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Children Early in Life or Late


Zealot

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Conversation from this morning. Coworker is expecting his third child in July. This wasn't planned and they thought they were past this stage in life. So the discussion ensued concerning having children later in life. There are benefits, but I like being a relatively young empty nester.

What say you?

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Conversation from this morning. Coworker is expecting his third child in July. This wasn't planned and they thought they were past this stage in life. So the discussion ensued concerning having children later in life. There are benefits, but I like being a relatively young empty nester grandparent.

What say you?

​FIFY

I'm glad I waited until my 30's to have a child. It might have been nice to have more but a medically-necessary partial hysterectomy put an end to that.  

A friend from high school waited until her 40's and she's happy with her decision.  She is 55 and has two children, 8 and 10.  Me, I wouldn't want to be in that position but it wasn't my decision.  I'll tell her she should have consulted with me before having children.

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I am glad I waited to get married, as even in my 30s I had a lot of growing up to do.

That said, I can see the advantages to having kids young, so you are still younger at heart, more active, more empathetic, energetic, etc.  Also, be able to start life with out kids in your 40s or early 50s instead of late 50s, early 60s

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We had our boy relatively later in life. I was 40. We met later too. so it was like better get this done now because I don't want to be diapering in my 70's. George Burns notwithstanding. We were more established so that made things a "little" easier.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be empty nesters at 40

 

One of our drivers just got his kids started off in life. 19 & 21 I think. And then his wife showed up preggers. Oii

Oh, our boy is my only child....that I know of

 

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What say you?

​This is what my wife and I have both said since day one.

 

Children Early NEVER in Life or Late

 

Nothing against kids. We even like them, but don't want our own. Never have.

Edited by kingtermite
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​FIFY

It didn't need fixing. ;)

I love being a grandparent. I love being a parent as well. But honestly both scared me.

Being married never scared me. And being in that place where she and I are now as empty nesters, never scared me either. 

 

 

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We had kids early on. I can see advantages either way. If we had waited we would have been better off financially, perhaps I'd have even been more patient with the kids. But while I love when the grandkids visit, I'm not sure I could handle kids full time again. And there's something to be said about being an empty nester earlier in life.:nod head:

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The point is moot for me. We were not able to have children, so we have spent our lives living vicariously through others. What that really means is we borrow other people's kids, spoil them, and then give them back.

Ok, seriously now. I figure if I had my own kids to worry about, I might not have been available to be a father to my nephew. This kids is really smart; a leader, not a follower.  It's my belief that proper guidance will be the between him running a major corporation or a cartel...

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We had kids early on. I can see advantages either way. If we had waited we would have been better off financially, perhaps I'd have even been more patient with the kids. But while I love when the grandkids visit, I'm not sure I could handle kids full time again. And there's something to be said about being an empty nester earlier in life.:nod head:

Oh, nicely said!! Very much in agreement!

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The point is moot for me. We were not able to have children, so we have spent our lives living vicariously through others. What that really means is we borrow other people's kids, spoil them, and then give them back.

 

This is what a grandparent is!!! :nod head:

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Huge risks.  I say it is a bad idea if a woman does it after 35.  The risk of downs and other maladies is pretty high.

I didn't want children myself.  I already have a chronic disease and kids seem like home wreckers to me, anyway.  I am very happy with an empty nest.

Edited by Dirtyhip
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Two thoughts.  If you have kids too early you will suffer financial pain as your income will probably not be as large as later yet if you have kids late you will have less time to recover for your own retirement.  I was in my 30's when I had kids and they went through college debt free.  I'm never going to be that millionaire retiree that everyone talks about.

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If you want to make your own children don't count on being able to do it any time you want.  Stuff happens.  I'm glad my wife and I didn't wait. We still were not able to make our own babies but at least we can't blame ourselves for waiting too long.  The only pregnancy we had was six weeks after we got married and it was tubal.  It ruptured the tube and my wife almost died. We tried a few medical procedures and fertility drugs along with keeping charts and all that fun stuff.  All during this time we had foster kids.  We had some really good experiences with raising foster kids and one really sad one.  We decided no more kids that we had to give back. We adopted a six week old five pound baby boy in 1978. We adopted another boy a few years later and a year after that our third son. We decided it was time for a girl but were never able to adopt a girl.  We had a few almost placements.  Anyhow we have girls now, eight granddaughters and we spoil them rotten. Don't wait too long to have kids or you will be too old to enjoy your grandkids.

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​This is what my wife and I have both said since day one.

 

Children Early NEVER in Life or Late

 

Nothing against kids. We even like them, but don't want our own. Never have.

​I like kids.  But I decided the same.  Truth be told the more I look at my own life, if there's even a risk a child would have some of my gene pool, better to dream of what having a child would be like than to have one.

SO cannot have children due to an extreme health risk for her or the child; that's fine by me.

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I had mine young - 26 when my first was born - I was ready to be a mother and loved every minute of it, but in hindsight I was way too young when I got married (25).  So, if I had to do it all over again I would probably do it later because I would get married later.  

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 I was 21 when I got married. My first child was born when I was 22 and my second when I was 25. 

I wasn't financially 'secure', was scared to death to be a parent and really had no idea how to be one successfully. 

But it turned out to be the most rewarding thing in life I've done.  I feel truly blessed and love being their parent and their friend.

Sometimes life is like learning to swim, you just gotta jump in... My momma used to say,  " do something, even if it's wrong." Took me many years to figure out what she meant by that. Fear and over anilyzation can lead to  indecision and sitting on the side lines. Life is a game with a limited time of play. Sometimes you just gotta play or it passes you by...

 

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I was 23 and in the Army when I got married. Had my daughter when I was 25 and caring for her and watching her grow was the happiest time of my life.

She's now 51 but she's still the most important thing in my life and I worry about her every bit as much as when she was a child. I love having children around and my only regret is not having grandchildren....I find that very hard.

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