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Haven't figure it out


shootingstar
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I haven't figure it out..all I know my BIL, who does research at university and is engineering prof...did present at a conference overseas sponsored by..NATO. I have no clue how often NATO sponsors scientific conferences.  I admit there are things not sure of details what family members do. But then, other family members didn't know really much at all what I did for my job(s) until I gave them a copy  of an employee profile that was on featured on a corporate intranet.

I'm certain alot of families are surprised...after a person  dies, what person has accomplished in various spheres of life.  Yea, sure you love a person for the primary role they gave to you. But I will say my father we didn't know cool details of his life..only in last decade of his life.  That he played a musical instrument in boarding school informal group with his pals, in China (would be late 1930-1940's when China was undergoing alot of societal change, civil war, political revolutions were starting..), etc.

 

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We don't really even know the potential of a spouse, until they try to kill you.  My parents never really understood my job or life and frankly, there are aspects of my daughters work and lives that I don't understand.  Sometimes people are guarded about some aspects of their lives they prefer their family not know.  I just work at leaving this place slightly better than when I arrived.  

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Honestly I have not really told my wife anything I did for some jobs in the environmental service or what my roll as a consultant for the CDC was.. most of it was on the need to know basis if you were not working with me.. hell we been married 21 years and this was all 10 years ago. 
Also.. my father was my fire chief for the department we were on.. As chief he did not know a lot about the “technical response’s” I was part of or got to read the reports. We still don’t talk about any of that. 

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A  person doesn't have to talk much about their jobs but if it's not an intelligence job and if your partner is really your best friend in life, it can help.  Dearie and I discussed our jobs over the years. It helped me that I could vent, he saw  key reports I was working on and people who I worked for. I've had some drastic things happen in my career that were quite upsetting. What I knew  of his jobs was the level of  expertise and negotiation, management styles he brought to his jobs,  his skills in analysis and above all his people  skills/communication style which transferred to cycling advocacy.

That's why I know how much he contributed to cycling advocacy in Vancouver. In addition, to seeing how other people responded to him in public forums/presentations, etc.

I don't subscribe to being too  vague, old style in couples especially when more women have a higher level of education now and work full-time. There are for some jobs, client confidentiality, this is understood. 

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10 hours ago, shootingstar said:

I haven't figure it out..all I know my BIL, who does research at university and is engineering prof...did present at a conference overseas sponsored by..NATO. I have no clue how often NATO sponsors scientific conferences.  I admit there are things not sure of details what family members do. But then, other family members didn't know really much at all what I did for my job(s) until I gave them a copy  of an employee profile that was on featured on a corporate intranet.

I'm certain alot of families are surprised...after a person  dies, what person has accomplished in various spheres of life.  Yea, sure you love a person for the primary role they gave to you. But I will say my father we didn't know cool details of his life..only in last decade of his life.  That he played a musical instrument in boarding school informal group with his pals, in China (would be late 1930-1940's when China was undergoing alot of societal change, civil war, political revolutions were starting..), etc.

 

My cousin Stanley was in the Navy and was assigned to NATO headquarters in Brussels.

That's all I knew about him - he was more than a decade older than me and I rarely ever saw him - until we became close in the 90's when he came back to the States and lived less than 2 hours away in Northern Virginia near Quantico Naval Base - he and his wife are now buried in the National Cemetery there.

I learned that he, an engineer, was on the NATO team that determined and approved which weapon systems each country could develop, in view of making sure ammunition, etc. could be shared and used on all members weapons, etc. as much as practical.  They did some designing themselves.

That was pretty cool!

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14 minutes ago, MickinMD said:

My cousin Stanley was in the Navy and was assigned to NATO headquarters in Brussels.

That's all I knew about him - he was more than a decade older than me and I rarely ever saw him - until we became close in the 90's when he came back to the States and lived less than 2 hours away in Northern Virginia near Quantico Naval Base - he and his wife are now buried in the National Cemetery there.

I learned that he, an engineer, was on the NATO team that determined and approved which weapon systems each country could develop, in view of making sure ammunition, etc. could be shared and used on all members weapons, etc. as much as practical.  They did some designing themselves.

That was pretty cool!

BIL's research expertise is in quantum physics. That's all I know. Dearie who had an engineering degree, said BIL is in the more intellectually demanding areas of engineering sciences. My BIL doesn't talk about his stuff unless asked. The closest we can relate to is his teaching load with various undergraduate courses and study/testing rigour on lst yr. engineering students, etc. I can imagine BIL is 1 of many profs., who can fill a 10 ft. blackboard with a mathematical formulae, etc.

His son had PhD work recently in proteins as part of research team. That's why he's going for his MD:  a MD'd person can get research grants more easily. Then his pediatrician  wife would have her own stories of patients and parents.

I don't even know what  sister-doctor witnesses in her work since she would be the physician to deal with car accidents, etc. Hospital in small community not far from highway. I am aware she does deal with domestic violence patients occasionally.

I am certain her hubby who is a postal worker delivery driver, has his share of stories... Toronto has got to have some unusual situations.

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2 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

I learned all sorts stuff from dearie about the oil industry... what I'm trying to say is if one takes even general interest in partner's work by asking, you would learn much more/support the person also.

I have learned a lot about the military, airlines, business and politics through experience.  I have learned a lot about pharmaceuticals, forestry, food services and banking by asking a lot of questions when I worked for companies in those industries.  If you take an interest, you will learn.  The source is less relevant. 

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12 minutes ago, Wilbur said:

I have learned a lot about the military, airlines, business and politics through experience.  I have learned a lot about pharmaceuticals, forestry, food services and banking by asking a lot of questions when I worked for companies in those industries.  If you take an interest, you will learn.  The source is less relevant. 

My career is central to asking the right questions and learning about the industries I worked in, since I 'm dealing with the information, their business processes, etc.. Sometimes I feel I'm a collector of trivia from various disciplines. One does find for certain professions, people mould themselves to fit for their occupation/profession so that can stay in/do a job and get paid. There are different work subcultures/workhabits...even within 1 large organization.  For me, no lack of learning something new every few days.

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I find most of my siblings really don’t know what I do. They know I transitioned LE  into “security” but my older siblings really have no clue what I do and quiet honestly don’t care.  

I remember my mom telling my Oma I had an “Office Job”.  That was about as far as they could conceptualize my job. 

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