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It was well past midnight


Destination
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…when the car sped across the Ohio border.

 
[This is the beginning of a forum story. Please feel free to add a sentence or two, a paragraph or a bit of dialogue. The finished product will show the collective wit and wisdom of the diverse members of this forum.]
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Bubba exited the freeway at the sign which read Ohio's World-Class Pizza Emporium. As soon as he was off the freeway, he realized he had made a mistake. Twelve police cars, all with lights flashing, had formed a roadblock at the entrance to the restaurant.

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Bubba gunned it and slammed his foot down on the accelerator.  Then he kicked it into gear.  Only problem was during the excitement he inadvertently put it into 3rd instead of 1st and the car jumped haphazardly forward like a frog out of the water -- before flooding and dying like an excreted turd.

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Goober, thinking quickly, reached under the passenger seat and pulled out the putrid dead fish, which had now gained a fuzzy green layer. "I believe this is what you're lookin' fer," he bellowed as he heaved the fish to the nearest police officer, Cst. Troutman.

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Troutman wasn't the kinda of guy to take that shit standing still.  With a Dorito in hand and a doughnut in the other, he pounced on that sad sack of stench idling in the oncoming traffic.

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Troutman was not amused.  Here had this hussy who he knew was attempting to swindle him with her big tits and there was Steve throwing on some trousers.  "What kind of dumb cop do they play me for?", he asked himself.

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Troutman, the savvy veteran that he is, leaned down and whispered in Daisy's ear.  "Listen, you are in deep doo-doo.  But I might be able to help you out here provided you are willing to play ball with me."  Taking a slow looking around at his surroundings, the T-man then looked deep into her eyes and said with a straight face, 

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Meanwhile, back at Ohio's World-Class Pizza Emporium, Troutman and his buddies were just sitting down to enjoy a free fish dinner.  "It sure was nice of those guys to give us this fish" said Troutman, who never was the brightest flame in the candleabara.  "Pass the malt vinegar" shout Seargeatn Liscio from the other end of the table as he took a big slug of Mug's Rootbeer and loosened his gun belt to the final notch.

 

Soon, the hallucinogens that had been buidling up in the moldering fish would have the entire squad of cops seeing dancing donuts served by a bevy of hot, barely legal co eds.

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"Where are the gawd damn anchovies?!", shouted Troutman.  It was only then that he heard a distant wooing (or was it cooing?) from a tall, slender woman in the back room holding a pair of handcuffs in one hand and dangling keys in the other.  She was standing at the back corner of the room near the entry way and T-man felt his heart jump.  He languidly took a glance at his surroundings and the tables occupants and flicked an olive from his collar.

 

"I'm outta here.", he roared.

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