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Do you have fond memories of your struggling years?


Wilbur

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You mean the memories are "fond" 'cause one doesn't have those struggles anymore.  If I do struggle later, it would be for entirely different reasons.  Tough times have different definitions at different times in life.  Hopefully the same type of struggle in childhood is gone by now into mid adult years and beyond.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

OF course.

One is about chess.  At the beginning of August 1974, after the first year of grad school at IIT, I wasn't getting paid my $325/month as a Teaching Assistant in the summer but had to stay in Chicago to do research full-time.  I estimated I had about $7 to spend for non-essentials during the last month before the Fall Semester began and I'd be getting paid again in September.

I walked into a used book store and there, on a shelf, was Chess for Match Players by former British Champion and International Master William Winter.  I skimmed through the book and there were all those terms I saw but never understood in newspaper chess puzzles: "Sicilian Defense," "Ruy Lopez," "English Opening," etc.  The book was $5 and I decided that studying it (I had a chess set) was what I would do for fun for the month.

I had been a good enough chess player to win my high school championship where none of us had studied chess books, but now a whole new set of concepts opened up to me.

When I finished grad school, I joined the U.S. Chess Federation (am still a member) and began playing in live, weekend tournaments and, within a couple years ended up 3-9 in the 12 games of the U.S. Open against strong players.

Since then I've been a very successful high school coach, a USCF Tournament Director, my official USCF rating is 2113: Expert where 2200 is Master.  After some years away from the game, I now play on the higher-rated boards online for Team USA, Team USA Southeast, and Team Maryland on chess.com where getting back into chess has sharpened my mind after I noticed my thinking was getting slower in my 60's.

Awesomeness 

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Nobody escapes this place without some form of tough times.   Sometimes they are an inconvenience, sometimes they define you.  Sometimes, as some have alluded, you didn't really know they were tough times. 

I look back and think, I paid all my college tuition, flying lessons and living expenses.  In college, I lived on a sailboat that did not have a shower.  Most often, I was anchored to avoid dock fees and started my day rowing to shore in a dingy.  I lived well. I took 5 month breaks in University to fly floatplanes in Northern Ontario.  My flying job paid $500 per month, $350 of which went to renting a glorified garden shed.  It was 10x12 feet but it had a corner shower and toilet, a counter with a sink and a hot plate.  No refrigeration.  

$150 for auto/gas and food didn't go far so I ended up going into outposts camps and took leftover canned goods.  If I could afford to go out with others for a beer, I made sure it was a place I could get popcorn or free pickled eggs.  If there was a lodge involved in the day, I always hit the kitchen staff up for leftovers or sandwich.  

That said, it was the best of times but the toughest of times. There were always some who were worse off than me.   When I joined the military, I felt spoiled.  :)

Pilots today don't have to resort to such measures due to the pilot shortage.  I am hoping this furlough due to covid teaches them something and they grow to appreciate how easy things are now.  They have been a pampered bunch of asshats for the past 10 years. 

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I would say my childhood right up to university years defined me, re tough times because of poverty. Very real. I mean when I was 10 yrs. old, we were living a 1 bedroom apt. with 5 children before parents bought their lst (dilapidated) house. 

 University meaning the only thing my parents paid for was some food (primarily meat) to fill my freezer and freshly cut veggies that lasted 1 month. I was a part-time cashier for K-mart from 2nd last yr. in high school right through the summer and Christmas rush during 5 university years. So that's 7 yrs. of same retail job. My family was poor enough I qualified for a part student grant for university. 

After university I had only $13.00 in my account. But then I spent 80% of wardrobe, sewing it for work wear for next decade. On a sewing machine my mother gave to me as a gift. It REALLY puzzled me, when I got the sewing machine gift....what kinda message was that to me as university grad.  :flirtyeyess:  During those lst 3 years of several part-time jobs after graduation, I also took several evening art courses and was volunteering in an organization.  A time period of concurrent learning at different levels and skills after university, but I was so pumped and ...loved living and working in Toronto. I certainly didn't have much money. Yup.  Big cities can fast track skills and learning for young adults.

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Never really had 'tough times', but one thing that sticks in my mind that occurred when we lived in Fort Collins and were going to CSU. Several years running, it seemed our oil fed furnace had problems during the Thanksgiving break, such that more than once our Thanksgiving meal was pizza. My wife has always been good with money, and kept us in pretty good shape during our leaner years.

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When my father died and he didn't have any life insurance and a pile of hospital bills I didn't realize how poor we were until I got older. 

About 3 weeks before Wo46 and I got married I lost my factory job and a few months after we married Wo46 got her hours cut to 32 a week. I would cut the neighbors lawn and make 5 bucks so we would ride our bicycles to the sports complex. On Tuesday we could get in for 50 cents each and it was 1 dollar beer and we would watch softball and have a night out. 

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I've explained my background....which made self and siblings type AAA motivated to do well where we possibly could and not rely on parents for moolah.  If people wonder why some Asian kids of immigrants, seems so driven in school and for some in their careers...they saw too much hardship when growing up.

None of my siblings are slackers...our success stand on my parents' shoulders. As a strange cap, my father wanted a lovely coffin. WAAAAAy too expensive and it shocked us. Oh well.

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11 hours ago, Further said:

There was nothing fun in some of those years

The fond memories I have is from being young during those years.  When you are young, you feel strong and courageous.  Like nothing can touch you.

Not all the memories are fond.  Like, I remember crying because my starter kept going out on my bug.  I could not afford a new car, and needed my bug to get to work and the grocery store so when it broke ... my life was greatly affected.  I did steal a shopping cart at least once in my life.  I don't judge when I see someone stealing a cart.  I have been there.  Sometimes, it is your only option to get food back to your home.   I remember another memory of taking the bus with a sprained ankle.  I would crutch myself down to the bus. I also remember needing some dental work and it was not feasible for me.  I had to take a loan and paid on that loan for two years on a very small paycheck.  

My memories of poverty were not fun or fond.  I would not go back to those times.  Worrying about choosing between rent and car insurance created a ton of anxiety and stress for me.  Not being able to pay my dental work credit account made me worry and fret.  Not making my obligations was a terrible worry.  That is not fun and I was not fond of it.

Having enough money to pay for shelter, food and bills is a glorious thing.  Money doesn't buy happiness is absolute bullshit. I am much happier when I am not biting my fingernails worried about missing a bill to a creditor.

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There were times when we did without niceties, had to decide which bill to miss that month, but I don't know if I'd call it "struggling".  And life isn't much different now.  Better coffee and beer, all the bills get aid, but we still live a rather frugal lie with a lot of the same friends.

Of course, I also struggled with a dead starter on my 69 Bug.  Always made sure to park it at the top of the slight hill in the parking lot at work.  A couple steps to get it rolling, hop in, use the gravity starter.  Had a little hill in my driveway, too. Worked for a few weeks til I could replace it.

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I had bought my son a late model Geo for college. It didn’t have anti-lock brakes and I had forgot to teach him that on an icy road you have to let off the brake to steer. He was going down an icy hill on the way to church with a curve at the bottom of the hill. He locked up his brakes and missed the curve and hit a tree and totaled his car. We didn’t have gap insurance on the car so I had to pay off the difference between what insurance paid and what we still owed.

we had an extra vehicle at the time so I gave him my Accord to drive to college and I drove an old Ford conversion van. The starter acted up on the Accord but my son never told me because he felt bad about wrecking his car and now driving mine while I drove an old beater. His girlfriend got real good at popping the clutch while he pushed. At college he always parked at the top of the hill.

When my wife and I were looking for another used car for him used car prices were outrageous. A car salesman talked us into a brand new Daewoo but that is another whole story. We gave our son the Daewoo and I got my accord back. The second day I drove it I couldn’t get it to start. I bought a new starter and installed it. At supper we were talking about it and our son said it always did that, that’s why I always parked on a hill.

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