What happens if someone dies in your house?

[Randomguy]

This came about because a friend has a cleaning lady, and I asked if he bangs her.  He said no, she has a heart condition and would probably keel over and die.  I wondered if it was cool to have sex with the corpse, but that is another topic entirely.

Anyway, suppose you employ a cleaning lady (it is never a dude, is it?).  Suppose she has a heart attack and dies in your place.  What do you do?

Yeah, I know, you call 911 and they call you stupid because a corpse in your kitchen isn't a real emergency, call the damn coroner (I am imagining this conversation, I don't really know what they would actually say).  Obviously, someone would have to come and collect the body, but would you get charged for this service?  I am curious, and governments like to nickel and dime those in unfortunate circumstances because they are fuckers generally.

Scenario 2 is that the cleaning lady falls during the heart attack or covid or terminal PRI and bashes her head on the toilet and now there is blood and pink frothy brain tissue everywhere, plus she probably pooped herself to add to your problems.  Can you bill her estate for these cleaning expenses?  Would the municipality now call this a hazardous waste situation and forbid you from cleaning it up yourself, requiring you to enlist a very expensive service?

I know you people have experience in this, which is why I ask.

[Razors Edge ★]

Are there lots of hot cleaning ladies in NYC?

[Kzoo]

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

plus she probably pooped herself to add to your problems.

This and she is lying in a pool of pee.  Almost guaranteed...  And you hire another cleaning lady.  Good luck with that interview.

 

I think @Allen is the guy to call.

 

 

[Randomguy]

1 minute ago, Razors Edge said:

Are there lots of hot cleaning ladies in NYC?

What am I, a billionaire?

[Razors Edge ★]

Just now, Randomguy said:

What am I, a billionaire?

And is a dying in a house different than dying in a condo or apartment?

[Further]

I always call Mr Wolf, no complaints so far…

[Randomguy]

8 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

And is a dying in a house different than dying in a condo or apartment?

Doesn't matter, you have to be a billionaire to have a dead or living cleaning lady in NYC.

[Zephyr]

Call 911.  The police will come because all deaths outside of a doctors immediate care is considered a homicide until proven otherwise.  They will come and make sure there are no evidence of foul play, the coroner will maybe come and then the body snatchers will come and take the body away.

At least that is what happens in Canada, I assume being somewhat civilized, the US is kinda the same.

11 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I wondered if it was cool to have sex with the corpse, but that is another topic entirely.

I have seen literally hundreds of dead bodies, and never once thought "She's hot".  There is nothing enticing about a corpse, and while necrophilia is a thing, it is messed up.

[Randomguy]

Just now, Zephyr said:

I have seen literally hundreds of dead bodies, and never once thought "She's hot". 

Not with that attitude, geez...

[Razors Edge ★]

3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Not with that attitude, geez...

Maybe not a lot of hotties die up there in CAnada? 

[Randomguy]

2 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Maybe not a lot of hotties die up there in CAnada? 

No with all the Tim Hortons, Kraft Dinner, and poutine they eat up there!

[Razors Edge ★]

Just now, Randomguy said:

No with all the Tim Hortons, Kraft Dinner, and poutine they eat up there!

Maybe Magic Spoon is a bit less healthy than originally thought?

https://magicspoon.com/

 

[Longjohn ★]

25 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I wondered if it was cool to have sex with the corpse, but that is another topic entirely.

 

[Razors Edge ★]

BTW - those look like Honey Smacks (that are DELICIOUS) although I feel like at some point they were named Sugar Smacks.  @Philander Seabury?

Wiki agrees:

Naming

Introduced in 1953,^{[citation needed]} the cereal has undergone several name changes. It started out as Sugar Smacks.^[1] In the 1980s, it was renamed Honey Smacks.^[1] In the early 1990s,^{[citation needed]}, the word "Honey" was dropped from the name and the product was then simply called Smacks. That name is still^[when?] used in Germany,^[2] Spain,^[3] Belgium,^[4] the Netherlands,^[5] and France.^[6] However, in the US the name reverted to Honey Smacks in 2004.

In the UK in 1957, a similar product called Sugar Puffs debuted.^[7]

In Norway^[8] and Finland,^[9] it is known as "Honni Korn Smacks".

In Australia, the cereal had been known as Honey Smacks since the 1970s. However, Kellogg's Australia no longer markets the brand.^[10]

[Scrapr ★]

I think there would be a Medical Examiner (Quincy?)to come over and look for fowl play. Probably called by the cops. 

When WoScrapr passed using Death with Dignity I called the funeral home. I had already pre arranged cremation. They hemmed and hawed and something something with an ME. So I just waited. About 2 hours later the FH van shows up & they removed WoScrapr. No ME, no police

[jsharr ★]

Back in the day, when WoJsharr was making the big bucks, we had a house cleaner.  She and her husband worked as a team.  To the best of my knowledge, no sharrs banged or were banged by either of them.

[Randomguy]

10 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Maybe Magic Spoon is a bit less healthy than originally thought?

https://magicspoon.com/

Why would you infer that from the website?

[12string]

45 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I wondered if it was cool to have sex with the corpse,

If a cleaning lady dies in your house, I think maybe she has more to worry about than you do.

[2Far ★]

Dinner Reservations

[ChrisL]

40 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

Call 911.  The police will come because all deaths outside of a doctors immediate care is considered a homicide until proven otherwise.  They will come and make sure there are no evidence of foul play, the coroner will maybe come and then the body snatchers will come and take the body away.

At least that is what happens in Canada, I assume being somewhat civilized, the US is kinda the same.

I have seen literally hundreds of dead bodies, and never once thought "She's hot".  There is nothing enticing about a corpse, and while necrophilia is a thing, it is messed up.

Yeah pretty much the same here.  It’s considered a homicide until ruled a natural death. 

Most of my dead bodies were pretty f’d up and ain’t no way no how…

Did you read if the report of an LAPD officer who forgot to turn his body camera off & it recorded him fondling the breasts of a young woman who OD’d?  Now that I wouldn’t put past RG!!!

[2Far ★]

I'd call ServePro after I called 911, or maybe before. . .

[goldendesign]

There is a multi-step approach to finding corpses in a home.

1. Is it my home?
2. Who is it?
3. How did they die? *Follow up (3b)did I do it?
4. Is either 2 or 3 likely to cause interference when/if reported? *Follow up (see 3b)
5. Will they be missed if unreported? *Follow up (by how much)

Depending on these we allow the natural progression of a civilized society and call the authorities; or, rent a truck and dump the body in the swamp, preferably near a few gator nests.

 

_{Completely hypothetical I swear}

[Allen ★]

47 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Yeah, I know, you call 911 and they call you stupid because a corpse in your kitchen isn't a real emergency, call the damn coroner (I am imagining this conversation, I don't really know what they would actually say).  Obviously, someone would have to come and collect the body, but would you get charged for this service?  I am curious, and governments like to nickel and dime those in unfortunate circumstances because they are fuckers generally.

Scenario 2 is that the cleaning lady falls during the heart attack or covid or terminal PRI and bashes her head on the toilet and now there is blood and pink frothy brain tissue everywhere, plus she probably pooped herself to add to your problems.  Can you bill her estate for these cleaning expenses?  Would the municipality now call this a hazardous waste situation and forbid you from cleaning it up yourself, requiring you to enlist a very expensive service?

The police will not charge, nor will the coroner for picking up the body. 
If she bled out all over the floor, that’s on you to clean up. You call me and I bill your insurance company. How the clean up proceeds depends on what surfaces have been contaminated. Non porous surfaces (tile, marble, etc) can be just wiped down and sterilized. Carpet, wood, sheetrock, etc, are cut out, bagged, removed, and disposed as bio waste.  Then you have to contract with a carpenter to replace what I cut out. Insurance will cover that too. 
I am billed out at an immorally high rate.  

[Longjohn ★]

I called the 24 hr hospice emergency number and the nurse came out and made all the arraignments. The funeral home came right away and got my wife, within an hour or so someone came and got the hospital bed and oxygen generator and backup tanks. My sons moved all the furniture back to normal. Our regular hospice nurse and our aide came out later and gave their condolences. It was weird, for two years I took care of my wife in the living room and within a couple hours it was like she was never there.

[2Far ★]

7 minutes ago, Allen said:

I am billed out at an immorally justifiably high rate.  

 

[ChrisL]

2 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I called the 24 hr hospice emergency number and the nurse came out and made all the arraignments. The funeral home came right away and got my wife, within an hour or so someone came and got the hospital bed and oxygen generator and backup tanks. My sons moved all the furniture back to normal. Our regular hospice nurse and our aide came out later and gave their condolences. It was weird, for two years I took care of my wife in the living room and within a couple hours it was like she was never there.

It was like that with both of my parents who died at home.  Hospice is a bit different. 

My parents pretty much died in the exact same room maybe 2 feet apart but 30 something years apart. 

[Allen ★]

1 hour ago, 2Far said:

I am billed out at an immorally justifiably high rate.  

You should see what I charge for use of my abandoned well. 

[Randomguy]

1 hour ago, ChrisL said:

Now that I wouldn’t put past RG!!!

I would take a quick squeeze, just to check the temperature.  I am pretty sure that is how they teach you to do in coroner school, anyway.

[petitepedal ★]

So..the last on site death at work...last fall..elderly couple made their way out to the patio to have a goodbye coffee and roll with grandkids and son..the lady keeled over and died on the patio..911, the cops, and eventually the ME..then..the funeral home..she laid on the patio for 3 to 4 hours....

[shootingstar]

8 hours ago, Zephyr said:

Call 911.  The police will come because all deaths outside of a doctors immediate care is considered a homicide until proven otherwise.  They will come and make sure there are no evidence of foul play, the coroner will maybe come and then the body snatchers will come and take the body away.

At least that is what happens in Canada, I assume being somewhat civilized, the US is kinda the same.

After 22 hrs. not hearing from dearie via skype, I called 911 locally and got rerouted to 911 Vancouver 800 km. away to request police to check condo. Yes, dearie died at home...the coroner was called in while police secured the place...

I did speak with Vancouver police officer who entered lst with others, and also the coroner who dealt with dearie. There is police report on file about this.

Then the police in my prairie city came to my door early morning to confirm his death. The policy is police tells family member in person..to ensure:  a) truth/validity  b) person doesn't do something harmful (I guess) / drastic after hearing news

I cannot even begin to express what it means to do this for a loved one.  However I am the named person in the will to look after dearie's health...but I didn't know it at that time of this honour. So I acted instinctively as someone who loves someone.

[Bikeguy]

Hmmm..  what is really disturbing...   No one reacted to this.  

8 hours ago, Randomguy said:

I wondered if it was cool to have sex with the corpse, but that is another topic entirely.

So...you all must know how sick and twisted Randomguy is for even thinking about this.

8 hours ago, Randomguy said:

What happens if someone dies in your house?

If that happens... I probably really pissed off WoBG, and I'll be dead.  So I won't do anything.

[Zephyr]

52 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

Then the police in my prairie city came to my door early morning to confirm his death. The policy is police tells family member in person..to ensure:  a) truth/validity  b) person doesn't do something harmful (I guess) / drastic after hearing news

That is always the policy..., to send someone to break the news in person.  It is a gut wrenching part of the job.

[shootingstar]

16 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

That is always the policy..., to send someone to break the news in person.  It is a gut wrenching part of the job.

I'm sure.  I know my sister-doctor must do this.

[MickinMD ★]

On 7/20/2021 at 12:07 PM, Zephyr said:

Call 911.  The police will come because all deaths outside of a doctors immediate care is considered a homicide until proven otherwise.  They will come and make sure there are no evidence of foul play, the coroner will maybe come and then the body snatchers will come and take the body away.

At least that is what happens in Canada, I assume being somewhat civilized, the US is kinda the same.

I have seen literally hundreds of dead bodies, and never once thought "She's hot".  There is nothing enticing about a corpse, and while necrophilia is a thing, it is messed up.

That was the order of events when my father died at my mother's (now my) house and when my mother died at my sister's house.

After the police/coroner were done, we called the undertaker - a long-time friend of the family - who handled the rest.

The only thing funny about necrophilia is an apocryphal story I heard where a guy decides to wrap the corpse's legs around him while he's having sex and she goes into rigor mortis and he can't disentangle himself.

[Randomguy]

1 hour ago, MickinMD said:

The only thing funny about necrophilia is an apocryphal story I heard where a guy decides to wrap the corpse's legs around him while he's having sex and she goes into rigor mortis and he can't disentangle himself.

The ONLY thing funny is that?  You aren't trying hard enough!

That story is pretty funny, though, however mythical it may be.

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

On 7/20/2021 at 12:29 PM, jsharr said:

Back in the day, when WoJsharr was making the big bucks, we had a house cleaner.  She and her husband worked as a team.  To the best of my knowledge, no sharrs banged or were banged by either of them.

The husband is always the last to know. Sorry to be so blunt. 

[Zephyr]

4 hours ago, MickinMD said:

The only thing funny about necrophilia is an apocryphal story I heard where a guy decides to wrap the corpse's legs around him while he's having sex and she goes into rigor mortis and he can't disentangle himself

Rigor doesnt work that way, this story would only be true if buddy fell asleep with her legs around him and woke up several hours later.