Would you lie to a friend?

[Kirby ★]

But only to make them feel better?

Suppose they ask you how a speech they did went, and it was pretty bad.  Would you lie and say it was good?  Would you avoid the direct question and try to find something honest but nice to say?  Tell them they raised some good points (and not mention it came after 20 minutes of drivel)?  Or would you be brutally honest as tactfully as you could be?

The speech is just one example, but it could be any number of different things. 

[petitepedal ★]

Depending on circumstances...

[shootingstar]

41 minutes ago, Kirby said:

But only to make them feel better?

Suppose they ask you how a speech they did went, and it was pretty bad.  Would you lie and say it was good?  Would you avoid the direct question and try to find something honest but nice to say?  Tell them they raised some good points (and not mention it came after 20 minutes of drivel)?  Or would you be brutally honest as tactfully as you could be?

The speech is just one example, but it could be any number of different things. 

Perhaps for a speech, to point out both great and areas that you know they would like improve it.

People are hard to gauge in certain areas.  

I'm known by my closest, long-time friends by simply giving an opinion that has some honesty. Someone actually told me this last yr., and said she valued this greatly in me vs. her other friends.  It surprised me alot...she said I don't beat around the bush/obfuscate.  So her other good friends don't tell her the truth, when that's what they want re opinion?  

I'm not going to tell a good friend out front something is shitty, UNLESS someone treated them that way.  That is me defending the friend and the friend knows it.  There are ways to say other things that need improvement... nicely.

Honest....this is all due to my family upbringing. 

[Wilbur ★]

Only to protect them from some other self destructive trait. 

[ChrisL]

I think it depends but I tend to be honest.  If my opinion was solicited I would give them an honest break down the good & the areas of improvement.

If a friend or family member did something poorly I wouldn’t just point out the errors or tell them it was horrible.  But I would compliment a job well done. 

[Ralphie ★]

Have you seen the Comcast infinity commercial where the Comcast sales lady tells the lady of a couple in a gondola in Venice that she can do better with her cell phone bill?  Then the guy gets all excited and says he can too and she sort of half smiles and looks away.

 

[maddmaxx ★]

Does this dress make me look fat.     

[Kzoo]

Had this type if discussion yesterday with my business coach.  There is honestly and there is integrity and above that there should be caring.

Honesty says you do it. Integrity would probably say you do it the right way.  Caring would say you temper what you say and reason your delivery.  All balanced by what Petite says -circumstances.

[MickinMD ★]

8 hours ago, Kirby said:

But only to make them feel better?

Suppose they ask you how a speech they did went, and it was pretty bad.  Would you lie and say it was good?  Would you avoid the direct question and try to find something honest but nice to say?  Tell them they raised some good points (and not mention it came after 20 minutes of drivel)?  Or would you be brutally honest as tactfully as you could be?

The speech is just one example, but it could be any number of different things. 

Yeah, a white lie, like, "Yeah, what you did was reasonable: who would have suspected it would turn out this way?" is something I might do after a friend did something absolutely idiotic.  But I'd tell the truth, in as gentle a way as practical, if lying would prevent a valuable lesson from being learned that would prevent a recurrence.

My next door neighbor - we went to school together - almost died of COVID in January.  She was hospitalized for over a week then was on oxygen for two months.

She will not get vaccinated.  I won't lie to her and say I respect her decision.  I tell her she's very intelligent but not thinking this through and I'd be pissed if she died on me due to stubbornness and left her asshole brother running the house.

[shotgun]

Yes, if he was bleeding out - "Rub some dirt on it and man up. You'll be fine!"

[Zealot]

2 hours ago, Kzoo said:

Had this type if discussion yesterday with my business coach.  There is honestly and there is integrity and above that there should be caring.

Honesty says you do it. Integrity would probably say you do it the right way.  Caring would say you temper what you say and reason your delivery.  All balanced by what Petite says -circumstances.

This. To speak truth without compassion accomplishes little. 

[donkpow]

"Would I" or "have I"?

[Zealot]

2 hours ago, maddmaxx said:

Does this dress make me look fat.     

Yes. Try black. It’s slimming...

[Airehead ★]

Did they ask for feedback?

[Bikeguy]

12 hours ago, maddmaxx said:

Does this dress make me look fat.     

Years ago I went shopping with WoBG.   She asked me....  "What do you think about this dress?" She had on a silver dress.   I told her, '"It's OK."   She asked again.   I gave her the same answer.  She asked again, this time adding... "Tell me what you think."    So I did.   "It looks like you are wearing a tube."    Let's say... she wasn't happy.   

The good news...  she never asked me again.   I learned it's MUCH better not to go shopping... I hated going to 'the mall'.   

Now WoBG goes shopping with a GF.  I go for a bike ride.    Win - Win.

12 hours ago, Kzoo said:

Honesty says you do it. Integrity would probably say you do it the right way.  Caring would say you temper what you say and reason your delivery.

So... did I pass the test?

[Longjohn ★]

20 hours ago, Kirby said:

Tell them they raised some good points (and not mention it came after 20 minutes of drivel)? 

You should invite them to the forum. That is our speciality.

[Scrapr ★]

WoScrapr when asked an opinion would say that was "interesting "  Then ask them something about themselves. Only with her bestie & me would she say that was the worst. And that was only very occasionally. When I would her her say "interesting " in conversation my ears would perk up. I would just ask myself where is she going with this. She was very kind