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A Gronking to Remember

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I can't believe no one has brought this up yet.

Rob Gronkowski is known for inspiring cries of ecstasy throughout New England as the Patriots' essential element to a successful Super Bowl run. With 12 touchdowns during the regular 2014 season, Gronkowski became the first tight end in NFL history to score at least ten touchdowns in four separate seasons, helping the Pats nab their sixth AFC East title in a row. But the 25-year-old may elicit different types of off-field pleasures as the object of desire in A Gronking to Remember, in which he helps one lonely, sex-starved Connecticut wife liven up her end zone.

Or, the erotic novel will leave you baffled and in a state of shock, like how the Patriots feel after facing the New York Giants in the Super Bowl. Lacey Noonan's A Gronking to Remember makes 50 Shades of Grey look like Madame Bovary in terms of its literary sophistication. The clichés about football-obsessed husbands and frustrated wives are pretty heavy-handed. Early on, the sexual protagonist complains that her Molson-drinking husband is pretty much an incompetent Neanderthal. Of course, he is also a Jets fan, which is why he is so angry, pigheaded, and sexually inept, a fact that Noonan, who is a Patriots fan, hits readers over the head with quite a few times.


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