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How judgmental are you?


SuzieQ

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Do you find yourself judging people on how they look, where they live, what they do or what they believe in etc?  Most of the time our first instinct is to judge, then some of us check ourselves....

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I never judge people on how they look, I judge them on the way they act. If I see them being a prick to anyone, I consider them in need of pure sarcasm for the rest of their life without parol. If they demand respect... tuff shit! 

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A lot less than what I used to be.

At some point as my world went online, I saw more and more online comments from people whose anonymity made them feel safe in judging, often to feel better about themselves.  The more I saw of it, the more I asked myself "So what's your first reaction; are you acting any better than the responses you see?"

I won't say I'm not judgmental any more.  There are times when one should stick to one's guns, and not water down their views.  But, judging a situation where you don't have all the context or information, or where you have the benefit of hindsight that someone else didn't have; I let it go.  Until I live a life that's blameless, and all...

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I don't seriously judge people based on where they live.  Any negative judging based on the state people live is all done in jest.  I understand that people who live in Greenville are exceptional humans.

I am not too judgmental of people unless they are hateful.  I don't care what people believe or how they act until it starts to harm or threaten others.

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Survival instinct leads to human profiling.  You check out every person each time you enter a room and make some snap decisions about your interactions with them.

You are judgmental even if you don't realize it.

This is true. And hopefully we reach a place where we don't let those snap decisions rule us.

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Not as much as I used to be.  More than I want to be.  

In my case, my give-a-shit factor has gone down exponentially as my age has gone up. I no longer have the time or energy to worry about what someone else is doing/not doing, as long as it doesn't affect me. I will accept and respect anyone willing to grant me the same courtesy.

I've also seen time and again that almost nothing is as black and white as it first appears to be. (I've heard there are 50 shades of off-white...)

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Having been judged by others because of being overweight my entire life, I try very hard not to be. I fail at times, but I do my best to keep it in check.

Was judged very young because of my differences. And that judging had such an effect on me that I became something completely different to try and meet the 'expectations' that prompted those judgements. And if I sm totally honest here, I became 'judgementsl' of those who were like me, or rather the person I was as a child. 

And that was very wrong and very hypocritical. But it was how I hid myself and protected myself from the harshness of the world. 

FSOG said yesterday that the military was the last place that he would have expected an easy go of it in this situation. He is correct. In the military there is no way in hell I'd have ever confronted my self. 

That said, I wish I could change things. 

 

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​It is human nature to process thoughts in your head.  I never vocalize what I am thinking.  Like I said earlier, I am often correct in my thoughts.

I pull no punches and get straight to the point.  Direct is the way I roll.  My buddy showed up in sweats today and here is our conversation:

<rolling up on my bike and seeing my friend in sweatpants>

DH: "Sweatpants, eh? Are you saying to the world ... I just don't care?"   <chuckling>

DH buddy:  Yeah, I don't care.

<after mobbing the trail for a while...>

DH buddy:  Something is rubbing on my frame.

DH:  Is is your crappy sweatpants?  :D

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I pull no punches and get straight to the point.  Direct is the way I roll.  My buddy showed up in sweats today and here is our conversation:

<rolling up on my bike and seeing my friend in sweatpants>

DH: "Sweatpants, eh? Are you saying to the world ... I just don't care?"   <chuckling>

DH buddy:  Yeah, I don't care.

<after mobbing the trail for a while...>

DH buddy:  Something is rubbing on my frame.

DH:  Is is your crappy sweatpants?  :D

​I was in jokester mode.  Pokin a friend.  He still likes me.

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 And that was very wrong and very hypocritical. But it was how I hid myself and protected myself from the harshness of the world.

....but you learned and grew... Many don't.

I got a slight taste of being judged, as a kid - I was the only one in my school who had long hair. I was a rabid music fan. When I went to another school for a basketball game, kids I didn't even know would come up to me and go "got any pot you want to sell?" I remember feeling kinda pissed off that they made that assumption about me, based on how I looked. Granted, hair is not even on the same level as something you can't change, but I learned a little lesson....

 

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....but you learned and grew... Many don't.

I got a slight taste of being judged, as a kid - I was the only one in my school who had long hair. I was a rabid music fan. When I went to another school for a basketball game, kids I didn't even know would come up to me and go "got any pot you want to sell?" I remember feeling kinda pissed off that they made that assumption about me, based on how I looked. Granted, hair is not even on the same level as something you can't change, but I learned a little lesson....

 

So , did you have the weed?  ;)

I had really long hair too. In the early 70s that wasn't too unexpected. And later when kids who didn't know me saw me, I got that question too!!

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So , did you have the weed?  ;)

I had really long hair too. In the early 70s that wasn't too unexpected. And later when kids who didn't know me saw me, I got that question too!!

​Ditto.  In HS I thought of myself as an athlete and would never consider smoking anything.  I also had long hair and wore the preverbal Army field jacket and BB jeans.  I was stopped on the streets more than once with the "got any weed for sale, man?" question.  I don't think I knew what pot even looked like at that time.  

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So , did you have the weed?  ;)

Friends did. I had no interest - especially after I discovered how much fun it was to torture them when they got stoned....:P

I had really long hair too. In the early 70s that wasn't too unexpected. 

In in my small, backwater town, it was. I was pretty much it, in my school. (In my "senior will" I left "To any guy who wants it, the right to have the longest hair in the school".)

Later on, there was a Heart Fund fundraiser at the local gas station. When you pulled in, someone from the Senior Center would come out and hit you up for a buck. I came in, in my car and gave them their dollar. A few minutes later, I came back on the motorcycle, fully expecting to be "accosted" for the dollar. I saw the woman inside stand up, look at the bike and sit back down. I  made a point of it to give her the dollar when I went inside.

Again, I realized how unfair it was to assume something about someone.

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I'm judgmental when it comes to people's behavior.

​I pay a lot of attention to behaviour and speech, whether positive or negative. If speech or actions, whether good or bad, are the product of a strongly held belief or ideology, I'll make some judgements there as well.

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Humans are judging machines, that is how we get through life in a shorthand manner.  Groups are judged more harshly than individuals, as there is much good in individuals that is not present or immediately identifiable in groups.

​Good point.  Our brains have to take shortcuts with all the sensory bombardment we get, so summing up is what we do. :)

Even so, I was a little perturbed when I crossed over from INTP to INFJ.  Thinking to feeling, I am ok with that, but I would rather be thought of as perceiving than judging.  So I expect EPG to be here any minute now. :D

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Humans are judging machines, that is how we get through life in a shorthand manner.  Groups are judged more harshly than individuals, as there is much good in individuals that is not present or immediately identifiable in groups.

​In short...a person can be good.  People suck. (one of my darker, but sometimes realistic views)

Then again, how does that figure into cyclists being judged as bad by the behavior of a lousy few, or people of one faith (not to get too deep) being judged only by the bad individuals, because they stand out way more than the good ones?

We judge groups harshly --but we often do it based on the worst of their individuals, not by the best, or even the middle.

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​In short...a person can be good.  People suck. (one of my darker, but sometimes realistic views)

Then again, how does that figure into cyclists being judged as bad by the behavior of a lousy few, or people of one faith (not to get too deep) being judged only by the bad individuals, because they stand out way more than the good ones?

We judge groups harshly --but we often do it based on the worst of their individuals, not by the best, or even the middle.

It's the human condition. We are a paradoxical lot - 'amalgamations of dignity and depravity; glorious ruins.'

Will we always be judged by others. We will always make our own judgments as well. But let us resolve to judge others by the content of their  hearts, the worth of their souls, the strength of their spirit and the image in which they are fashioned.

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Humans are judging machines, that is how we get through life in a shorthand manner.  Groups are judged more harshly than individuals, as there is much good in individuals that is not present or immediately identifiable in groups.

​You are right....everyone judges as it's a survival trait.

Humans are constantly judging and mentally formulating responses to imagined situations. Luckily we have such a thing as stereotypes which are very useful in social situations so most of the time we already know how we will act in our encounters with others. We expect our local butcher to be standing dressed in a striped apron behind the counter and not dressed in a pink tutu completing a plie in the middle of the floor.

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