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PBS Newshour: How do you deal with disagreeable family at holiday get togethers?


MoseySusan
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Three pointers:

1) pre-rules:  agree beforehand to leave hot topics out of the room

2) don't personalize: generalize social/political commentary

3) artful conversation:  manage discussion with grace and studied disagreement

 

Yah...like that's going to happen.  The family who will be at my house tonight are total polar opposites.  I hope I don't float away on the cross fields. ;)

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Directly.  Most people - at least those of our generation - are 'trained' by society to be 'nice' and avoid conflict on such occasions.  If a disagreement arises, I'll say to the disputing person(s) "This isn't the place for an angry conversation, and neither of you are going to convince the other.  How about we drop the topic for something more pleasant?"

 

Usually that works, simply because it sets people back a bit to hear so direct an approach.

 

And if they continue to make the gathering disagreeable, then I endure as best I can.  For that event.  At the next one I either don't invite them or if it's someone else's event I don't go if the unpleasant people are going to show up.

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Three pointers:

1) pre-rules:  agree beforehand to leave hot topics out of the room

2) don't personalize: generalize social/political commentary

3) artful conversation:  manage discussion with grace and studied disagreement

 

Yah...like that's going to happen.  The family who will be at my house tonight are total polar opposites.  I hope I don't float away on the cross fields. ;)

 

 

These sound like the rules of the SquareDude Forum.

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Three pointers:

1) pre-rules:  agree beforehand to leave hot topics out of the room

2) don't personalize: generalize social/political commentary

3) artful conversation:  manage discussion with grace and studied disagreement

 

Yah...like that's going to happen.  The family who will be at my house tonight are total polar opposites.  I hope I don't float away on the cross fields. ;)

 

As much as I love PBS...it can be comical without trying.

 

Best of luck, Roadsue.

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Can't view your video in safety mode, Bob.  Which, if it's any indication of the scene you'll return to today, is probably a good reason for you to belly up to jsharr's eggnog bar and throw back a few.   ;)

NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THAT BOTTLE!!!  :nod head: 

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I am so thankful that while my in-laws and I might be very different people, we get along.

 

Most of the relatives on my side are great people.  There are one or two that are different than me; if their personalities come into conflict, I don't react, or hide what I'm thinking.  One or two are patronizing and don't realize that people see right through it, and they just aren't as smart as they think they are.  It's not worth making an issue for someone you only see a few times a year, and as I really don't care what those people think of me, it's easy enough to let that slide.

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There are some who will make an inappropriate comment quite innocently, simply because they don't realize a statement or phrase is offensive. I have no problem with such people and by the end of the evening, most of those comments will be forgotten. If someone wants to use a holiday gathering as a chance to speak about the latest cause or moral outrage, that's another matter entirely. And the debaters who simply want to argue are enough to bring out my inner Grinch.

(The Christmas Eve gathering this year was a wonderful experience which seemed to end too quickly.)

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