I am done- compassion fatigue

[Airehead]

I am going to vent and then a kindly moderator should delete this post.

I am done today--  used up.

Too many dying children, too many quarantines, too many days of trying to keep a lid on things, two many days in ER.  Einstein's fever is back up--- ok fine-- what are you going to do about it?  I cannot make it go down.  I cannot keep people from going to parties and catching COVID.  I cannot control any of it.

I feel like I have compassion fatigue.  Common signs include:

• A sense of hopelessness
• Decreased ability to empathize
• Irritability and impatience
• Decreased productivity and job satisfaction
• A reduced ability to feel pleasure
• Trouble sleeping
• An urge to isolate yourself from others
• Self-doubt and reduced self-esteem
• Signs of anxiety such as breathing difficulties, muscle tension and digestive problems

I have them all and when that doctor felt compelled to tell me that one out of ten people die from Legionella, that was it for me.  I felt the need to tell him that he was a pompous fool with the bedside manner of an old broom.  I also added that I would actually prefer the old broom to be in the room because at least it would be useful.  He probably didn't deserve all that but I feel a little better.

[Thaddeus Kosciuszko]

30 minutes ago, Airehead said:

I felt the need to tell him that he was a pompous fool with the bedside manner of an old broom.  I also added that I would actually prefer the old broom to be in the room because at least it would be useful.

Wow!

That comparison was being kinda tough on the broom, I would say.

 

And he deserved exactly what you dished out, and you served it right up in his face where he needed to get it.  He was so wound up in his doctor role he blinded himself to your needs as well.  Perhaps, just perhaps, because of what you said his behavior will become more sensitive and a host of patients and family members will be treated better from here on out because of it.

[Kirby]

Nobody could blame you in the  least.  Not only is it an overload of stressful, life and death matters, but this all impacts your sleep which further impairs your ability to deal with things.  I don't know how you handle it all, I'm just sorry you had to.

[Airehead]

30 minutes ago, Thaddeus Kosciuszko said:

Wow!

That comparison was being kinda tough on the broom, I would say.

 

And he deserved exactly what you dished out, and you served it right up in his face where he needed to get it.  He was so wound up in his doctor role he blinded himself to your needs as well.  Perhaps, just perhaps, because of what you said his behavior will become more sensitive and a host of patients and family members will be treated better from here on out because of it.

I did say it calmly, without curse words, and as nicely as possible. I did not slap,him. 

[Further]

1 minute ago, Airehead said:

I did say it calmly, without curse words, and as nicely as possible. I did not slap,him. 

I got feeling our kind, caring, compassionate, friend  Airhead, can slap someone silly without raising her hand or voice.

And we love her for it.

[maddmaxx ★]

5 minutes ago, Airehead said:

I did say it calmly, without curse words, and as nicely as possible. I did not slap,him. 

We're here to listen to your rants whenever you want.

 

 

 

 

The fee is very modest for the service provided.

[Airehead]

1 minute ago, Further said:

I got feeling our kind, caring, compassionate, friend  Airhead, can slap someone silly without raising her hand or voice.

And we love her for it.

You say the kindest things. 

Just now, maddmaxx said:

We're here to listen to your rants whenever you want.

 

 

 

 

The fee is very modest for the service provided.

I will,pay you Tuesday for a rant today. 

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Airehead said:

You say the kindest things. 

I will,pay you Tuesday for a rant today. 

I don't think you are wimpy?

[Airehead]

Just now, maddmaxx said:

I don't think you are wimpy?

Don’t make me laugh. I was enjoying self pity and now you ruined it n

[maddmaxx ★]

28 minutes ago, Airehead said:

Don’t make me laugh. I was enjoying self pity and now you ruined it n

[Thaddeus Kosciuszko]

29 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

The fee is very modest for the service provided.

 

28 minutes ago, Airehead said:

I will,pay you Tuesday for a rant today. 

 

Step right up!  Your credit is good!  Oh, I'm sorry, is this a five minute rant, or the full half hour?

 

 

 

[petitepedal ★]

I feel your pain and stress..

Today I talked to the daughter of our soon to be 99 year old resident who is not vaccinated...she was taken to the hospital on Tuesday...I just wanted confirmation of what she told a church member..who reported it to one of our residents...Yes..she has covid..but they only gave her 1 test in the hospital and you know they aren't  very accurate...and if you believe in the vaccine it isn't  an issue..and she went on to preach HIPAA to me...I just said I want to confirm the rumor and keep the other 200 residents SAFE ..I did not swear, I did not call her crazy for saying "mom has heart and breathing issues and believe the vaccine would be bad for her"...Oh and mom wears a mask....Well she takes it down to talk, it is loose fitting..and Monday..she forgot her mask and I had to bring her one...

Fatigue..yup...  that doc..like that daughter are both lucky we didnt smack them!!!

[Airehead]

49 minutes ago, petitepedal said:

I feel your pain and stress..

Today I talked to the daughter of our soon to be 99 year old resident who is not vaccinated...she was taken to the hospital on Tuesday...I just wanted confirmation of what she told a church member..who reported it to one of our residents...Yes..she has covid..but they only gave her 1 test in the hospital and you know they aren't  very accurate...and if you believe in the vaccine it isn't  an issue..and she went on to preach HIPAA to me...I just said I want to confirm the rumor and keep the other 200 residents SAFE ..I did not swear, I did not call her crazy for saying "mom has heart and breathing issues and believe the vaccine would be bad for her"...Oh and mom wears a mask....Well she takes it down to talk, it is loose fitting..and Monday..she forgot her mask and I had to bring her one...

Fatigue..yup...  that doc..like that daughter are both lucky we didnt smack them!!!

You give so much. Preaching hippa is no help people should just grow people or shut up. You showed great restraint. 

[Dottleshead ★]

2 hours ago, Thaddeus Kosciuszko said:

Wow!

That comparison was being kinda tough on the broom, I would say.

 

And he deserved exactly what you dished out, and you served it right up in his face where he needed to get it.  He was so wound up in his doctor role he blinded himself to your needs as well.  Perhaps, just perhaps, because of what you said his behavior will become more sensitive and a host of patients and family members will be treated better from here on out because of it.

I didn’t know anything about this disease and read up on it and read those stats. And even this loud mouth knew not to say anything.

[Dottleshead ★]

I guess it might help that the doctor himself probably feels the same way you do. He probably is exhausted, wants to go home, and just does bare minimum— get you the facts.

[Dottleshead ★]

In other words, getting sick sucks. Getting sick right now really sucks.

[Randomguy]

4 hours ago, Airehead said:

I have compassion fatigue.

A lot of people do.  The nice thing is that even though compassion levels get drawn down, a little distance and some sleep usually brings them back.  Maybe not to 'full' right away, but they can build up again over time.

You are tired, concerned, and overwhelmed, who wouldn't feel that acutely after what you have been through?  You are allowed to be human, and you will get through this.  Besides, everybody loves you and we have your back all the time!

[Dottleshead ★]

2 hours ago, Randomguy said:

A lot of people do.  The nice thing is that even though compassion levels get drawn down, a little distance and some sleep usually brings them back.  Maybe not to 'full' right away, but they can build up again over time.

You are tired, concerned, and overwhelmed, who wouldn't feel that acutely after what you have been through?  You are allowed to be human, and you will get through this.  Besides, everybody loves you and we have your back all the time!

The only thing that'd help the way she (all of us are) is feeling now is if the economy was on the verge of tanking, there was civil disobedience and/or social unrest and we were threatened by the prospect of civil war.  Phew.  Good thing that's not going on.

[Airehead]

6 hours ago, Randomguy said:

A lot of people do.  The nice thing is that even though compassion levels get drawn down, a little distance and some sleep usually brings them back.  Maybe not to 'full' right away, but they can build up again over time.

You are tired, concerned, and overwhelmed, who wouldn't feel that acutely after what you have been through?  You are allowed to be human, and you will get through this.  Besides, everybody loves you and we have your back all the time!

Thank you. I am getting up to do it again. 

[donkpow]

Wow, what a coincidence! I've had those very symptoms for over ten years. I thought it was old age.

[Parr8hed]

Rant when you need to.  Everyone goes through this from time to time.  But don't lose it completely.  That what makes you the wonderful person that you are.  But I know all too well, a caring person can only do so much.  Hang in there kid.  Holler if I can do anything to help you.  

[bikeman564™]

11 hours ago, Airehead said:

I felt the need to tell him that he was a pompous fool

Asshole would be better fitting. When I was going thru my carcinoid tumor endeavor, I had IIRC 8 doctors. Not one said, x/y people die from this. That was a blatant statement. A better way to state would be, "90% of people recover", or better  yet "this has a high possibility of recovery".

[Airehead]

Now we should delete this thread. 

[shootingstar]

10 hours ago, petitepedal said:

I feel your pain and stress..

Today I talked to the daughter of our soon to be 99 year old resident who is not vaccinated...she was taken to the hospital on Tuesday...I just wanted confirmation of what she told a church member..who reported it to one of our residents...Yes..she has covid..but they only gave her 1 test in the hospital and you know they aren't  very accurate...and if you believe in the vaccine it isn't  an issue..and she went on to preach HIPAA to me...I just said I want to confirm the rumor and keep the other 200 residents SAFE ..I did not swear, I did not call her crazy for saying "mom has heart and breathing issues and believe the vaccine would be bad for her"...Oh and mom wears a mask....Well she takes it down to talk, it is loose fitting..and Monday..she forgot her mask and I had to bring her one...

Fatigue..yup...  that doc..like that daughter are both lucky we didnt smack them!!!

You're like a bamboo..flexible but not breaking yet.  

[Randomguy]

2 hours ago, bikeman564™ said:

Asshole would be better fitting. When I was going thru my carcinoid tumor endeavor, I had IIRC 8 doctors. Not one said, x/y people die from this. That was a blatant statement. A better way to state would be, "90% of people recover", or better  yet "this has a high possibility of recovery".

I am actually one of the people like the unvarnished realistic approach, but as a patient, at least as long as I am coherent.  I want to know everything, who doesn't like knowledge and to know the plan? 

That said, I know enough to know that you do NOT say that to family members who are worried sick, burned the candle on all ends, and have been sleep-deprived and been through the wringer.  Guy should know better than that and say something like "We are not out of the woods yet, but we are expecting a good prognosis and most patients recover in x number of days or so".  Really, how hard is that?

[bikeman564™]

3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I am actually one of the people like the unvarnished realistic approach, but as a patient, at least as long as I am coherent.  I want to know everything, who doesn't like knowledge and to know the plan? 

 

None of my doctors sugar coated anything, and should not. Be blunt. But the approach as you stated, sucked. There are multiple ways to say things. What you said, is what should of been said. Nice words there.

[Razors Edge ★]

3 minutes ago, bikeman564™ said:

None of my doctors sugar coated anything, and should not. Be blunt. But the approach as you stated, sucked. There are multiple ways to say things. What you said, is what should of been said. Nice words there.

Pretty much this in a nutshell.  But I guess the challenge always remains balancing those shitty bedside doctors or nurses vs their actual capabilities.  Do you want the doctor who has a near perfect success rate working on you (but a totally asocial jerk) or the so-so new doctor (with great empathy)?  And, sadly, the darn compassion fatigue is across the board in healthcare - patients to nurses to family to doctors to admins and beyond.

I think if a doctor or nurse is saying that sort of stuff to the patient, they better have a good reason for phrasing it that way, or it is risky and can have adverse impacts on treatment.

[MickinMD ★]

You need to recharge your mental batteries.

I spent the past year so stressed out so often about things being delayed, going slow, unexpected expenses, etc. with the house rebuild that I'm not handling stress well now. Two small things the contractor hasn't completed and  waiting for a permit to replace my fence are bugging me more than they should.

I need a vacation and may just spend a week at an out-of-state cousin's to get away from it all, clear my mind, and see things more objectively.

I was too upset about my new furnace not working this AM to eat breakfast even though I don't need it to work for at least a couple weeks, knew it was under warranty and the contractor would take care of it.

It wasn't until after the heating company guy called me that my appetite came back and I had brunch at 11 am.

It's a great day outside today.  Some yard work will relax me.

[12string]

I can't even imagine the stress.  I'm not even dealing with lives here, and I had to ask a colleague to respond to an email because I was so over it mine would have started something like, "Jane, you ignorant slut!"

[Dottleshead ★]

6 hours ago, Airehead said:

Now we should delete this thread. 

Post Of The Year.

[Dottleshead ★]

16 hours ago, shootingstar said:

You're like a bamboo..flexible but not breaking yet.  

Bamboo is tough!