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This is how you do a Tipping Rant...


Nate
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You know what really pisses me off? Some idiot uses a quarter tank of gas to park my truck and then sticks his hand out expecting me to give him money... for that? Why? because he didn't wrech the fucking truck?

 

Listen you minimum wage leaches...Tipping is a city in China

 

Those days are gone here in America.

 

You want 15% start doing 100% of your fucking job! I sat here for 3 minutes with no fucking ice tea in my glass!

 

Listen, waitressing is the one job any woman can do. its not like brain surgury. Did I tip my brain surgeon? No, I didn't! I couldn't remember which pocket my money was in when he was done, but he didn't stand there like a bell boy with his hand out expecting to be paid! **** no!

 

he sent me a bill in the mail

 

That's what you should do, sweetheart. Send me a bill for your dubious services rendered. I'll look it over, send it to my business manager, and if he advises me to pay it, I'll fire him!

 

Otherwise STFU and get me some more ice tea

 

and by the way, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it. what the hell kind of place is this?

 

all I can say is those damn waffles better get here soon, my Coke is going flat waiting :angry:

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Listen, waitressing is the one job any woman can do. its not like brain surgury. Did I tip my brain surgeon? No, I didn't! I couldn't remember which pocket my money was in when he was done, but he didn't stand there like a bell boy with his hand out expecting to be paid! **** no!

 

he sent me a bill in the mail

 

 

You'll be pining for the days of a 15% tip when your waitress sends you a bill for $50,000 to keep your waterglass full.

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It is hard to rant successfully when the world is expecting a rant about a particular topic.  I half-expected a rant about circumcision.

 

I feel this is an uneven effort with periods of brilliance.  I especially like the part with the business manager, and I really felt that three minute wait for iced tea.  Although the rant did start slowly for me, I felt it build up nicely towards the end.

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its hard to do a rant on an arbirtrary topic. Its alot like method acting. You have to remember a time in your life when you were really pissed off and then use that emotion in the rant you are doing

 

yep, its a craft this ranting

 

some folks make it look easy, like that crazy man who lives behind the bus station up in town. But it takes alot of time and practice to get the rant to a froth at just the right moment

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its hard to do a rant on an arbirtrary topic. Its alot like method acting. You have to remember a time in your life when you were really pissed off and then use that emotion in the rant you are doing

 

yep, its a craft this ranting

 

some folks make it look easy, like that crazy man who lives behind the bus station up in town. But it takes alot of time and practice to get the rant to a froth at just the right moment

 

Something tills me you have a lot of material to work with.  There was that time yesterday.  There were those 2 instances Sunday.  And that time on Saturday.  Oh, and remember the issues that pissed you off on Friday...........

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Something tills me you have a lot of material to work with.  There was that time yesterday.  There were those 2 instances Sunday.  And that time on Saturday.  Oh, and remember the issues that pissed you off on Friday...........

 

I'm like the Marlon Brando of ranting

 

nobody understood a word he said, either

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Sorry, I have to dock points because he couldn't keep straight whether he had Coke or Ice'd-T.  No wonder the waitress doesn't want to refill his glass.

 

I was alluding to another thread today. Allusion is a literary device that good ranters use to tie together random ideas that float through a forum for added effect. The waffles were ordered with a large Coke in an RG thread this morning

 

you gotta keep your eye on the ball at all times

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Indy, you should know better than to listen too closely to Nate. He tends to blather on.

 that sounds like a case of sour grapes right there

 

it isn't my fault that you live in a police state :P

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I was alluding to another thread today. Allusion is a literary device that good ranters use to tie together random ideas that float through a forum for added effect. The waffles were ordered with a large Coke in an RG thread this morning

 

you gotta keep your eye on the ball at all times

People read RG threads?

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