jsharr ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Share #1 Posted February 12, 2015 Driving home last night, an overbearded, skinny pants clad hipster male crossed the street in front of me. Dark skinny jeans, t shirt (could not see the ironic statement on it, but I am sure it was there), dark colored cardigan, brogans, long unkempt hair coming out of a trendy watch cap worn at a jaunty angle, full, curly beard festooning his physiognomy, cigarette held cockily in his left hand and inhaled upon as he crossed the road with his cavalier, devil may care attitude of superiority. So, my question is this. Knowing that his beard contained lots of "product" to leave it full, supple, brimming with vitality and smelling ever so slightly of hemlock and Hemingway, how did he keep it from bursting into flame with an ignition source so close? I anxiously await your candid, yet jovial replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted February 12, 2015 Share #2 Posted February 12, 2015 I got nothing. But you knew that ahead of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Road Runner Posted February 12, 2015 Share #3 Posted February 12, 2015 I think all that wood went straight to your gargantuan head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Share #4 Posted February 12, 2015 PBR breath is a fire retardant. I thought everyone knew this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted February 12, 2015 Share #5 Posted February 12, 2015 Why would there be hipsters in Dallas/Fort Worth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share #6 Posted February 12, 2015 Why would there be hipsters in Dallas/Fort Worth? Maybe they are migratory? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted February 12, 2015 Share #7 Posted February 12, 2015 Maybe they are migratory? Dunno, they all seem to be here or in Portland, plus a few other pockets. I suspect that you aren't getting regulation hipsters, only dorky intern hipsters that are unable to realize that they need to go to where hipster critical mass is achieved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solution F_in Ray Of Sunshine Posted February 12, 2015 Solution Share #8 Posted February 12, 2015 Because self-immolation is so mainstream. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted February 12, 2015 Share #9 Posted February 12, 2015 Maybe they are migratory? I heard that a group of them my have escaped from Austin and drifted eastward. You should inform the authorities of you sighting. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share #10 Posted February 12, 2015 I heard that a group of them my have escaped from Austin and drifted eastward. You should inform the authorities of you sighting. Ummmm, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F_in Ray Of Sunshine Posted February 12, 2015 Share #11 Posted February 12, 2015 I heard that a group of them my have escaped from Austin and drifted eastward. You should inform the authorities of you sighting. Are they considered "nonnative invasive"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted February 12, 2015 Share #12 Posted February 12, 2015 Ummmm, Hey, the last report I got was they were heading toward Houston. All the more reason to report your sighting. Besides, aren't they pretty much known for their lack of of any discernable direction in life? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyBob Posted February 12, 2015 Share #13 Posted February 12, 2015 Are they considered "nonnative invasive"? If that's another way of saying "unwelcome pain in the ass", then yes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F_in Ray Of Sunshine Posted February 12, 2015 Share #14 Posted February 12, 2015 If that's another way of saying "unwelcome pain in the ass", then yes... Well "extermination" is commonly used to eradicate nonnative invasive species..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share #15 Posted February 12, 2015 If that's another way of saying "unwelcome pain in the ass", then yes... Hey, over hopped beers with snarky names are not gonna drink themselves you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allen ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Share #16 Posted February 12, 2015 Here in Athens they are less groomed, more of a free range hipster. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share #17 Posted February 12, 2015 Here in Athens they are less groomed, more of a free range hipster. Do they smoke cigarettes or corn cob pipes then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allen ★ Posted February 12, 2015 Share #18 Posted February 12, 2015 Do they smoke cigarettes or corn cob pipes then? I've been noticing less American Spirit packs and more European packs being left on tables. They are usually arranged in an urban ikebana style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted February 12, 2015 Share #19 Posted February 12, 2015 Hipsters typically don't smoke here. Only dirty hippy heathens smoke at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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