Jump to content

Should I just feel guilty or should I


Rick5234
 Share

  

13 members have voted

  1. 1. Should I fork it over?

    • Sure, that would be nice of you.
      1
    • No, she made her bed...
      5
    • Yes, because..
      1
    • No, because..
      2
    • Other
      0
    • H & B
      4


Recommended Posts

"loan" her the money.  Knowing I'll probably never get it back.

 

The ex wife asked to borrow $200 so she can fly up to Buffalo to go the football game with her siblings next week.  Her brother is a big Chiefs fan, and the family if originally from Buffalo.  So, her brothers, their wives, and some friends rented an RV and are driving in from NJ for the game.  I guess he has extra tickets and has booked extra hotel rooms  Neither she nor her boyfriend works, he gets some sort of disability.  Why doesn't she ask one of her brothers?  Pride I think. Anyway.. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites



I would tell her to pound sand, sounds like you won't get it back, and you are being used as a financial pawn.  I don't know all the details, though, but I think you should takethe $200 and get a hooker, take pictures and tell the ex what you used her money for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know that if I asked my ex for money for something important he would definitely loan/give it to me, but I would never ask him for money for show game etc. if her family think it's important enough for her to be there then I'm sure they can get together and find some money for her

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Question for you Rick. What kind of a relationship do you have with your ex?

It's strange I guess.  I could write a page trying to describe it, but suffice it to say our relationship is good, we're friends.  Not any closer than when we were together though, I liked being married to her.  That is until she wigged out...  But for things like issues when it comes to the kids, she doesn't try, nor ever did try to exclude me from that.  I've helped her in the past knowing I'd never see the money.  Bought her tickets so she could come up and spend the last day's with her father when he passed, among other things.  And her family is great, I loved them.  Her mother didn't talk to her for almost two years after she found out what she did to me. 

 

And Suzie, I don't think she would ask if she didn't really want to go and had any other options.  She doesn't get to see her family that often.  Her brothers are in Jersey, her moms in Buffalo, and she's in NC.  I don't think her family knows the extent of her money situation or her brother  would probably send her a ticket.  He's pretty well off. 

 

I'll probably help her if she really wants to go. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's strange I guess.  I could write a page trying to describe it, but suffice it to say our relationship is good, we're friends.  Not any closer than when we were together though, I liked being married to her.  That is until she wigged out...  But for things like issues when it comes to the kids, she doesn't try, nor ever did try to exclude me from that.  I've helped her in the past knowing I'd never see the money.  Bought her tickets so she could come up and spend the last day's with her father when he passed, among other things.  And her family is great, I loved them.  Her mother didn't talk to her for almost two years after she found out what she did to me. 

 

And Suzie, I don't think she would ask if she didn't really want to go and had any other options.  She doesn't get to see her family that often.  Her brothers are in Jersey, her moms in Buffalo, and she's in NC.  I don't think her family knows the extent of her money situation or her brother  would probably send her a ticket.  He's pretty well off. 

 

I'll probably help her if she really wants to go. 

The picture looks slightly different now.... I don't know the history between you, but if you have forgiven and both moved on, and you can afford to lose the cash, then it would be a nice gesture.  I think when you have children it's good if you can keep the peace and be on good terms....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Give her the $ unless it is any type of burden on your current family situation. You are still tied to her with history and it's the benevolent thing to do.


PS. Please also send me 200.00.

Thank you

Sorry Cheesey..  budgets a bit tight lately.  Otherwise I would. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I probably wouldn't for something like a visit and football game, but it sounds like you have a good relationship and want to do it, in part for her family's sake, and I wouldn't feel guilty about doing it if you can afford to just give her the money and you have a good relationship now. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Roadrunner, giving someone something, freely and after consideration, neither makes one a sucker nor a fool. Believing you're going to get something in return for it after time and experience have proven otherwise though, might.

In Rick's case, he has no such misconceptions.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

For food, utilities, broke down car? Maybe.

 

To see a football game with family? Not only no, but hell no. 

 

I would have been embarrassed to ask to borrow money for such a reason.  it would seem her brothers could have chipped in the $200 if it is so important for her to be there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's strange I guess.  I could write a page trying to describe it, but suffice it to say our relationship is good, we're friends.  Not any closer than when we were together though, I liked being married to her.  That is until she wigged out...  But for things like issues when it comes to the kids, she doesn't try, nor ever did try to exclude me from that.  I've helped her in the past knowing I'd never see the money.  Bought her tickets so she could come up and spend the last day's with her father when he passed, among other things.  And her family is great, I loved them.  Her mother didn't talk to her for almost two years after she found out what she did to me. 

 

And Suzie, I don't think she would ask if she didn't really want to go and had any other options.  She doesn't get to see her family that often.  Her brothers are in Jersey, her moms in Buffalo, and she's in NC.  I don't think her family knows the extent of her money situation or her brother  would probably send her a ticket.  He's pretty well off. 

 

I'll probably help her if she really wants to go. 

 

This is indeed different information.  However, she should have no pride with the wealthy brother, he may not notice the money, but you will if things are tight.  

 

So, tough situation.  I don't think I would feel guilty if I decided not to send money, but I might feel I helped someone see her family and feel great for a little while if I did send it.  I would prompt her to ask Richie Rich first while letting her know things are tight, and see what she says.  An explanation as to why she won't ask him might help inform your position.

 

How did she wig out?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...