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Milk Sissies


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My Fellow Americans, I wish to speak to you today about a sickness in our country that is far more threatening to our future than the Red Menace, the HeebeeJeebies, or even the Democrats...


I'm here today to talk to you about Milk Sissies


there are people out there who just don't want to live like you and I. They hate everything we stand for. Ice cream, Rootbeer Floats, and even sometimes Cheeze Whizz.


The insidious part of this grand conspiracy is that these anti American milk sissies can disguise themselves to look like you or me. They are, even now, walking among us waiting for the opportunity to strike.


When I was a boy my mother taught me never to cry over spilt milk.


Well, I have to now do exactly that. We must, as a nation, stand up to these milk sissies before they take away the things we have grown up in this country to love...a tall glass of buttermilk, a scoop of ice cream, even our cheesy fries


To protect our nation from this menace, I am asking Congress for authorization under the War Powers Act to launch a military campaign to save our milk and our dairy products.


I urge all of you to support our troops, in this our lactic crusade, and know that no American President has ever drank non dairy creamers in their coffee, and as long as I'm your President, no Leader of the Free World ever will




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Page Turner, on 25 Feb 2015 - 1:08 PM, said:


...lactose gives me terrible gas. :(

That's Communist propaganda.  I can see I need to add you to my "Enemies List".... 


Let's see here....Jane Fonda, Daniel Elsberg, JSharr, Page Turner....


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dotman17, on 25 Feb 2015 - 1:18 PM, said:

Sure hoping my sarcasm came through


Well, I see a few other things came through on the FBI surveillance report...Like I see you refusing a glass of milk on this slide right here



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Page Turner, on 25 Feb 2015 - 1:23 PM, said:


...you would certainly add me to the list after a long, closed car ride when I had recently eaten an ice cream cone.



...well, if you actually were to eat the ice cream, I could see the way clear to have the FBI remove you from the no-fly list



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dotman17, on 25 Feb 2015 - 2:00 PM, said:

Hey, Nate, I typically like cream with my coffee. Does that make me a commie??


no, but your summer vacation to Hanoi to visit your Uncle Ho was you on our watch list



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