Jump to content

went to a wake last night


12string

Recommended Posts

Another cousin.  She was 72, not in good health, no surprise.

My family has always had a great faith and understanding of death, so wakes and funerals are rather joyous events.

I don't know where they found this deacon, but he obviously knew little about that concept.  Most depressing prayer service EVER.  When he announced the first reading was from Lamentations, I immediately thought "uh-oh".  I got what I expected.  Between the readings and his sermon all about "Death is AWFUL.  God loves us, yadda yadda, but, wow death really SUCKS!" it was the worst wake ever.  I felt really bad for the immediate family that was there, it's been a rough few years for them, this so didn't help.

  • Heart 1
  • Sad 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Feel your pain, as I have sat through a few of those. Sad when the speaker did not know the deceased or did not gain adequate information from the family, so they could talk in a more personal manner. Celebrations of life are the only way to go. Some can get pretty interesting with some of the speaker's comments.

  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like my Dad didn’t get a proper send off. He was prominent in the church and in the university that he worked at many years. Due to Covid, it was limited to family and a few close friends who served as ushers and musicians. It was celebratory, but with appropriate recognition of loss and grief. 
Not sure if I mentioned it here, but the school in Madagascar that he raised the funds for and had built in 2015 was renamed for him after his death. 

  • Heart 2
  • Awesome 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dads passing was really the first one anyone really experienced and it was handled really poorly.  Nobody spoke at his which was odd. One of my BIL’s was supposed to but backed out. My oldest brother was still a drug addled mess and really couldn’t and the middle brother & I were kids.  My sisters really gave him crap for backing out but he really shouldn’t have been asked to do it as he hardly knew my dad.

FF 30+ years and we learned many lessons and our moms services went off really well. A really joyous and still sad celebration.  As I’m the only one in my family comfortable in public speaking I MC’d the service. 

She was really a pillar in the Indo community and the church was standing room only with people lined up outside. Really amazing how many people she touched over the years. 

  • Heart 1
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Longjohn said:

The worst service I ever attended was for one of my uncles. He had a farm, lived in the country and the only services he ever attended were JW. I don’t think he went often but they knew him so they had the leader speak at his funeral. It was so depressing. 

A coworker's wife passed. It was JW. The service was more a bible study than remembrance of her. 

Most depressing was for the mom of one of my best friends. The minister spent more time talking about things she wanted to do but never did than what she actually accomplished in her life. She wanted to do ballet, she wanted to see Paris, etc but never did. 

A family friend passed a few years ago. She was basically our adopted grandma when we moved to this area. We were always invited to their family events. I was closer to some of her grandkids than some of my own cousins. They passed out helium balloons and noisemakers to anyone who would take them. At the end one of the grandkids said "Grandma always loved parties so let's send her out right!" They release the balloons and tooted the horns. It was perfect for her! 

When my dad passed, we chose the pastor from Mom's church who is also a cycling buddy. When the family was in the room discussing the ceremony, we talked about all the crazy stuff Dad would do. Pastor picked up on that and shared a lot of the stories in the eulogy. I had been to a few ceremonies where he said to celebrate the life of the deceased, but this was a whole new level for him!

  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That sucks!

I had the same experience but at my daughter's wedding years ago. 

The minister, or whatever he was, said that in this relationship, there are 2. Then add in Jesus and it is 3. This ring is for you 2 but with Jesus, 3. Because there are 2 but add in Jesus, it makes 3. Because now there are 3 because is it was 2 before Jesus so now there are 3. Must have went on for about 5 minutes. :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

Wth, get me out of here! :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Mr Beanz said:

That sucks!

I had the same experience but at my daughter's wedding years ago. 

The minister, or whatever he was, said that in this relationship, there are 2. Then add in Jesus and it is 3. This ring is for you 2 but with Jesus, 3. Because there are 2 but add in Jesus, it makes 3. Because now there are 3 because is it was 2 before Jesus so now there are 3. Must have went on for about 5 minutes. :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

Wth, get me out of here! :lol:

Was it these guys?

 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Longjohn said:

In contrast to that was my wife’s celebration of life service. Everyone that spoke understood the concept you are talking about. I wish my wife would have been there, maybe she was. Everyone said it was the best memorial service they ever attended.

My wife's too. She would have been proud of us. The wine was flowing. Laughs abounded. I even heard one funny story I'm not sure I had heard before. I was the last one out & I really had a feeling of a weight lifted from me. A peacefulness

  • Heart 2
  • Awesome 1
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, 12string said:

Another cousin.  She was 72, not in good health, no surprise.

My family has always had a great faith and understanding of death, so wakes and funerals are rather joyous events.

I don't know where they found this deacon, but he obviously knew little about that concept.  Most depressing prayer service EVER.  When he announced the first reading was from Lamentations, I immediately thought "uh-oh".  I got what I expected.  Between the readings and his sermon all about "Death is AWFUL.  God loves us, yadda yadda, but, wow death really SUCKS!" it was the worst wake ever.  I felt really bad for the immediate family that was there, it's been a rough few years for them, this so didn't help.

As a kid, I always wondered why most of the funerals I attended in Maryland tended to be somber, but the one's I attended in my mother's hometown, Wilkes-Barre, PA, were joyous with lots of polka music, etc.

I learned that it has typically been the attitude of Polish-American funerals to celebrate the death, with the idea the deceased is going on to a better existence.

When my mother passed away, at the Catholic Church funeral mass the priest said my mother was one who always got his attention and made her opinions known.  Just then, the lights in the Church flickered out for a few seconds then came back on.  The priest continued, "And I think she's getting our attention even now."  Everyone laughed and left the church with smiles on their faces. That is an expected thing to do at a funeral in a high-percentage Polish-congregation church.

 

  • Heart 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...