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Pissed off at the job

Dottleshead

By Dottleshead
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Dottleshead Flahute

Dottleshead ★

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7 minutes ago, jsharr said:

Sorry Man.  Being unhappy at work sucks and it is hard to get happy once you are unhappy with an employer.  Most of us just want to feel valued and appreciated.  

Wise words.  I've been working hard w/ the throttle on high.  I just need to step away for a bit.

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Dottleshead Flahute

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I'm just not sure I can continue to work under these conditions.  I mean I absolutely can if I get my ego out of the way but it's clear I know more about the upcoming process during a sprint planning meeting than my colleagues.  The whole team called me out for upsetting the apple cart because they didn't want to hear what I had to say.  One gal I respect, even laughed. But I had a guy ping me later after reviewing some more training material to tell me I was right.  Holy shit.  I don't need training to tell them that what they were proposing is wrong.  Duh.  I wouldn't have made a big deal out of it in the first place if I wasn't sure.  So I work from home on a project that has zero visibility and is hanging on a thread and the one time I can provide value to the team I was shot down.  OMG.  The process is like 40 years old now and folks who are leading are running blind.  Oh, they'll figure it out and get there -- some smart folks -- but I'm just irritated that nobody would listen to me especially when it's clear to me I have more experience using the process than they do.  I'm a 55 year old senior software test engineer and I had no fucking input into the process. So I can get over it and accept the paycheck but call me annoyed.  The whole experience if you ask me is just the beginning.  I've got 8-10 years left to retire and I wonder how much more of it I can take.  I'm getting tired of hanging on -- wondering when I'm going to get axed -- and wondering if I shouldn't be starting the next chapter in my life. Financially and all the soft perks it makes sense for me to stay and get forced out but the longer I go the more drifting I do and the more lost I feel -- not to mention apathy..  If I was 10 years younger, I would have moved already.  I would have taken the initiative and gotten out of there.  10 years in one place might sound good on the outside but in the software industry that doesn't always work in your favor.  In fact it doesn't.  It can be seen as coasting -- which is what i feel I'm doing.  I work hard but I feel rudderless.  I've got tenure and I enjoy that -- but I feel like I'm rotting on the vine. It's not to late for me to get out of there and start my next chapter. But that's kind of a pain in the arse looking for new work in this field while already employed because I need time to study for the grueling tech interviews -- something my current job keeps me so busy that I don't have time for.  Getting old in the tech biz blows. It seems the options become smaller and smaller and the alternatives aren't necessarily better.

Anybody got any advice?  I'm totally listening.

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Dottleshead Flahute

Dottleshead ★

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Seriously some of them even laughed.  If that's not disrespect, I don't know what is.  Truth is i don't want to work the way they are doing business anyway. I've lost respect for some of my colleagues and apparently they have lost some respect for me.  I don't care.  I don't think this can be fixed.

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maddmaxx Flahute

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I once worked with a software design team that had preliminary design concepts that I disagreed with.  After losing a couple of arguments in team meetings I went and wrote a couple of short subroutines designed to handle some obvious (to me) problems that the team wasn't seeing.  Once the evidence was in front of them they realized that I knew what I was talking about and that they had not realized the problems of going down the path they were following.

You have to convince them in a manner that does not lead to arguments while also giving the team a way out of the predicament by allowing them to decide that "their new idea" has merit.

 

edit:  In the end I designed the structure of the entire program for them and because I was just a tech at the time I got to sit in the audiance and watch while they got the reward for a successful program.

My satisfaction:  I knew what really went down but the program was fucking great.

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Kirby Flahute

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I'm sorry, Dottles.  That sounds very frustrating. I'm totally non-technical and don't know the realities of the software world, so take any thoughts I have with a grain of salt.   First, would it make any sense to talk one on one with the woman you used to respect who laughed?  I know software types like their sprint meetings and stand ups etc, but I also think big group communication is about the least effective form of communication.  Would there be any benefit to talking to her one on one to discuss your idea?  Even saying "I respect your opinion so I was surprised when you dismissed this so quickly" and see if she can explain why she thought the other route was better?  It may be a waste of time, but there may be more to her thought process than was evident, or it might make her rethink her communication style.

You know how I feel about change, but it may be worth at least putting out some feelers to see what's out there.  If there's nothing, it may make you appreciate your current job more, even with its drawbacks. This may be especially true if you think the economic situation will worsen this year and your current employer is a good place to wait out a turbulent  time.   Or you may actually find something that interests you. 

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Wilbur Flahute

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2 minutes ago, Kirby said:

I'm sorry, Dottles.  That sounds very frustrating. I'm totally non-technical and don't know the realities of the software world, so take any thoughts I have with a grain of salt.   First, would it make any sense to talk one on one with the woman you used to respect who laughed?  I know software types like their sprint meetings and stand ups etc, but I also think big group communication is about the least effective form of communication.  Would there be any benefit to talking to her one on one to discuss your idea?  Even saying "I respect your opinion so I was surprised when you dismissed this so quickly" and see if she can explain why she thought the other route was better?  It may be a waste of time, but there may be more to her thought process than was evident, or it might make her rethink her communication style.

You know how I feel about change, but it may be worth at least putting out some feelers to see what's out there.  If there's nothing, it may make you appreciate your current job more, even with its drawbacks.  Or you may actually find something that interests you. 

100% great advice. 

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Ralphie Maillot Jaune

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14 minutes ago, maddmaxx said:

I once worked with a software design team that had preliminary design concepts that I disagreed with.  After losing a couple of arguments in team meetings I went and wrote a couple of short subroutines designed to handle some obvious (to me) problems that the team wasn't seeing.  Once the evidence was in front of them they realized that I knew what I was talking about and that they had not realized the problems of going down the path they were following.

You have to convince them in a manner that does not lead to arguments while also giving the team a way out of the predicament by allowing them to decide that "their new idea" has merit.

 

edit:  In the end I designed the structure of the entire program for them and because I was just a tech at the time I got to sit in the audiance and watch while they got the reward for a successful program.

My satisfaction:  I knew what really went down but the program was fucking great.

You sound a lot like a tech I work with. All us engineers love him because he just makes shit work with no muss or fuss. He was navy trained also. 

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maddmaxx Flahute

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5 hours ago, Philander Seabury said:

You sound a lot like a tech I work with. All us engineers love him because he just makes shit work with no muss or fuss. He was navy trained also. 

Navy enlisted men learn that around officers.  Real respect comes from chief petty officers.

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Dottleshead Flahute

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5 hours ago, Kirby said:

I'm sorry, Dottles.  That sounds very frustrating. I'm totally non-technical and don't know the realities of the software world, so take any thoughts I have with a grain of salt.   First, would it make any sense to talk one on one with the woman you used to respect who laughed?  I know software types like their sprint meetings and stand ups etc, but I also think big group communication is about the least effective form of communication.  Would there be any benefit to talking to her one on one to discuss your idea?  Even saying "I respect your opinion so I was surprised when you dismissed this so quickly" and see if she can explain why she thought the other route was better?  It may be a waste of time, but there may be more to her thought process than was evident, or it might make her rethink her communication style.

You know how I feel about change, but it may be worth at least putting out some feelers to see what's out there.  If there's nothing, it may make you appreciate your current job more, even with its drawbacks. This may be especially true if you think the economic situation will worsen this year and your current employer is a good place to wait out a turbulent  time.   Or you may actually find something that interests you. 

Thank you for taking the time to respond, Kirby.  I do think this is good advice but I'm still raw about what went down so I'm going to let some time go by before I speak to her.  I think the next step for me is just to simply update my resume.  Sometimes just the act of prepping it can bring into view thoughts and feelings that were on the back burner.  It'd help me sort out my true feelings anyway.

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MickinMD KOM / QOM

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21 hours ago, Dottles said:

I may be nearing the end.  I could be overreacting too.  But fuck those guys.

Bad jobs can be bad because of temporary reasons - where you can put up with it because you know things will change, or for a permanent change in conditions where you change things if you can and look for alternatives if you can't.

In the jobs I've had where I had a lousy boss, I knew at some point he/she wouldn't be my boss.

But then they lowered the standards for high school kids with No Child Gets Ahead and increased the avg. teacher's load from 120 to 170 students plus cut the class time for each course from two 50 minute classes per two days to one 85 minute class per two days, there wasn't an end of the tunnel to see the light at.

Then I gave up coaching cross country due to bad legs (now healed) but my pension is "back-loaded," meaning it gets most of its value only in the later years you work so I and and a lot of teachers suffered through several years knowing we'd take a big hit in our pensions if we quit.  I couldn't wait until I would be getting enough pension with health insurance to retire in 2006 and live frugally until Social Security kicked-in and I'd be comfortable.

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Dottleshead Flahute

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The smart play here is STFU, put my ego on the back burner, and wait it out.  I either retire from there or they push me out -- which means some kind of parachute.  If I even get fired (unlikely) I can collect unemployment for 6 months and that'd keep my mortgage paid.  Looking for a new job as a layoff victim is much easier than a 'quitter'.  But even then I think somebody will pick me up.  But I doubt I'll earn the same salary and I'll be the new kid on the block and I'll have to prove myself all over to yet another software company.  It's not what have you done for us, it's literally what have you done for us today.

 

But you have my empathy dealing with the government and elections.  That's no cup of tea.  

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jsharr Maillot Jaune

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I have no good advice.  Sucks.  Do your job to the best of your ability.  Offer input as you see best.  If they take it great.  Possibly go up the ladder to your boss about your concerns?  Tell him or her what you told us.  You have seen this before, you know what you are talking about and to be laughed at sucked.   The boss should have shut that shit down from the git go, but did not.

In this time of having a hard time retaining employees, they may see things differently and work with you towards a resolution.

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Randomguy Flahute

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2 minutes ago, Dottles said:

The smart play here is STFU, put my ego on the back burner, and wait it out.

Yup. 

Didn't you move to the ass end of the middle of nowhere because this company said it was ok?  Can you easily get another remote job when managers keep reversing course on what is and is not allowable in terms of remote workage?

I would take a Dilbert-style approach there of just not caring if I were you, maybe that would be more acceptable.

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jsharr Maillot Jaune

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10 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Yup. 

Didn't you move to the ass end of the middle of nowhere because this company said it was ok?  Can you easily get another remote job when managers keep reversing course on what is and is not allowable in terms of remote workage?

I would take a Dilbert-style approach there of just not caring if I were you, maybe that would be more acceptable.

 

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Dottleshead Flahute

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1 hour ago, Randomguy said:

Yup. 

Didn't you move to the ass end of the middle of nowhere because this company said it was ok?  Can you easily get another remote job when managers keep reversing course on what is and is not allowable in terms of remote workage?

I would take a Dilbert-style approach there of just not caring if I were you, maybe that would be more acceptable.

Yes.

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groupw KOM / QOM

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Yep it sucks when your work isn’t appreciated. Part of the reason I left my last job. From the first 2 months of my current job, working from home, I also found that absence from the office can make your contributions less valued. Only you can know if it’s time to stay or go. I also know that the later we get in our  career, the harder it is to make the changes that need done. Sending vibes to help you make sure you’re good with the choice you make. 

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Dottleshead Flahute

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So I talked to my boss and he hadn't caught wind of my scuffle with the team and I downplayed it though I did bring it up.  I'm known as mr casual and don't usually get into work scruffles.  As expected, he didn't have a problem with any of it since it was resolved internally and he has no problem with ideas being challenged.  I thought he'd say that -- really what else could he say that would be as wise? -- but I'm still a bit chaffed.  I'll get over it but if another incident or two like this happens, I'm going to --- oh never mind.  I'll probably squeal before and after I bend over.

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Bikeguy Domestique

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17 hours ago, Dottles said:

I had a guy ping me later after reviewing some more training material to tell me I was right.

Hmmm...   I always liked (being sarcastic) the people who after a meeting, offer their support.    Thanks for nothing...   

If the entire team is fighting your idea(s),  I'd suggest following Kirby's advice and see what you can find out.  Maybe... there is something else going on here??  

Maybe it's time to sit back and wait and see what will happen.  Your STFU idea, maybe a good plan for a while.

Worse case (or possibly the best in the long run) is get your resume ready, and look for a job.  I'd keep quiet about this... until you are 'ready' and then if and when the time is right talk to your boss and don't be mr casual about the conversation.  

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Razors Edge Flahute

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On 6/27/2022 at 5:46 PM, Dottles said:

I may be nearing the end.  I could be overreacting too.  But fuck those guys.

Are you hangry? Or maybe just tired?

Have a nice meal and take a nap!

But seriously, sorry you have to deal with that nonsense. Of course, some folks deal with that nonsense and then just check out.  Ie - stick around and get paid, but don't GAS anymore.  Eventually that sorts itself out way - good, bad, or indifferently - but that's certainly no fun overall.  

We've luckily had some good conversations with our money guy, and depending on how the market swings, I think I'm ready to call it a day at 55.  Of course, what then?  Don't know but I'm starting to feel more and more comfortable thinking I'll figure it out.  I love riding, but will that actually fill a day? :)  

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