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The story of this morning


AirwickWithCheese
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Off work, I decided to have a late breakfast to coincide with First Take. This made me feel relaxed and
carefree. The drive to Tommy's Country Ham House was pleasant but there was a car in front of me at the drive-thru. This irritated me a bit but a glance at my new Shinola made me feel confident that I had enough time to order and make the drive to Mom's before the start of my show.

I could see that it was Tommy manning the drive-thru window. This made me feel assured I would receive my law enforcement discount and this made me feel thrifty and wise. The black female handed Tommy her money and this made me feel even more confident time was on my side. I observed Tommy smiling politely at the woman but keeping his hand outside his window as if to say, where's the rest?

I watched with curiosity as the woman began searching frantically inside her car for money. I found this amusing as I have been in the same position many times. Immediately, I thought of the chance to pay it forward and I tried to get Tommy's attention by waiving a dollar bill outside my window. This made me feel both superior and philanthropic. Tommy didn't see me. This made me feel invisible and somewhat angry.

The woman searched for a solid minute before shoving something in Tommy's hand. This made me feel ooptimistic again. Tommy handed the obviously agitated woman her styrofoam breakfast tray and she snatched it out of his hand yelling something inaudible. This was both amusing and curious.

I watched as she opened one of Tommy's delicious breakfast trays, yelled something and shoved it back in the hands of a bewildered Tommy. This made me feel like pulling a Ferguson.

Tommy disappeared from the window and this made me feel somehow Mayberryish knowing Tommy's business philosophy that the customer is always right. Tommy returned and handed the woman the tray with a pleasant, helpful smile on his face.

The woman grabbed the tray, opened it and made exaggerated gestures inside her Honda accord as if Tommy had insulted her with a note inside asking her if she was a prostitute. Her behavior along with the sad expression on my friend Tommy's face made me unclip my holster.

I watched in horror as Tommy handed the woman her money back and she literally tossed the tray back inside the drive-thru window. I could see the grits now upside down and ozzing from the tray. This made me feel foolish for originally wanting to help this worthless woman who was uncountably from another town.

I drove up and smiled at my humiliated friend Tommy. I fibbed and told him that I knew her from work and that she was a known mental patient. This seemed to relieve Tommy which made me feel thoughtful and naughty at the same time.

I arrived at Mom's but she wasn't home. This made me feel disappointed and alone. I went through the back and glanced at the clock on her stove which read 9:59. This gave me great satisfaction and I flipped on First Take to see Skip Bayless talking and preparing for the ice bucket challenge. This made me annoyed and I looked on top of Mom's fridge for my moonpie knowing she went to the grocery store yesterday.

No moonpie made me feel dejected and unloved. I turned the channel and watched the news in silence.

The End


With much love to my beautiful friend Kirbie

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Skip Bayless is a no talent hack that could not cut it at the Dallas Morning News.

 

Did you get your food correctly?  

 

I think you and Tommy should have had a chat.  You should let him know that if there is ever an issue at the drive through and you are next in line, he should ask the customer to pull forward so that you can get on your way and then he can deal with the crazies.

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I got up early, my wife brought me a cup of coffee in bed while I snuggled Rascal, the dachsund with the faulty back legs.  I then showered (drain is clogged again, gotta call Kevin the handyman), shaved, dressed and went to kitchen.  Made breakfast for the boys, got Ryans lunch ready for camp, had a cup of coffee, got the laundry in the bag to drop off at cleaners in the lobby at work, woke up Ryan, got him started eating and left for work.  the end.

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I got up early, my wife brought me a cup of coffee in bed while I snuggled Rascal, the dachsund with the faulty back legs.  I then showered (drain is clogged again, gotta call Kevin the handyman), shaved, dressed and went to kitchen.  Made breakfast for the boys, got Ryans lunch ready for camp, had a cup of coffee, got the laundry in the bag to drop off at cleaners in the lobby at work, woke up Ryan, got him started eating and left for work.  the end.


This is not honoring Kirbie.

This is sad in a losing it sort of way. Should I call the Richardson PD?
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I got up early, my wife brought me a cup of coffee in bed while I snuggled Rascal, the dachsund with the faulty back legs.  I then showered (drain is clogged again, gotta call Kevin the handyman), shaved, dressed and went to kitchen.  Made breakfast for the boys, got Ryans lunch ready for camp, had a cup of coffee, got the laundry in the bag to drop off at cleaners in the lobby at work, woke up Ryan, got him started eating and left for work.  the end.

 

Kevin?

 

Drano_Max_BuildUp_Remover.png

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So you real name is Kevin Zoo?  When will you be by to clear the drain, Mr. Zoo?

 

Man up Jsharr.  Clean your own drain.  And BTW - I do lawns and specifically Zack's lawn because he's nice to me.

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