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On another note, FIL news


ChrisL
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So my FIL is sitting on about 1/2 a million from the sale of his house & wants to break out from the senior living place his wife made them move into.  He has 6 months to get out before he looses his $500K deposit.

I told my wife he might as well live out here (SoCal) than alone in FL or TX, places he’s considering due to low taxes.   She discussed it with him and he called last night and wanted to be sure we both were OK with it.  We told him get your butt out here, stay with us until you figure it out.

Something we are considering is putting his 1/2 a mil into a house and we all live together. We’d either rent out or sell our house.  

The main concern is he’s still  married and I don’t think they are divorcing, just not living together.  When he passes the house will be hers, not ours so it would be a sticky de tangle I think.  But we can tell that’s his preference and I’d be OK with that plan in a larger house where he had his own space and we don’t end up homeless after he passes.  

Secondarily is the MIL would not be welcome when she visits.  We have a mutual dislike for the woman.  My wife isn’t too cool with putting her in a hotel when she comes out but is otherwise on board with the plan. But the reality is in about 5 years she won’t be traveling cross country.  

It does look like he’s 100% on board with coming to SoCal & then figuring out living arrangements.  Hmm what to do…

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23 minutes ago, Airehead said:

Maybe if he has his own space the MIL stays in your space.  Get a lawyer for sure if this house buying plan happens.

Yeah it was really weird as he was talking about all of his assets coming to us when he passes and what our preference is when that happens. In real estate or liquid funds (his words not mine). Uh we haven’t spent one single second thinking about that…  It sounds like he’s already figuring out a way to transfer his assets to us when he passes.  

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4 minutes ago, denniS said:

MIL in the same house. Reality show waiting to happen. ChrisL and WoChrisL make bank.

I volunteer to be your agent. I get 15%

My wife joked that it would be funny if they got back together. She and I both know that will never happen.  

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54 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Yeah it was really weird as he was talking about all of his assets coming to us when he passes and what our preference is when that happens. In real estate or liquid funds (his words not mine). Uh we haven’t spent one single second thinking about that…  It sounds like he’s already figuring out a way to transfer his assets to us when he passes.  

Whatever is amendable....it is critical that there be a will updated/changed by him and properly signed as per law.  You really don't want to be homeless.

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2 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

Whatever is amendable....it is critical that there be a will updated/changed by him and properly signed as per law.  You really don't want to be homeless.

Yeah it will be a process.  His wife was a successful HR Attorney for the US Govt and does well in retirement. She doesn’t need his income nor assets and so far the split seems amicable.  They just want different things/have different priorities. I think he’s also thinking through that part but as they are married my first guess is what’s his is also hers…

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My BiL moved into a home, a new build, with an “in-law area,” like a studio apartment off to the side of the rest of the house. It’s becoming more common. Check into new housing developments for that kind of living space. 
I’ll echo he needs a lawyer. The legal language is “so-and-so is dead to me.” It’s hard to read, but for whatever reason that’s the language that keeps people out of losing stuff in probate. 

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1 minute ago, MoseySusan said:

My BiL moved into a home, a new build, with an “in-law area,” like a studio apartment off to the side of the rest of the house. It’s becoming more common. Check into new housing developments for that kind of living space. 
I’ll echo he needs a lawyer. The legal language is “so-and-so is dead to me.” It’s hard to read, but for whatever reason that’s the language that keeps people out of losing stuff in probate. 

My FIL is smart & financially savvy.  He’ll figure it out and we won’t sell our place without a clear path to home ownership after he passes.

As noted in the previous post I don’t foresee his current wife being a problem or needing his assets.  We actually are really saddened by the split as we love them both very much.   She’s the only person I know who is just a freaking genius but really down to earth.

She can address the Supreme Court (has done it) and yet talk to a simpleton like they are long lost friends.  Just an amazing woman. 
 

 

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8 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

My FIL is smart & financially savvy.  He’ll figure it out and we won’t sell our place without a clear path to home ownership after he passes.

As noted in the previous post I don’t foresee his current wife being a problem or needing his assets.  We actually are really saddened by the split as we love them both very much.   She’s the only person I know who is just a freaking genius but really down to earth.

She can address the Supreme Court (has done it) and yet talk to a simpleton like they are long lost friends.  Just an amazing woman. 

So in the split, does she have her own place under her own name now?  That already would make it clearer/easier for everyone going forward and for him to finalize his will.

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I would talk/hire an estate planning attorney to develop the best plan for FIL’s assets based on what he wants to do with his estate. A third party may have a plan that no one else has considered that would protect everyone involved. Just my $0.02 but for you, it’s free.

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6 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

So in the split, does she have her own place under her own name now?  That already would make it clearer/easier for everyone going forward and for him to finalize his will.

Yeah she does.  The first clue that something was amiss was when they got their own places within the senior community.  We couldn’t quiet figure that one out.  He then confided to us that at their age (79 & 78) she wanted to be in this environment should their health fail them.  FIL didn’t want to be in an old folks home but she was adamant so they sold their home, split the proceeds and got their own places.   

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16 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Yeah she does.  The first clue that something was amiss was when they got their own places within the senior community.  We couldn’t quiet figure that one out.  He then confided to us that at their age (79 & 78) she wanted to be in this environment should their health fail them.  FIL didn’t want to be in an old folks home but she was adamant so they sold their home, split the proceeds and got their own places.   

That's a good outcome for him with different future housing needs to share with you and wifey.  So they aren't married now, how long were they married? 

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2 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

That's a good outcome for him with different future housing needs to share with you and wifey.  So they aren't married now, how long were they married? 

They are still married living separately.  They got married shortly before we did, pushing 30 years.  

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1 minute ago, shootingstar said:

If he lives with you, they should be divorced by then. Otherwise, doesn't make sense. And make his assets situation far more complicated in future. She's a lawyer, remember this.

I don’t think it’s up to us to try to make sense of their marriage & the situation it’s in. It is what it is.  We’ll go into this with our eyes open & protected.

For the short term the plan (for the moment) is for him to leave the senior living place, ship his belongings to a storage facility out here & shack up with us.  We’ll then sort out next steps.  

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1 hour ago, shootingstar said:

Whatever is amendable....it is critical that there be a will updated/changed by him and properly signed as per law.  You really don't want to be homeless.

But if it happens you can pitch a tent down on the bike trail. That will be convenient.

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23 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

But if it happens you can pitch a tent down on the bike trail. That will be convenient.

We sometimes see these older homes on a large lot in beach communities.  Real estate agents will tear the house down & leave a blank slate for the new owner to build on.  Now these lots are still over $1M.  

We have joked about buying one of these lots & pitching a tent on it.  

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One option would be to construct a single structure with a fire wall - and a property line - running down the center of the house front to back.  Essentially two properties, two houses, but with zero setback from the common property line so the houses butt up against each other.  (Fire wall is required by codes,)  It's a common set up in a number of cities and suburbs.  Sort of like two town houses, only on separate properties and only two units in the 'row'.  You'll need to check zoning laws to see if such arrangements are permitted.  I'd suggest asking the Local Permit Lady.

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That way you can enjoy living immediately next to each other, very nearly the same as living in the same house, but all the finances are 'separated' at the property line making each property and each 'family' essentially independent of whatever happens to the other because no finances are co-mingled.  Of course, the down sides are if one of the owners sells to a motorcycle club of the not-sidecar kind the remaining owner is stuck, and there have to be agreements about how to handle repairs to the common roof, common wall, and similar items, but it works.  My daughter bought one for her first house, the neighbors next door were decent, and it worked out well for her.

 

 

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