Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Share #1 Posted August 20, 2014 A lawyer type friend made me an LLC. It is a non-profit strictly for hosting kids triathlons. I am going to open a bank account this afternoon. I have federal tax ID numbers and shit. I gotta start asking people for monies soon. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingtermite Posted August 20, 2014 Share #2 Posted August 20, 2014 Awesome!!! Sounds like it will be an adventure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted August 20, 2014 Share #3 Posted August 20, 2014 A lawyer type friend made me an LLC. It is a non-profit strictly for hosting kids triathlons. I am going to open a bank account this afternoon. I have federal tax ID numbers and shit. I gotta start asking people for monies soon. I don't have any money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrentonMakes Posted August 20, 2014 Share #4 Posted August 20, 2014 congrats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #5 Posted August 20, 2014 I don't have any money. I am not going to ask for monies on here. I am targeting some sporting goods stores, a local casino, some doctor's offices and maybe my employer as well as the wife's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted August 20, 2014 Share #6 Posted August 20, 2014 Are you a nonprofit? Ok, the company, not you personally. If you are a nonprofit, can I write off the fuel when I come back to help out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #7 Posted August 20, 2014 Will you be selling stock? I want in on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #8 Posted August 20, 2014 Awesome!!! Sounds like it will be an adventure. There is going to be a big learning curve here. I am very dumb when it comes to this kind of stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted August 20, 2014 Share #9 Posted August 20, 2014 I am not going to ask for monies on here. I am targeting some sporting goods stores, a local casino, some doctor's offices and maybe my employer as well as the wife's. I just wanted to be first. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #10 Posted August 20, 2014 Are you a nonprofit? Ok, the company, not you personally. If you are a nonprofit, can I write off the fuel when I come back to help out? Yes. I am a non-profit. The company is as well. I will have to check, but I assume that you could write off fuel? That is a great question. Can I write off hookers and blow now that I have a non-profit LLC? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopped Liver Posted August 20, 2014 Share #11 Posted August 20, 2014 PM the info to me. I want to donate $10 towards this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #12 Posted August 20, 2014 Is this you talking to your lawyer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #13 Posted August 20, 2014 Now that you are a business, Mr Obama wants you to pay for all the people who voted for him to sit around and do nothing but sell drugs and then riot when the police try and do their job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted August 20, 2014 Share #14 Posted August 20, 2014 Do you guys do money laundering on the side? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #15 Posted August 20, 2014 Will you be selling stock? I want in on this. No, I only have one stock. It is currently on my Remington 870. If I sold the stock on it then I would have no way to bust a cap in bad guys if they broke in. Ok, that's a lie. I do have more ways to bust a cap into bad guys but that's the only stock I have and I really don't want to sell it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted August 20, 2014 Share #16 Posted August 20, 2014 Can I write off hookers and blow now that I have a non-profit LLC?Only if they are event related... like in the recovery tent. B) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzieQ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #17 Posted August 20, 2014 even though your lawyer friend didn't charge you, how much did it cost for the llc? My accountant told be $1000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #18 Posted August 20, 2014 No, I only have one stock. It is currently on my Remington 870. If I sold the stock on it then I would have no way to bust a cap in bad guys if they broke in. Ok, that's a lie. I do have more ways to bust a cap into bad guys but that's the only stock I have and I really don't want to sell it. You were not lying when you said you were very dumb. I like honesty in a man, even a dumb man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #19 Posted August 20, 2014 Now that you are a business, Mr Obama wants you to pay for all the people who voted for him to sit around and do nothing but sell drugs and then riot when the police try and do their job There are several pharmaceutical reps in my neighborhood. But I have yet to see them riot. They are too busy driving around in their suits and perfect hair. Their smiles are worth more than my house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #20 Posted August 20, 2014 PM the info to me. I want to donate $10 towards this. As soon as I get things set up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted August 20, 2014 Share #21 Posted August 20, 2014 even though your lawyer friend didn't charge you, how much did it cost for the llc? My accountant told be $1000When a friend and I formed one a few years back it cost us $45. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #22 Posted August 20, 2014 Do you guys do money laundering on the side? No, you have to have money to be able to launder it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #23 Posted August 20, 2014 even though your lawyer friend didn't charge you, how much did it cost for the llc? My accountant told be $1000 26 dollars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #24 Posted August 20, 2014 even though your lawyer friend didn't charge you, how much did it cost for the llc? My accountant told be $1000 But she did all of the leg work for free. This was just a fee to the state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #25 Posted August 20, 2014 No, you have to have money to be able to launder it. not true...I give you money as collateral on a loan, then you make the loan to me and I never pay it back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #26 Posted August 20, 2014 not true...I give you money as collateral on a loan, then you make the loan to me and I never pay it back That sounds like some Joe Pesci Lethal Weapon 2 shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzieQ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #27 Posted August 20, 2014 I wonder how much of the $1000 fee is the NY state fee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #28 Posted August 20, 2014 I wonder how much of the $1000 fee is the NY state fee... Very little it appears. http://www.dos.ny.gov/corps/fees_corp.html Most states are very cheap to incorporate in. I form several corps a year in Texas. Last LLC was around $300 total. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #29 Posted August 20, 2014 Are you a nonprofit? Ok, the company, not you personally. If you are a nonprofit, can I write off the fuel when I come back to help out? You can deduct $0.14 per mile for volunteer work for a charitable organization: https://www.independentsector.org/vehicle_mileage A round trip of 3,400 miles will net you a $476 deduction. You can also deduct "out of pocket" expenses if the Parr8hed doesn't reimburse you. For the record, the IRS doesn't recognize whisky, hookers and blow as compensation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #30 Posted August 20, 2014 That sounds like some Joe Pesci Lethal Weapon 2 shit. where do you think they got the idea? ok,ok...I got another one....you said you were going to get some casinos to sponsor you right? So we set up a system to take bets on the events first I lose a big stack of cash (which gives you the money I want to launder) then you rig one of the races so that a long shot wins and I get the money back so clean I got to pay taxes on it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #31 Posted August 20, 2014 For the record, the IRS doesn't recognize whisky, hookers and blow as compensation. otherwise Federal employees would have to claim them when they go to tax payer funded "conferences" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopped Liver Posted August 20, 2014 Share #32 Posted August 20, 2014 not true...I give you money as collateral on a loan, then you make the loan to me and I never pay it back Best way to launder money is a pawn shop or gold coinage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #33 Posted August 20, 2014 Best way to launder money is a pawn shop or gold coinage. those high capacity machines at the Laundromat work good too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #34 Posted August 20, 2014 Wow, Nate and C_L, the original south eastern mafia. who knew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Silly Posted August 20, 2014 Share #35 Posted August 20, 2014 Best way to launder money is a pawn shop or gold coinage. Are those functions of your "charity"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #36 Posted August 20, 2014 Wow, Nate and C_L, the original south eastern mafia. who knew? Oh yea, ...for me it started when I worked with the Teamsters to get the cement for the parking lot at Nateland, then I needed some favors when PETA tried to have me shut down for the critter powered rides. When we upgraded the roadkill menu, I had to grease some politicians at the Dept of Health and when the EPA came down on us for the porta potties dumping strait in to the creek, I had to make some friends in the sanitation commission. I don't know about Texas, but here in PA it ain't the boy scouts who are in charge of that stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Kosciuszko Posted August 20, 2014 Share #37 Posted August 20, 2014 But she did all of the leg work for free. Did any of this leg work involve dancing and poles? If so you owe us pictures and videos, mister. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #38 Posted August 20, 2014 Oh yea, ...for me it started when I worked with the Teamsters to get the cement for the parking lot at Nateland, then I needed some favors when PETA tried to have me shut down for the critter powered rides. When we upgraded the roadkill menu, I had to grease some politicians at the Dept of Health and when the EPA came down on us for the porta potties dumping strait in to the creek, I had to make some friends in the sanitation commission. I don't know about Texas, but here in PA it ain't the boy scouts who are in charge of that stuff How come I never seen any royalty checks from Nateland? Most of your best ideas came from my box of brains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted August 20, 2014 Share #39 Posted August 20, 2014 Best wishes to your operation. Sounds like fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #40 Posted August 20, 2014 What will you call the first race? Parr8's Money Laundering Hooker and Blow Three Way to Benefit the Southern Mafia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #41 Posted August 20, 2014 How come I never seen any royalty checks from Nateland? Most of your best ideas came from my box of brains. business has been slow this season so your percentage of the revenues didn't even buy the postage stamp to send you the check with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted August 20, 2014 Share #42 Posted August 20, 2014 business has been slow this season so your percentage of the revenues didn't even buy the postage stamp to send you the check with Maybe you need to throw in some free chittlins with every visit to draw a crowd. Or maybe let them watch when Ellie Mae goes skinny dippin in the cement pond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted August 20, 2014 Share #43 Posted August 20, 2014 Maybe you need to throw in some free chittlins with every visit to draw a crowd. I tried something like that, but these were the only things that showed up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share #44 Posted August 20, 2014 Did any of this leg work involve dancing and poles? If so you owe us pictures and videos, mister. it took an awfully large number of replies for someone to get to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted August 20, 2014 Share #45 Posted August 20, 2014 So make with the pics of the podium girls...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Kosciuszko Posted August 21, 2014 Share #46 Posted August 21, 2014 it took an awfully large number of replies for someone to get to this. Stop diverting. You didn't answer the question and you certainly didn't post any pics. You keep the Forumites waiting much longer and this place will make the New York City draft riots look like nursery school. What will you call the first race? Parr8's Money Laundering Hooker and Blow Three Way to Benefit the Southern Mafia? You didn't put the word "Diversity" in there. That's racist! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parr8hed Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share #47 Posted August 21, 2014 Stop diverting. You didn't answer the question and you certainly didn't post any pics. You keep the Forumites waiting much longer and this place will make the New York City draft riots look like nursery school. You didn't put the word "Diversity" in there. That's racist! Sorry, by leg work I did actually mean tracking down all of the stuff I had to do. not stripping, pole dancing, or hooking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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