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Do you believe in yourself?


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I believe completely in myself.

 

I'm not sure where I got this, my family was far from supportive of anything I ever did.  If I wanted to go in one direction in life (carpentry) I was criticized for that being a bad idea.  Then a bunch years later when I chose a new direction (attempted to go to medical school) I heard what a foolish idea that is, why would you want to do that?  It seemed no matter what I wanted I heard I was wrong.

 

Somehow I didn't let this detract me.  I ended up being a decent carpenter.  I was licensed in the state of Massachusetts at the age of 18.  I believe that is as young as you can get your license.  I drank a wee bit too much in college and ended up with an average GPA and average MCATs.  Average people don't go to medical school.  I was accepted to an osteopathic medical school, but I had already moved on with life and made the decision not to go. 

 

I think I landed in a good place in life.  While I haven't always liked me very much, I always believed I could do whatever I set my mind to.

 

Henry Ford said something like “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."  These are very true words for me.

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I carry around a lot of self-doubt. It's probably good thing considering some of my past jobs. I don't mind double checking my work or even having someone else do it. I'm confident, but seldom over-confident.

 

Double-checking your work does not mean you doubt yourself. It means you're doing something where that extra level of scrutiny will make a difference. That precision is a good thing.

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  I ended up being a decent carpenter. 

 

I give you credit, as that's a much greater accomplishment than being an indecent carpenter.  :P

 

I've taken on projects about which I've only had the barest scratchings of knowledge, but figured I could teach myself what I needed to know or in the least certainly find someone who knew more than I did.  It's hard work at times but if one wants the enjoyment of learning something new and then applying it to the practical world I guess one needs a bit of self-belief.

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I have a lot of negative self talk. And it's a pattern that began in childhood. Very difficult to change. In fact even after all these years my coping mechanisms in life are prettyych the same as they were when I was very young. I guess it comes with my past.

That said, I have learned through the course of my life that most things I set my mind to accomplish, I do. I believe that the body, the heart, the brain and the talents God has given me in life are meant to be used. So, with that in mind. I try diligently to do so. I am a very self motivated person. But I have also learned that if one person believes in me, I can do just about anything that is humanly possible.

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Some years back, I worked with one person, an extreme perfectionist, who was convinced I could do nothing right. My work would always be mediocre and substandard at best or unacceptably sloppy at worst. And eventually, after hearing this message, I began to believe there was more than a little truth to it.

 

Then this coworker left. For the first month, nothing went disastrously wrong and I thought I was incredibly lucky. I had avoided problems — for now. Four months later, I still hadn't messed up. Now I was puzzled. There was no way I could be this lucky. After something like eight months without a major (or minor) catastrophe, I began to feel sorry for this former coworker. I've never known anyone who was in such desperate and constant need of a scapegoat.

 

Fast-forward to today. I've tried some things which have completely flopped, but that doesn't matter. I've tried. And I've always been able to redeem something from the experience. More importantly, the vast majority of the things I've tried have worked out far better than expected. 

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A decent percentage of my belief in self is based by whether I get support from others, especially at work.  I'm decent at what I do, but in jobs where I haven't gotten the support to do my best, or where my abilities have been constantly questioned or not respected/appreciated, even though I've been "needed", it's hurt my ability to believe in myself and made me question my abilities.

 

When I have people and experiences around me that affirm that I do have skills in my field, I'm able to believe in myself --and when I am, my ability to perform to my actual skill level takes off.  I'm still humble, but I'm empowered to the level of what I can really do, and I'm seriously thankful that it appears I've found the first place in years where I can be this way.

 

I have great parents; but they were always cautious people.  I think I may have chosen my field not just because I gravitated to it, but because it was one where they didn't know enough about it to encourage caution.

 

P.S.  To those people that didn't support me, I think: "I worked hard for you, but I could have done what I did for you so much better if I was able to work with you rather than having to overcome you."

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I was raised in a single parent family...when single parent families where not anywhere near the norm...my mom felt marked as a "divorced" woman...I was the second child and my sister, although very smart had mental health issues...I was the "rock" in the family for my mom...steady and "good"...out of place with my peers...cos I was "good"...I did not party and play as others did and went to college with one heck of a chip in my self esteem. I am not sure I ever recovered any of that "shit"....on occasion I have serious self esteem issues....but ya know...in addition to being a "rock" of strength...I am a survivor...so I carry on....I would love to change my mantra from survivor to one who thrives....but so far no luck.....   Recently, several residents have told me they wouldn't take my job for a million dollars...they think I am great...all of that is nice...but the truth is for me...it is one day at a time...and yeah....I am capable...however I lack  a good direction and/or proper motivation.  I think if I had a better focus...I could have done more with my life......or not...

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Petite, count me in as another who wouldn't take your job for all the money in the world. It takes a special person to do that kind of work and I know that person isn't me. Anyone who works at the kind of facilities where you work, especially working directly with the residents, has my complete and undying respect. 

 

You could have chosen to do something different with your life and it would have worked out well for you. But had that happened, your residents would be much poorer as a result.

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I believe in myself but I have low self image issues and feel like if I am not correct, do not know the answer, etc then others view me negatively.  It is all in my head and it is something I am learning to deal with better.  I am not who I think I am is sort of hard to deal with.

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I believe in myself but I have low self image issues and feel like if I am not correct, do not know the answer, etc then others view me negatively.  It is all in my head and it is something I am learning to deal with better.  I am not who I think I am is sort of hard to deal with.

 

I believe in you Jsharr!!!

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I've always believed in me but not as much as my wife believes in me.  She has convinced me over the years that I can do just about anything.  When I think about it there is not much I haven't done at least not much that I ever wanted to do (didn't want to join the military, not interested in burning women, kids, houses and villages), more of a lover not a fighter.

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I come the closest to LW.  My work life has also been somewhat mixed - on the one hand I think I found a really great field that suits me, but on the other at times I hate it.  Luckily the mode by far is I do enjoy it.  A large part of the hate is dysfunctional management and cow workers.  Thank goodness for the good ones!  I have always been sort of a jack of all trades, so as a result there are always people much more expert than me in certain sub-fields, which can be demoralizing, realizing I am never the best.  But I do very much enjoy being an "integrator", playing in the interstices of specialties.  I thoroughly enjoy learning from the masters and applying it, maybe with my own twist if I have the latitude, which is of course in short supply in these overly regimented corporate times.  I liken it to a medical GP - no glory that the sturgeons get, but the satisfaction of being in the trenches every day trying to make a difference.

 

Great thread, SW :)

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Nope.  Self doubt and low self opinion are cornerstones of my foundation.  They help keep me honest and miserable.

 

Self doubt and low self opinion can keep one miserable, but how do they contribute to honesty? You are capable of much more than you dream possible. 

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Self doubt and low self opinion can keep one miserable, but how do they contribute to honesty? You are capable of much more than you dream possible.

I concur with Destination. Low opinion doesn't keep you honest. Disbelieving in yourself or denying that you have talent, ability, worth is just as much a lie as is believing one's self to be more than he or she is. Honesty lies in recognizing and admitting to both our shortcomings and to those things at which we excel.
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