Jump to content

You people are still mind-bogglingly dumb with your key habits...


Randomguy
 Share

Recommended Posts

I am still constantly hearing people say they can't find their keys, and the reason is straightforward - you are stupid.  It is that simple, you are just dumber than dirt.

When I see people come inside their house or apartment, they toss their keys here or there, often not knowing where they are later when needed.  This should make you aware that you are a moran of epic proportions, and that you should create a place where you always keep your keys.  Like, duh, your purse if you are a chick?  You take the damn monstrosity with you everywhere because it holds things and keeps those things in a central spot.  Why would that hold true for everything but your keys?  "Oh yeah, I have this bag I take everywhere and I keep all my important things in, but I think I will take one of the most important things I could keep in there and hide the keys from myself every night."  Yay, you outed yourself as needing to take remedial education classes.

And guys?  Just as dumb.  Are you wearing jeans?  When you take them off, just hang the jeans on a closet hook and keep your damn keys and wallet in your damn pants.  The next time you change pants, offload the keys and wallet from the old pants and repeat.  If you instead take the keys and toss them wherever, you really are just as backwards as the chicks who can't keep their keys in their purses for some criminally stupid reason.  If you are wearing dress pants and need to fold and hang neatly, using a dresser drawer (the same one every time) does nearly the same consistent thing.  "I don't have my keys in my hand and I am supposed to be leaving, why don't I just look in the ONE DAMN PLACE I ALWAYS KEEP THEM?" should be the only thing you ever have to say to yourself when you need your keys, ever.

Seriously, you are really, really dumb if you ever need to look for your keys.  If you can't smarten up about it, you should really just stop bitching that you can't find your keys.

 

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites



My son called me yesterday from our parking garage.  He and two friends had come up here to take some old electronics to be recycled and to take some records to our storage faciltiy and to take some old furniture to donate.

They were taking the furniture and he called looking for his keys.

I asked him where the furniture was.

In the back of his Tahoe.

How did you get into your Tahoe?

Yep, his keys were in the back of his Tahoe.

RG is right.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, MoseySusan said:

My keys are right where I leave them, unless I let mr. use one. Then it’s epic proportions time. 

It actually strikes me as very poor planning on your part.  The question that you should be asking yourself is "Why doesn't Mr. have his own damn keys?"  You are married, you each should have keys for each lock, either home or car or gun cabinet.  Giving your keys to the other is blatantly courting disaster.  Someone needs to borrow your keys?  "Use the spare set, stupid, I am not giving you my keys!"

8 minutes ago, Old No. 7 said:

How long were you locked outside?

I have never lost my keys or wallet in my life.  I suppose one or the other could slide out of my pants or I could end up washing them if I am not careful, but I have been lucky so far.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

have never lost my keys or wallet in my life.  I suppose one or the other could slide out of my pants or I could end up washing them if I am not careful, but I have been lucky so far.

My daughter in law used to wash my son’s iPod occasionally. They don’t survive the washing machine. Don’t have to worry about that with the iPhone, it’s never out of his sight.

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have paid a pop a lock company twice just this year. I don't even lock the house...

Parker locked herself in the car when I first got her and then I Iost the key in June at their ballpark.  

Sometimes your words hurt.   :(

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I gave the gf a spare set I had made about six months ago.  If I lose my keys when out, I can always call her and have her get me inside, where another spare set I had made resides just in case.

Of course I am courting disaster in that if things go south and she turns crazy, I could wake up dead or with a horse's head beside me in bed.  She seems remarkably uncrazy at the moment, though.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I worked for a defense contractor in a classified facility.  I can’t tell you the number of times a freaking genius locked themselves out of their lab or SCIF by leaving their badge at home or in the SCIF.  

My wife and son are also notorious for losing shit and they are two really bright people otherwise.  Me, I’m of average intelligence if not a step behind most and yet I never lose my stuff.

So @Randomguy I call complete BS on your take.  

  • Hugs 1
  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, SamWithCheese said:

I have paid a pop a lock company twice just this year. I don't even lock the house...

Parker locked herself in the car when I first got her and then I Iost the key in June at their ballpark.  

Losing the keys whilst out is very different than losing them inside your house.  A new doggie will test you as well, was she laughing when she locked you out?   Locking them in your car can happen, still not the same as losing them in your home.

One time when finishing up a mountain bike ride, I gave my keys to one of my friends that I was riding with so he could open the car up.  Big mistake.  When it was time to go, no keys.

We found them in the bottom of the cooler, which he grabbed the minute he opened the car so he could eat some grapes he brought.  He didn't realize that he dropped the keys in with the same hand he was gabbing grapes with.  He was kind of spacey.  That taught me to hang on to my keys in all situations possible.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

I call complete BS on your take.  

WRONG!  Well, smart people can be dumb about certain things.  Losing keys is a dumb thing, which I will probably do now that I have been railing against it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I get home, I always empty my pockets at the same place. My failing is if I am putting items in the car, my hands are full and accessing my pocket to put the keys in the pocket is not an option. In the short time it took to unload, I will have forgotten where I laid the damn keys!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

WRONG!  Well, smart people can be dumb about certain things.  Losing keys is a dumb thing, which I will probably do now that I have been railing against it.

How can you be “dumber than dirt” and yet smart on other things???  Sorry man but you deserve this….

WRONG! 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Andy Rooney Signs Off Sunday Nights | David Boles, Blogs

Those eyebrows are epic!

That’s what mine would look like but the girl that cuts my hair and trims my beard trims them. I don’t like when they hang down in front of my eyes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My keys go on the desk with all sorts of other stuff like my wallet, sunglasses, spare wallet (all the nonsense cards I don't carry & cash), bike doodads, etc.

We have a table not far from the front door where all the other keys go - my wife's keys, the spare keys, the gym and pool card keys - and other small stuff like spare Metro cards and my wife's lip balms and sunglasses.

Easy peasy.

My wife loses and finds her Airpods at least once a day.  Not sure why she doesn't figure out how to leave them with the keys??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

How can you be “dumber than dirt” and yet smart on other things???  Sorry man but you deserve this….

WRONG! 

You ever date the space-case chick that got a 4.0 GPA but never understood a single joke anyone ever told her?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

My keys go on the desk with all sorts of other stuff like my wallet, sunglasses, spare wallet (all the nonsense cards I don't carry & cash), bike doodads, etc.

We have a table not far from the front door where all the other keys go - my wife's keys, the spare keys, the gym and pool card keys - and other small stuff like spare Metro cards and my wife's lip balms and sunglasses.

Easy peasy.

My wife loses and finds her Airpods at least once a day.  Not sure why she doesn't figure out how to leave them with the keys??

Yikes, that sounds like a recipe for disaster!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

You can't date them for long, no matter how hot they are.

My son used to date the hot & bat shit crazy ones.  My wife would get frustrated with them but I always told her it won’t last.  How do you know???  At some point the crazy just isn’t worth the hotness.  Give it time.  They all ran their course…

He’s been with a really pretty & not crazy girl for the past 3 years now. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...