Jump to content

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Dr Seuss


Square Wheels

Recommended Posts

17 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

I don't think that's me.  I didn't grow up with good parenting.  They aren't bad people; they just didn't seem to care I existed.  They offered minimal emotional support and no social guidance.  I felt like I raised myself.

This left me very unequipped to deal with emotions, in particular, loss.

Or cat is doing poorly.  She's 14.  I suspect she'll be gone soon.

@Airehead's dog is not well.

Several of you have posted recent losses.

I think this will be my last pet.

Don't give up on a pet. Give yourself another yr. or 2.

But yes, my heart is sore..I've lost sleep this year.

  • Hugs 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was a bit of a wreck when I lost the cat I had for 20 years earlier this year.  I'm not sure if I'd have gone out right away to look for another pet.  But I had a "cat in waiting" because my Mom's cat was staying with my sister and the cat didn't get along well with the other animals in the house.   I've definitely been happy to have my new kitty these past few months, and I can't imagine not having her here now.

But when you are in the middle of loss, it's hard to imagine every putting yourself in that position again .

  • Heart 1
  • Hugs 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

This left me very unequipped to deal with emotions, in particular, loss.

Or cat is doing poorly.  She's 14.  I suspect she'll be gone soon.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Dr Seuss

I agree with Dr Seuss...   

Over the years WoBG and I have had 7 dogs live with us (5 have passed).    Yeah it's tough, but I remember all of them for the good times we (the dogs and us) shared together. 

The last dog we adopted was 12 when we arrived at our home (Parker a Jack Russel).   On 12/12/21 he will have lived with us for 2 years, and he will be 14.  Sure he's old, he can't hear very well, and now he had no teeth.  Yeah we have a dog with no teeth... he had about 4 teeth when we got him.   He lost them about 5 months ago, they were in BAD shape, and they were starting to get infections.   

But he just LOVES to go for daily walks.   And when he meets other dogs, he just goes nuts... yeah he hates other dogs.  Makes you wonder what happened during his first 12 years.   But that's what makes him sooooo unique.  WoBG and I love him.  Sure some day he will pass too.   But in the meantime, Parker will have a good place to live and his daily walks.   

Within 1 to 3 months after a dog passes, we end up with a new rescue dog.  Somehow they find a way to our home. And new memories start...  

  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Loss is hard. Mourning the loss is ok. We lost Pouncer nearly 5 years ago after  15 very good years. I see pictures of her and get a little misty. I found an old collar of hers when I was cleaning the closet. Almost kept it because it felt weird to toss it, but I did. when we get a new dog, it deserves a fresh start. Once we get settled is AZ, I might start to look again. I’m feeling more ready again. Give yourself time to heal before you say never. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Out of the 4 pets I had when I was an adult, I only went looking for one of them.  The other three all found me and I took them in because the alternative was much worse for the cat.  It's perfectly understandable that you might not be interested in getting a new pet while you're experiencing the pain of loss, but it's hard to know what the future holds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a friend who loves animals. All her animals are rescues. When I met her she had a dog named Sheba. She and Sheba were so close and she talked about this being the best dog ever. Then one day at the visit to the vet Sheba was diagnosed with cancer. She posted lots of pictures of her and Sheba on their daily walks on the beach and then a week later she posted that Sheba had crossed that rainbow bridge. She couldn’t bear to see a pet suffer with poor health.

She has five rescue cats. Some she has had over ten years. One cat Pumpkin she had for twenty years. She had Pumpkin put down about a year ago and within two weeks had rescued a kitten from a truck stop parking lot. Her husband gave her a five cat limit but as soon as one passes she rescues another one.

It was soon after Sheba passed that she adopted Botox from the shelter. Botox is a black mouth Kerr. Completely different personality from Sheba but she quickly fell in love with Botox and he is her protector on her morning runs.

  • Heart 2
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This sucks for sure.  I haven't had another dog since my dog died of cancer in 2006, it was that distressing.  It was also costly as hell, I stopped counting what I paid after six months, and she lived another 3 1/2 years when the doctors said 3-6 months.  I couldn't afford another now, but I also don't have an ideal city to have a dog.  

I think in that interval, I have developed the Seuss perspective, somewhat.  One day I will have another dog when I have a yard and a place for the dog to run free.

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, Wilbur said:

I love dogs but I also love our parakeet.  I keep wanting to start a YouTube channel for it because it knows about twenty full sentences and at least 150 words.  He will be a bigger loss than the dogs. 

We had friends who had an African gray and that thing was hilarious. :D  It would imitate the phone ringing and then Hello!  And also the doorbell then the dogs barking. :D

 

  • Heart 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Philander Seabury said:

We had friends who had an African gray and that thing was hilarious. :D  It would imitate the phone ringing and then Hello!  And also the doorbell then the dogs barking. :D

 

I have a friend, close to 70 years old, he is giving a lot of thought to who he will pass his cockatiel to. He says he is sure the bird will out live him.

He got it from an elderly woman who was concerned about the same thing, he had 3 "interviews" with the woman and bird before he was awarded the bird.

  • Heart 1
  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, Square Wheels said:

I think this will be my last pet.

I'm in the same boat but luckily my pup is still relatively healthy (but growing old nonetheless).  I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a dog or cat or dogs & cats, but honestly, it is really tough to lose them.  We took a couple years between our last dog Lucy and our current dog Minnie, and then we were ready.

When we lose Minnie, there will again be a pause - a long or a short one we don't know - but it will give us time to process the loss, and to think about what's next. 

I might suggest talking to Jsharr about how fostering works.  You might get a lot of joy from filling in and sending kitties (and pups?) to their forever homes. 

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a string of dogs meet untimely ends.

The last one, Buddy, was a Brittney, about 2 years old. I took him out for his nightly pee and he took off in to the night. The geese down in the creek on the other side of the lower road started squawking and I knew where Buddy had gone. 

I called for him to come back just as I heard the squealing tires of somebody hot rodding around the corner toward where Buddy would cross the road. I heard the thump. I carried him home and he died in my arms.

I told my wife no more, I can't take this again.

That was at least 20 years ago, and I'm starting to think about getting another dog. Maybe after I retire.

  • Sad 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The love of a pet is very pure. Their passing is crushing. 
I have a 20 year old cat, and an 11 year old dog. I dread the day they won’t be part of my life. But we have two 4 year old cats that are great,  and I believe they’ll be even more loving when the competition lessens. 
 

I’ll be open to more pets in the future, but I have to figure out what my living situation will be in retirement. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a friend when I lived in Charlotte that had three goldens, he said he will get another new one every four years.  This was purposeful, so the loss of one wouldn't hit as hard as he would still have the others if something happened.  I can understand where he is coming from.  It is traumatic to lose a family member, although it is so much more so to lose your only furry family member.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Randomguy said:

I had a friend when I lived in Charlotte that had three goldens, he said he will get another new one every four years.  This was purposeful, so the loss of one wouldn't hit as hard as he would still have the others if something happened.  I can understand where he is coming from.  It is traumatic to lose a family member, although it is so much more so to lose your only furry family member.

That is actually a pretty good idea, have your dogs in parallel instead of series!  Or like laddered bonds. :D

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...