Jump to content

Speaking of monsters, the worst of all is the pizza scholar


Randomguy
Go to solution Solved by dinneR,

Recommended Posts

So I am sick and not up for cooking last night, and the gf (who was over her stressiness at this time), says she wants to order pizza and does so.   Cheese pizza from a pretty good place, so far so good.

The pizza arrives, she sets it on the counter and proceeds to open the pizza box and just stare at the pizza.  Like forever. like she is studying it.  Not taking a piece out for either of us or anything, but just looking at it and letting the heat escape completely.  I fight the urge to go 100% scorched earth with this development as best as I can, but I do tell her that she is committing the worst sin imaginable, worse than anything in the bible if you believe any of that claptrap.

WTF?????  They don't refrigerate pizza before bringing it to you, do they?  Hell no, because it is best when there is heat and the pizza retains it, how completely detached do you have to be to not realize this and keep the box closed except for when you are quickly removing a slice or two?   :angry:

  • Sad 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I turned the oven on and refused to eat until I could properly reheat it.

The best way to reheat pizza in on the stove in a covered skillet.  Everyone knows this.  Even stressed out guys with soon to be ex gfs and no happy ending.

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, jsharr said:

AT least we know where the GF stressiness went.... sounds like you need that stressiness cure I posted.

Not when I am sick.  When I am sick, she can go the solo ending route, especially after the pizza study.

 

1 minute ago, jsharr said:

The best way to reheat pizza in on the stove in a covered skillet.  Everyone knows this.  Even stressed out guys with soon to be ex gfs and no happy ending.

I would say you are wrong, because heating in a small enclosed skillet like that will moisten the cheese into a rubber-like substance.  You want to continue to caramelize that cheese as nature intended.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Not when I am sick.  When I am sick, she can go the solo ending route, especially after the pizza study.

I would say you are wrong, because heating in a small enclosed skillet like that will moisten the cheese into a rubber-like substance.  You want to continue to caramelize that cheese as nature intended.

image.png.b51ba85773d038edbd11f6da65c4ea99.png

       WRONG

  • Whatever 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

I prefer warm pizza to super hot pizza.  :dontknow:

I also never order just a cheese pizza.  That's just stupid.

There is a lot of wrong with this, also.  Super hot is always preferred, you can let it cool to your desired girlish inability to withstand a properly heated pizza.

Cheese pizza is fine sometimes, depending on the place.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Randomguy said:

Cheese pizza is fine

Yep - that about sums it up.  Pizza with toppings, though, can be great!

1 minute ago, Randomguy said:

Super hot is always preferred, you can let it cool to your desired girlish inability to withstand a properly heated pizza.

Super hot is when it is in the OVEN!!!! I want to put the pizza in my MOUTH.  

  • Heart 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

There is a lot of wrong with this, also.  Super hot is always preferred, you can let it cool to your desired girlish inability to withstand a properly heated pizza.

Cheese pizza is fine sometimes, depending on the place.

Pizza needs meat.  Pizza should be eaten luke hot.  Just between hot enough to melt the roof of your mouth and warm.  

And even the pros say if you are reheating in the oven to add a pan of water to keep your shitty meatless cheese pizza from becoming a dried out mess.

https://www.foodandwine.com/the-best-way-to-reheat-pizza-7564272

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Razors Edge said:

Yep - that about sums it up.  Pizza with toppings, though, can be great!

Super hot is when it is in the OVEN!!!! I want to put the pizza in my MOUTH.  

We are wasting our breathe here.  He will not listen to our voices of reason.  He puts beans in chili after all  

  • Yum 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

58 minutes ago, jsharr said:

Pizza needs meat.  Pizza should be eaten luke hot.  Just between hot enough to melt the roof of your mouth and warm.  

And even the pros say if you are reheating in the oven to add a pan of water to keep your shitty meatless cheese pizza from becoming a dried out mess.

https://www.foodandwine.com/the-best-way-to-reheat-pizza-7564272

 

image.png.2a551786388c8cb9fdc4068afc436051.png

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Super hot is when it is in the OVEN!!!! I want to put the pizza in my MOUTH.  

Well, at least you don't put the oven in your mouth, so you are a leg up on jsharrt.

22 minutes ago, jsharr said:

Pizza needs meat.  Pizza should be eaten luke hot.  Just between hot enough to melt the roof of your mouth and warm.  

And even the pros say if you are reheating in the oven to add a pan of water to keep your shitty meatless cheese pizza from becoming a dried out mess.

https://www.foodandwine.com/the-best-way-to-reheat-pizza-7564272

WRONG!  All pizzas do not need meat.  I do like pepperoni, but only monsters of another sort will put hamburger or (gasp) chicken on their pizza.  Sausage is ok, but it needs to be crumbly sausage.  Other acceptable toppings are mushrooms (preferably canned), onions, pineapple (when paired with either pepperoni and/or kalamata or castelvetrano olives).  I also have developed a taste for a small amount of asparagus on pizza, and green peppers are ok sometimes.  Banana and jalapeno peppers are also good.

From your article:

 

Heat up your oven

If you’re reheating multiple slices of leftover pizza, warming them up in the oven is the way to go. Think about when you’ve picked up pizza from a slice shop — usually they’ll reheat the slices in their own wood-fired or brick oven, which you can also do at home. To mimic that style, preheat the oven to 475℉ and place a cast-iron skillet or pizza stone in the lower or middle rack of the oven. Once the oven has fully preheated, add the slices and cook for four to five minutes for a square slice and about 2 minutes for a traditional thin-crust slice. This method works well for a few reasons: “The surface that’s preheating in your oven will crisp up and heat the bottom of the pizza, while the convection or broiler will re-melt the cheese, heat up the toppings, and bring your slice back to life

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Well, at least you don't put the oven in your mouth, so you are a leg up on jsharrt.

WRONG!  All pizzas do not need meat.  I do like pepperoni, but only monsters of another sort will put hamburger or (gasp) chicken on their pizza.  Sausage is ok, but it needs to be crumbly sausage.  Other acceptable toppings are mushrooms (preferably canned), onions, pineapple (when paired with either pepperoni and/or kalamata or castelvetrano olives).  I also have developed a taste for a small amount of asparagus on pizza.

From your article:

Heat up your oven

If you’re reheating multiple slices of leftover pizza, warming them up in the oven is the way to go. Think about when you’ve picked up pizza from a slice shop — usually they’ll reheat the slices in their own wood-fired or brick oven, which you can also do at home. To mimic that style, preheat the oven to 475℉ and place a cast-iron skillet or pizza stone in the lower or middle rack of the oven. Once the oven has fully preheated, add the slices and cook for four to five minutes for a square slice and about 2 minutes for a traditional thin-crust slice. This method works well for a few reasons: “The surface that’s preheating in your oven will crisp up and heat the bottom of the pizza, while the convection or broiler will re-melt the cheese, heat up the toppings, and bring your slice back to life

Nobody likes a cherry picker.

Also from the same article in full

 

Heat up your oven

If you’re reheating multiple slices of leftover pizza, warming them up in the oven is the way to go. Think about when you’ve picked up pizza from a slice shop — usually they’ll reheat the slices in their own wood-fired or brick oven, which you can also do at home. To mimic that style, preheat the oven to 475℉ and place a cast-iron skillet or pizza stone in the lower or middle rack of the oven. Once the oven has fully preheated, add the slices and cook for four to five minutes for a square slice and about 2 minutes for a traditional thin-crust slice. This method works well for a few reasons: “The surface that’s preheating in your oven will crisp up and heat the bottom of the pizza, while the convection or broiler will re-melt the cheese, heat up the toppings, and bring your slice back to life,” says Frank Tuttolomondo, owner of Mama’s TOO!. Ancona recommends placing a pan of water on the bottom of the oven to keep the interior humid and prevent the slices from drying out. 

 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oral surgeons love to deal with that scar tissue on the roof of your mouth from eating pizza with bubbling cheese that sticks there.  You know that part of the roof of your mouth that extends from the back of the front teeth and across the bony ridges.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, jsharr said:

Ancona recommends placing a pan of water on the bottom of the oven to keep the interior humid and prevent the slices from drying out. 

I don't know that guy, so he is probably a criminal or a Canadian or just escaped from the lunatic asylum, one of the three.   Maybe all three, just like Wilbur and Shootie and Rattlecan and Zephyr, you never know.

I don't let my pizza dry out, though, so that bit isn't important at all.  And an air fryer?  Really?  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Still sick with some gunk.  This post and replies cheered me plenty, though!

I just had the lemon and ginger tea over ice, and it is really good that way!

did you pour the boiling tea over the ice and slam it steaming hot? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Bikeguy said:

You lost me at cheese pizza.  :dontknow:

It needs at least 2 toppings, or more.

I think two toppings is usually optimal, you can taste each as a compliment to each other and the overall pizza.  Sometimes too many toppings end up making the flavors a bit muddled.

21 hours ago, Airehead said:

What was she looking at?  Was there a bug?

I think that is just her habit.  She thinks pizzas are pretty, and she is right about that.  That said, I told her I would marry her just so we could get divorced over her deranged act of pizza terror if she did that again.

  • Awesome 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I think two toppings is usually optimal, you can taste each as a compliment to each other and the overall pizza.  Sometimes too many toppings end up making the flavors a bit muddled.

Our general order would be two toppings AND extra cheese.  I will push to three toppings, but rarely more than that.  Things like a meat lovers is overkill, too.  One type of meat is fine for a pizza. 

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Our general order would be two toppings AND extra cheese.  I will push to three toppings, but rarely more than that.  Things like a meat lovers is overkill, too.  One type of meat is fine for a pizza. 

Now you are talking sense!   I have fallen off the extra cheese bandwagon, but it is no sin.  Overmeating a pizza kills the fun.  I will never have a pizza with folks who get double pepperoni and double sausage, and I absolutely refuse to share a pizza with ground beef on it in any form.  

10 minutes ago, Parsnip Totin Jack said:

The Swedish Chef replies, “Vert der ferk?” Four hundred degrees is the minimum temperature for reheating pizza. 

Yeah, I jammed it to nearly 500 degrees the other day, but it didn't get that high before I lost patience and stuck the slices in to get to normal pizza temperature.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Randomguy said:

Yeah, I jammed it to nearly 500 degrees the other day, but it didn't get that high before I lost patience and stuck the slices in to get to normal pizza temperature.

Open microwave, toss in pizza slice(s), hit the "add 30 sec" button, wait 30 seconds, eat hot-enough pizza.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...