Do you think cells phones have ruined the art of conversation?

[Square Wheels]

Where I work staff in the breakroom used to have lively conversations at break time.  Now I see people staring at their phones.  At best the conversation is "Did you see that really funny cat video?", "No, send it to me."

I see many benefits of technology, but feel it's gone a bit too far.

[Further]

I have noticed the same thing

and now people don't even talk on the phone, it is all text

[petitepedal ★]

Yes...it is the same for us..although we try to engage in some  conversation during break. 

But lunch with friends..or even back when I had get togethers at my house..one of my friend would often be on her phone texting instead of socializing with those in the room...

[Wilbur ★]

My boss texts me to see if it is ok to call me.   

[Airehead]

I agree that conversation has changed. People don’t know how to do it any more. Text is not the same. 

[MoseySusan]

The addiction is real. 

[Kzoo]

I don’t want to talk about it.

[ChrisL]

Being forced into isolation for over a year I see people eating lunch & taking breaks in small clusters daily.  No phones, just conversations over coffee & lunch.

 It technically violates our mask policy so I have been capturing the images & sending them to HR for guidance. At the moment they are fine with it, hopefully the behavior won’t lead to any exposures. 

[Square Wheels]

We need the ability to contact staff in case of emergency.  We got a few of the younger staff together to ask if we could use a robocall system.  They said no.  Not because they don't want to give up their number, but because they never answer their phone, even if it's in their hand.  They said text only.

[Tizeye]

LOL

[Square Wheels]

1 minute ago, Tizeye said:

LOL

Has anyone ever actually been LOLing when they've typed LOL?  I don't think I've ever used LOL except to comment the use of LOL.

[bikeman564™]

IMO yes. I see people in restaurants or w/ other people, and they look at their phones 🤦‍♂️

[shootingstar]

As you all know, luddite slowpoke here doesn't have a cellphone yet. I'm doin' sloooooooow research. 

I can't see myself texting much on those tiny buttons.  I have very close friend in prairie city who has serious case carpal tunnel and problems with parts of her fingers....because she texts far too much!  She has had to take medical leave, works full-time at office at her desktop computer during this pandemic because she likes the ergonomic set-up better.

She can't even do any cycling because of her hand injuries.

I still have the art of phone conversation. Anyway working from home, 90% of time I don't even turn on video for meetings, it's all audio chat.

 

[Square Wheels]

1 minute ago, bikeman564™ said:

IMO yes. I see people in restaurants or w/ other people, and they look at their phones 🤦‍♂️

Why spend the money to eat out then?  

[donkpow]

Texting has ruined it. Sexting has enhanced it. IMO.

[Square Wheels]

Just now, donkpow said:

Texting has ruined it. Sexting has enhanced it. IMO.

You promised not to share that.

[shootingstar]

20 minutes ago, Square Wheels said:

Why spend the money to eat out then?  

As someone who doesn't have a cell phone, I totally agree. It makes no sense when I see 2 people where 1 person is spending over 50% of time looking at their cell phone. Worse when it's 2 people or a whole family. 

People have to learn, it's ok to sit in silence  for awhile in a restaurant. We also have to learn /keep the art of being bored, letting mind wander, be at gentle peace in the brain and you never know....how to think and express  in a wondering, wandering way.  I don't agree constant entertainment by a cellphone.  People wonder about stress, etc.  Constant occupation without freeing the mind to relax and focus not on anything particular is good to still...the brain activity. 

Nowadays we call it meditation.

[MoseySusan]

7 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

Nowadays we call it meditation.

My grandkids call it being bored. The adults in their lives are consistent with the message it’s not such a bad thing. But it is complicated. How much mental down time is enough, how to direct one’s mind away from looping traumatic memories, how to use meta-cognitive coaching to solve problems… not all wandering is the same.

[Ralphie ★]

This is the best place ever.

 

[Bikeguy]

D/W ETH is K

[Ralphie ★]

7 minutes ago, MoseySusan said:

My grandkids call it being bored. The adults in their lives are consistent with the message it’s not such a bad thing. But it is complicated. How much mental down time is enough, how to direct one’s mind away from looping traumatic memories, how to use meta-cognitive coaching to solve problems… not all wandering is the same.

Phones have really eliminated that total downtime that used to fill seconds or minutes or longer. I now find it hard to sit at a stoplight without reaching for the phone, but music is a good alternative. 

[ChrisL]

14 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

As someone who doesn't have a cell phone, I totally agree. It makes no sense when I see 2 people where 1 person is spending over 50% of time looking at their cell phone. Worse when it's 2 people or a whole family. 

People have to learn, it's ok to sit in silence  for awhile in a restaurant. We also have to learn /keep the art of being bored, letting mind wander, be at gentle peace in the brain and you never know....how to think and express  in a wondering, wandering way.  I don't agree constant entertainment by a cellphone.  People wonder about stress, etc.  Constant occupation without freeing the mind to relax and focus not on anything particular is good to still...the brain activity. 

Nowadays we call it meditation.

Why do people have to learn this?  Why is it that people looking at their phones in a restaurant bad or wrong? Is it because I don’t, therefore if they do it’s bad?  Why do we have to have idle time? 

People & times are changing. Technology is changing our habits for better or worse. Maybe conversation is ending, or maybe it’s just changing. 

We really sound like a bunch of  old codgers here in this thread. I can really care less what others do. Eat out & look at your phone. If it makes them happy I’m good with it. 

[maddmaxx ★]

Real conversation was dead long before the cell phone.

[Wilbur ★]

1 hour ago, Square Wheels said:

We need the ability to contact staff in case of emergency.  We got a few of the younger staff together to ask if we could use a robocall system.  They said no.  Not because they don't want to give up their number, but because they never answer their phone, even if it's in their hand.  They said text only.

Fact checked- True. 

When my daughters were in high school I would call them when they were late coming home and I would ask why they don't answer their phones.  Response_ "You never texted me!" 

[Mr. Beanz]

Yes! My mother often complained about her friends playing on their cells when they went to dinner. No w go and she plays on her cell.

I might take a pic of my food, I'm a foodie. But I make it a point to get off my phone after in an attempt to have an old fashion meal at the table. 

[Ralphie ★]

I am all in on the text before calling thing,  A phone call at an inopportune moment is very annoying.  It used to be the only technology we had so we put up with it, but now people, especially younguns, seem to have lost patience for that.  Texting is also a heck of a lot less annoying if there are people around you.

[Ralphie ★]

3 hours ago, maddmaxx said:

Real conversation was dead long before the cell phone.

I agree!  A real conversation, where people listen to each other and actually use that to determine what they are going to say next is a pleasure.  The opposite, serial monologues, sucks big time.

[shootingstar]

2 hours ago, ChrisL said:

Why do people have to learn this?  Why is it that people looking at their phones in a restaurant bad or wrong? Is it because I don’t, therefore if they do it’s bad?  Why do we have to have idle time? 

People & times are changing. Technology is changing our habits for better or worse. Maybe conversation is ending, or maybe it’s just changing. 

We really sound like a bunch of  old codgers here in this thread. I can really care less what others do. Eat out & look at your phone. If it makes them happy I’m good with it. 

Some people (not all people) talk about being stressed...all sorts of causes for sure.

If there are recommended vacations to turn off your cellphone even if one doesn't have any job/any manager who requires one to be on call or one doesn't even have children, then that's a signal, that some people don't have self-discipline to ignore/let go of cellphone for a few hrs.  Alot of the stuff is not emergency related at all. That's type of stress I mean. 

If people don't have idle time...then they must make that time..lying in bed/being on couch and do nothing. Relax the head. That's all, Chris.

[shootingstar]

41 minutes ago, Mr Beanz said:

I might take a pic of my food, I'm a foodie. But I make it a point to get off my phone after in an attempt to have an old fashion meal at the table. 

 Now that is a habit I occasionally indulge in....sometimes it is with a thought for a blog post that includes a well put together foodie dish.

[shootingstar]

2 hours ago, maddmaxx said:

Real conversation was dead long before the cell phone.

 Some truth here too! Depends on personalities of folks.

[shootingstar]

2 hours ago, MoseySusan said:

My grandkids call it being bored. The adults in their lives are consistent with the message it’s not such a bad thing. But it is complicated. How much mental down time is enough, how to direct one’s mind away from looping traumatic memories, how to use meta-cognitive coaching to solve problems… not all wandering is the same.

Sometimes daily or at least several times a week, being in nature, even if just a park, can help with ways how to get out of looping negative thoughts.

[maddmaxx ★]

1 hour ago, Philander Seabury said:

I am all in on the text before calling thing,  A phone call at an inopportune moment is very annoying.  It used to be the only technology we had so we put up with it, but now people, especially younguns, seem to have lost patience for that.  Texting is also a heck of a lot less annoying if there are people around you.

My family tries to text me when I'm driving.  The Toyota hands off phone system will not let you deal with a text while the car is in motion.  They know this but can't seem to break down and call me.

[Ralphie ★]

2 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

My family tries to text me when I'm driving.  The Toyota hands off phone system will not let you deal with a text while the car is in motion.  They know this but can't seem to break down and call me.

Yes, this is a problem. Our 2019 crv and my daughters 2020 Citibank both do a pretty decent job of displaying and allowing responses to texts while driving. 

[donkpow]

I don't look at the phone when I am in the car. Are you people crazy?

[maddmaxx ★]

3 minutes ago, Philander Seabury said:

Yes, this is a problem. Our 2019 crv and my daughters 2020 Citibank both do a pretty decent job of displaying and allowing responses to texts while driving. 

No one should be able to read nor respond to a text in a moving car.

[Ralphie ★]

3 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

No one should be able to read nor respond to a text in a moving car.

I don’t think it is any worse than a hands free phone conversation. But apparently the regulatory agencies don’t agree with you and have allowed it. 
Although, if my wife is driving and she gets a text I usually read it to her and respond for her if needed. I have not had experience with it as the driver. 

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Philander Seabury said:

I don’t think it is any worse than a hands free phone conversation. But apparently the regulatory agencies don’t agree with you and have allowed it. 

Hands free phones are for "yes" "no" "maybe" and "goodby".  It's a good thing I don't run the agencies.  Road Runner would have even more living bodies to kill the earth.

[Ralphie ★]

1 minute ago, maddmaxx said:

Hands free phones are for "yes" "no" "maybe" and "goodby".  It's a good thing I don't run the agencies.  Road Runner would have even more living bodies to kill the earth.

Car texting is the same.  Ok, etc. 

[maddmaxx ★]

Just now, Philander Seabury said:

Car texting is the same.  Ok, etc. 

Unless the car reads the text to you and responds with voice to text in return, it's not the same.  The roads are full of unexpected lane changing cars riding to their death now.

[Ralphie ★]

5 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

Unless the car reads the text to you and responds with voice to text in return, it's not the same.  The roads are full of unexpected lane changing cars riding to their death now.

Yes, it reads it to you and you use the voice command button to respond. 

[groupw]

Cell phones have changed the rules of engagement for conversation, but I don’t think it’s dead. To the original post, in my last job, I would often be the person on my cell at lunch, or if I was waiting for a long software process to complete. My job required plenty of engagement with clients and coworkers so sometimes I just needed to decompress for a little bit. So I would read articles on my phone. Sometimes even post on here!  If a client wanted to talk instead, I put my phone away and talk. 
When I go to eat with WoW or friends, I typically pull out my phone to adjust my hearing aids then put it face down on the table in case I need to readjust them. Otherwise I just use the phone if I need to look up some information related to our conversation. 
We often see people out with their phones out. Maybe they don’t know how to converse. Maybe they need to decompress for a little bit before they have to go somewhere else. I don’t know their story. 
The only time it really bother me is if they have children and the children try to talk to them, but are ignored by the parents. I half jokingly said one time they are probably posting memes of how their children are their life!

[Mr. Beanz]

As I mentioned earlier, ruins plenty of conversation IMO but I make it a point to put it down at meals. Some like this trip to Vegas, getting ready to eat at Hardrock Cafe, it is the only camera available. I'll take a few pics to document the experience then put it away to enjoy my meal. 

 

 

[MickinMD ★]

Another thing is that kids aren't reading books as much now, and I wonder if less use of their imagination to visualize what's happening, what the people look like and their surroundings reduces mental capacity in thinking outside the box.

No doubt, computers and smartphones have taken away some valuable aspects of life and conversation is certainly one of them.  When I visit my brother, I have to stick my head into my 13 year-old nephew's computer room to get a hello or goodbye.  It used to be the same with my other nephew until he got a little older.  If I take them places where they have to walk and see things, like to an amusement park, the National Zoo or Smithsonian in D.C. or National Aquarium or Maryland Science Center in Baltimore, etc. I get more conversation out of them in one day than the rest of the year put together because they have things to do besides what's on their phones.

 

[shootingstar]

15 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

Another thing is that kids aren't reading books as much now, and I wonder if less use of their imagination to visualize what's happening, what the people look like and their surroundings reduces mental capacity in thinking outside the box.

Blogging is a wonderful tool  for someone who is dually inspired by language/words and visual images.  However the images are taken by myself..except maybe 10% were dearie's photos..they are images positioned from my eyes/visual perspective.  

For sure, all my blog posts are creations that I visualized in my head..the words and then finding my photos to create  one aesthetic whole. I don't wander on the Internet  to  take topics  from someone else. It  is how I take a personal experience and express it in words and accompanying photos.  I scarcely doubt my best blog posts  would be that good if I  mimicked someone else's experiences.  In fact, I strive to create a blog post in my "voice".

There are tools to blog on ....an iphone.    I'm sorry, I couldn't think in a cramped way by punching my text,  on a teeny-tiny iphone, etc. I almost view writing online and adjusting photos, as having the right -sized  computer, not a teeny-tiny iPhone. This is no different, really from painting by sitting or standing with a painting easel at the right height..and your painting hand must free move freely ...and widely across the canvas, unimpeded by objects nearby.  Same for blogging, must give me physical freedom instead of straining to look at photos, text fast to catch up with my thoughts/inspiration.  

 

[maddmaxx ★]

I'll be in the lab.  Drop a post here.

[Wilbur ★]

Intra-generational conversation- No

Inter-generational conversation- Yes

[Mr. Beanz]

20 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

Blogging is a wonderful tool  for someone who is dually inspired by language/words and visual images.  However the images are taken by myself..except maybe 10% were dearie's photos..they are images positioned from my eyes/visual perspective.  

For sure, all my blog posts are creations that I visualized in my head..the words and then finding my photos to create  one aesthetic whole. I don't wander on the Internet  to  take topics  from someone else. It  is how I take a personal experience and express it in words and accompanying photos.  I scarcely doubt my best blog posts  would be that good if I  mimicked someone else's experiences.  In fact, I strive to create a blog post in my "voice".

There are tools to blog on ....an iphone.    I'm sorry, I couldn't think in a cramped way by punching my text,  on a teeny-tiny iphone, etc. I almost view writing online and adjusting photos, as having the right -sized  computer, not a teeny-tiny iPhone. This is no different, really from painting by sitting or standing with a painting easel at the right height..and your painting hand must free move freely ...and widely across the canvas, unimpeded by objects nearby.  Same for blogging, must give me physical freedom instead of straining to look at photos, text fast to catch up with my thoughts/inspiration.  

 

I blog all my rides. All original, all my pics unless someone, a blog follower sends me a pic of me/us on the bike. Also the videos. Can't imagine either, using material taken from the net other than my own.

I have been told that I am the biggest documentarian known, by some. Heck, it is all just a diary for me. I have every ride that we have done over the last 11 years. Never have I stopped since then.

You need to start making some videos too! 

[shootingstar]

16 minutes ago, Mr Beanz said:

I blog all my rides. All original, all my pics unless someone, a blog follower sends me a pic of me/us on the bike. Also the videos. Can't imagine either, using material taken from the net other than my own.

I have been told that I am the biggest documentarian known, by some. Heck, it is all just a diary for me. I have every ride that we have done over the last 11 years. Never have I stopped since then.

You need to start making some videos too! 

One day  some of  your rides/videos will be valuable, fun for loved ones. They will be.  Think of choosing the best ones, Beanz.

Without planning it  when I started my blog 12 yrs. ago...my blog gives slices of my life shared with dearie....it shows some of happiest memories and is evidence of experiencing some wonderful stuff together. 

I truly see my blog as  an expression of "me". It's on the same level as my oil/acrylic paintings and poetry that wrote long ago. At the beginning my family didn't understand why I was  blogging.  Now they do and know it's a creative urge I can't clamp down.  The handy thing about a personal but public blog, I don't have to waste many minutes describing a fantastic trip, vista to loved ones...all they have to do, is look at my blog! Then I can spend more precious time talking with them other stuff and focus on them.

I am the person in my immediate family who outwardly has been creative, artistic  stuff for...decades. (Not sure about the quality. ) Anyone who has known me well in person and for long, is not surprised at all.

I see cellphone chatter as useful/utilitarian for communication. But alot of that stuff is not  saved or not even coherent..decades from now.

 

[ChrisL]

4 hours ago, shootingstar said:

Some people (not all people) talk about being stressed...all sorts of causes for sure.

If there are recommended vacations to turn off your cellphone even if one doesn't have any job/any manager who requires one to be on call or one doesn't even have children, then that's a signal, that some people don't have self-discipline to ignore/let go of cellphone for a few hrs.  Alot of the stuff is not emergency related at all. That's type of stress I mean. 

If people don't have idle time...then they must make that time..lying in bed/being on couch and do nothing. Relax the head. That's all, Chris.

I getcha, I’m mainly trying to expand the thought process.  

Communication is changing.  I know you don’t have a smart phone but don’t think of one as a telephone you carry around with you. Think of it as a super computer in your hand. 

Need to make a call, sure can do that. Communicate via text & e mail, sure as well as on any media platform available.  oh want to video chat, have a zoom or teams meeting, can do. Want to play games, check the weather, look up sports scores,  get traffic updates do research, go shopping or just surf the net.  Can do easy with your phone and more.  No a smart phone can’t cook your meals but you can order dinner via your phone and the delivery person can find you in Central Park via your phone and deliver your meal there. 

The power of the smart phone is enormous and it’s changing the way we communicate, shoot pretty much how most of us live.  

Cell phones hasn’t killed the art of conversation, it just changed it. 

[MoseySusan]

2 hours ago, shootingstar said:

I'm sorry, I couldn't think in a cramped way by punching my text,  on a teeny-tiny iphone, etc.

I’ve watched high school students composing essays, oratory transcripts, debate cases on their iPhones. They are amazingly nimble with the tiny keyboard.