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Farting


Square Wheels
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Why do people get embarrassed when they fart in public?  Imagine you're sitting in a meeting with some department bigshots.  You think you can sneak one out, but darn it, it was a noisy one.  I'd hope to die of a heart attack on the spot.

 

Everyone farts, why are we so ashamed of it.  People from Texas don't need to respond as we know they aren't ashamed of much.

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I feared I'd mostly receive this type of response.  Am I the only civilized person that holds them in and cause physical pain and discomfort?

 

So what you're saying then is that you were really hoping for a response from me…...

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I usually wait for an elevator to let them out in.

I let one go at the Naval Hospital Pensacola once. I had been out drinking all night in the hours preceding this incident. I was in the elevator getting off on a floor and a few seconds before the doors opened I let something out of my body that could be described as a stench that would gag Satan himself.  The doors opened, I stepped out and in walked the Captain, the Commanding Officer of the entire Hospital.  I saw a look of sheer panic in her eyes as the door shut and I bolted for the barracks.

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I used to get a kick out of farthing loudly in a grocery store in Boulder when I lived there.  There was a customer service desk that was always populated by several gossiping teenage girl employees, I loved walking by and delivering a huge fart and trying not to laugh, always keeping a super-serious expression.  It always completely shut them up while they tried to consider what the hell just transpired, then they would start hushed giggling with their hands over their mouths.  I am sure it got louder as I got out of range, though, but I was always laughing at that point, too.

 

It got so that if I had to fart and was in the area, I would try to head to that grocery store as fast as I could.

 

 

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the other day at the pet store, my stomach and asshole teamed up on me and started spewing out some noxious fumes.  Wife was embarrassed.  BTW, the smelled bad even to me and that there takes some doing, or dooing as it were.

 

Anywho, I did the right thing and walked over to the cat section of the store whenever I needed to let fly.

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I let one go at the Naval Hospital Pensacola once. I had been out drinking all night in the hours preceding this incident. I was in the elevator getting off on a floor and a few seconds before the doors opened I let something out of my body that could be described as a stench that would gag Satan himself.  The doors opened, I stepped out and in walked the Captain, the Commanding Officer of the entire Hospital.  I saw a look of sheer panic in her eyes as the door shut and I bolted for the barracks.

 

Perfect! Just imagine the thoughts of the people who entered the elevator as she exited, and they caught a whiff of what you'd done and you being long gone.

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I used to get a kick out of farthing loudly in a grocery store in Boulder when I lived there.  There was a customer service desk that was always populated by several gossiping teenage girl employees, I loved walking by and delivering a huge fart and trying not to laugh, always keeping a super-serious expression.  It always completely shut them up while they tried to consider what the hell just transpired, then they would start hushed giggling with their hands over their mouths.  I am sure it got louder as I got out of range, though, but I was always laughing at that point, too.

 

It got so that if I had to fart and was in the area, I would try to head to that grocery store as fast as I could.

 

I have been to that grocery store.  Thankfully, I have never smelled you. :)

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Perfect! Just imagine the thoughts of the people who entered the elevator as she exited, and they caught a whiff of what you'd done and you being long gone.

This is why I can never use a restroom after someone stinky has been in there!  They ain't blaming me for that!  :D

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