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So I am dealing with someone who has severe anxiety


petitepedal
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She has also had a nervous breakdown

Haha Haha Haha...she is a new resident and my latest challenge

Any suggestions for dealing with this...It is not good to strangle someone...and I gave up alcohol for lent..besides driving home drunk is dangerous. 

I thought a breathing practice or meditation..but I dont think it will work for either of us.:frantics:

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Sorry

I have a close family member that deals with this.  Can be debilitating.  They know this but still suffer.  Medication and counseling can help.  

Take care of you.  Do something you enjoy to escape for a bit.  Maybe a guilty pleasure, or just unplug and take time to be still, read a book, turn off the phone and tv and computer for a bit?

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...my mother suffered from crippling anxiety attacks from the time she retired from nursing, at about 60, until her death at age 90.  She tried all sorts of counseling, and even hired some professional guy, who managed to compel her to confront her fears.  That was when she checked into a psych facility for about a month.

 

I don't think she ever did get a handle on it, but I am her child, so I would be the last to know.

 

I think she dealt with it as best she could, by staying busy with other stuff. Mostly, she liked to go shopping. So when she died it was a big job cleaning out her apartment.  I, too, thought breathing and meditation would help, but I don't think she ever managed to master it.  Mostly, I was kind of stuck trying to not make it a daily occurrence.

It did seem to help her to associate with other people, and use them to distract herself.

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...Oh yeah, before I forget. there are some absolutely killer anti-anxiety drugs out there available by prescription.  My mother had a standing prescription for Valium, before it became so widely recognized as addictive.  And there was something called Dalmane that was widely used off label for anxiety, back in the good ol' days.

At the time she died, my mom was micro-dosing Xanax. I tried a half a Xanax once, just to see what the deal was. I didn't give a fuck about anything for like a day and  a half. Xanax is some kick ass shit.

Google it, because there must be 50 or 60 of them, in three major classes.  I'm taking a low dose beta blacker myself now, to better control a cardiac arrhythmia I've had since I was 20, but never did anything about.  I'm not sure if it makes me calmer, but I didn't get real upset before I started taking it.  So I'm not a good test case.

 

If I wanted something for anxiety, personally, and I could find a compliant physician, Xanax would be my drug of choice.

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I'm not sure how long the lady has dealt with this, but she's unlikely to change at this stage in life. She's likely tried a number of ways to address it before.  I think all you can do is try to be kind when you're dealing with her, but recognize you're unlikely to make her feel better. 

As you get to know her better, you can see if she benefits by having little things to do that might distract her.   But you mainly need to make sure she doesn't make you too anxious because you are responsible for so many different things.

When I get stressed, I sometimes try to take a minute, imagine the most tranquil scene I can recall and think of some relaxing music.  Or if a situation is getting intense, I'll excuse myself for a couple minutes and just try to walk somewhere quiet.  At work I'd try to take a brief walk on the grounds or at least change my scenery at lunch time. 

Good lukc!

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Everybody here in NYC has severe anxiety.  I never did before I moved here and got involved in a couple of disastrous relationships and now I do, too.  Don't get in a relationship with crazy people is my advice, I wish someone got through to me on that one years ago.

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3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Everybody here in MYC has severe anxiety.  I never did before I moved here and got involved in a couple of disastrous relationships and now I do, too.  Don't get in a relationship with crazy people is my advice, I wish someone got through to me on that one years ago.

how i met your mother GIF

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10 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Everybody here in MYC has severe anxiety.  I never did before I moved here and got involved in a couple of disastrous relationships and now I do, too.  Don't get in a relationship with crazy people is my advice, I wish someone got through to me on that one years ago.

UPDATES ON CANNABIS LEGALIZATION IN NEW YORK

 

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Not sure this is super funny.  It can be very serious and makes life hard to manage for some.  Dementia can cause this too.  It can be very scary for people. 

Try to practice the most patience with this person.  Explain things clearly to help them understand.   It can also help to write things down for them so they can look at it later.  This is especially so if they have memory problems.

For you, deep breathing to help you cope with them.  These people can be very difficult.  I will not discount the toll it takes on you too.  Try to be kind and they might reciprocate.

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2 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

Not sure this is super funny.  It can be very serious and makes life hard to manage for some.  Dementia can cause this too.  It can be very scary for people. 

Try to practice the most patience with this person.  Explain things clearly to help them understand.   It can also help to write things down for them so they can look at it later.  This is especially so if they have memory problems.

For you, deep breathing to help you cope with them.  These people can be very difficult.  I will not discount the toll it takes on you too.  Try to be kind and they might reciprocate.

Yup..very similar to Alzheimer's..when she first moved in it was, losing her keys, the door not working, the elevator getting stuck :dontknow: since last Thursday when the monthly statements went out..it is concern over auto pay and bringing me a check cos she is sure it ain't gonna work

Now..all of these things can happen..but rarely do...I try to reassure her but by the 3rd time in one day..3 or 4 days in a row...:frantics:...I need therapy 

Not sure how this will work...I guess this is her last chance to live on her own..also apparently she has gotten worse in the last 3 months.

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5 hours ago, MoseySusan said:

Routine and predictable events. Visual schedules and photo roster of people she will see each day. 

Exactly my reccomendations.  Picture reminders for common things like what time the mail is sure to be in the box as an example. 

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1 minute ago, Airehead said:

Exactly my reccomendations.  Picture reminders for common things like what time the mail is sure to be in the box as an example. 

Problem being..we do not provide care or services..residents are "independent"..we are basically an upgrade to a condo...

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Is there something she's nervous about or something concrete that has caused her to think anxious thoughts?

In general, it's always helpful to get involved in things that take your mind of its problems if that doesn't mean you're delaying something you need to take care of now.

Putting a jigsaw puzzle together, playing cards, or a physical activity can give the mind a needed rest from worry.

Hopefully, she's sharing things that bother her and hopefully there is a happy ending possible.  Personally, I've always felt respected by others for my personal accomplishments and character that I've never felt too ashamed when bad things happened to share my problems and faults with friends and relatives and just doing that had a lot to do with reducing my stress levels at low points in my life.

In fact, their guidance was very helpful when I was overwhelmed with problems and wasn't thinking clearly.

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, MoseySusan said:

I'm all for it. We held out many years and tried behavior modification and music therapy with limited results. Now, #2 son takes a very low dose for his dog attack ptsd. Before he started, he would react violently to the sound of a dog barking. He still gets agitated, but he doesn't break things or pound his own head after starting this.

One of my BiLs had an extremely neurotic/anxious mother (could not ever drive on a highway type of thing), which she passed on to all her kids.  He's a pretty bright guy - aerospace engineer - but has suffered his whole life with all sorts of neuroses that held him back.  However, he passed the genes on to his kids, and when dealing with the massive anxieties of his oldest child (therapy, programs, lots of $$$), it pointed a huge spotlight on his issues.  He got medicated a couple years ago, and WHAT A DIFFERENCE.  Smiling, less stressed all the time, less beat down, etc..  He and the oldest are both on meds - but not sure if the same - and it has really helped the quality of life.  

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