had it but it wasn't long, and poof, he was gone.

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16 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

I regret that I didn't spend enough time talking to my sister. And I was clueless to pick up on certain cues that she was deeply depressed for a long time. She is the one who died by suicide.

That’s a tough load to carry. 

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1 minute ago, JerrySTL said:

Not any real regrets. I'm very happy where I'm at now and somewhat astounded that I made it this far. If I could go back and change something, I might be in a totally wrong place now. Obviously I watch too much Doctor Who and other time travel shows.

I am basically happy with my worklife.  I have a few regerts with not being tough enough with my builders and not knowledgeable or motivated enough to make them do things right.  They were basically shitheads who preyed on first time homebuyers. 

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2 minutes ago, roadsue said:

I believe that we are uniquely prepared for our life’s work. The inverse is we get the work we are prepared for. Just yesterday I was helping a colleague new to bicycling understand why she needs to drop into low gear and spin. The conversation turned toward “the hills in life,” and I believe it is true that bicycling hills has uniquely prepared me for settling in and turning the pedals when the work gets steep.

Shit, just keeping air in taars is a metaphor for the toughness of life. :)

Best get you some Gatorskins. :D

 

 

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45 minutes ago, roadsue said:

That’s a tough load to carry. 

I learned of her suicide just as I was packing to move prairie city (and therefore dearie would stay in Vancouver) after accepting job in prairie city. I delayed job start by 2 wks. because needed time to recover from shock. It was a hard time in life. Only one good friend in prairie city knows. I've never told anyone at work....and don't plan to. 

Grief never goes away completely. It comes in unexpected times and each year it fades more. She left 2 adult children who are now, each married...whom I've mentioned occasionally on this forum. I feel sorry for nephew because his baby son died a few months ago from brain cancer tumour. So.. double grief.

I can only live well and keep up by contacting niece and nephew.

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I guess I regret being a contemptible idiot, who leads an unexamined life. :nodhead:  There are times i wonder what life would be life if I'd gotten married or had kids, but any choice comes with its own set of pluses and minuses.  I think whatever choices I'd made in life, I'd end up with a life with a lot of good things, some genuine sadness, and lots of little things to make a day good or bad with random effect. I don't imagine there's some alternative path that would be so much better than where i am now.

There is a show on Amazon Prime called Being Erica - I've seen the first part of a season but my sister has watched most of it.  The premise is that a woman in her late 20's who life didn't turn out like she expected is given the chance to live certain key days over again.  I've liked the episodes I've watched so far

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2 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

Yes

Holy irony

Replay is the account of 43-year-old radio journalist Jeff Winston, who dies of a heart attack in 1988 and awakens back in 1963 in his 18-year-old body as a student at Atlanta's Emory University. 

Ken Grimwood was working on a sequel to Replay when he died from a heart attack in 2003 at the age of 59

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23 hours ago, Square Wheels said:

Give it a read.  Maybe you'll hate it.  Maybe it will change the way you think.

Ask @dennis or @Thaddeus Kosciuszko, they're booky type folks, I bet one of them read it.

Based on your recommendation, I looked on Amazon to order the book.  Amazon tells me I ordered it some time  ago, probably the first time you mentioned it here.  So I went to look in the spare bedroom where there are piles of books I intend to read some day when I retire, only to realize that the only way to see if it's there is to undo all the piles, and that seems problematic.  So I'll probably get around to reading it some day, when I get to it in the big pile-o'books. :nodhead:

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I have many minor regrets.

But I'm pleased, on the whole, with how much I accomplished in life, considering the early obstacles of poverty and growing up in an environment with misguided attitudes where many adults said, "Why are you going to college? Are you too lazy to go to work?" - despite the fact I had been working fast-food for 30-48 hours/week during my last semester of high school to save up to commute to college.

One of my gifted-and-talented high school students told me something that still pleases me to think about, "Most people go through life striving to reach a plateau and then slide along it. You've had a life of 'experiences' where you reach a plateau, want to experience more of life and then go through the challenges of getting to a new plateau so you can soak-in that experience."

I have a far-right political cousin who has used my story as an example of someone who has pulled himself up by his own bootstraps. That's not quite true: I have NO regrets and much gratefulness for the help I got at key points along the way. I have tried to pass-on those favors to others I encounter who are trying to improve and who need some help.

 

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I don’t hold onto the pas, the one thing i wish i had done was take better care of myself in my teens and twenties. It’s not the years I’m feeling, it’s the miles🙂

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